I Had It All

-Two Months Later-

“George?” I addressed my boss, “Can I speak with you a moment?”

His welcoming eyes twinkled, and he nodded politely. “Have a seat.” He gestured to the chair across from his desk, and when I sat in it, I nearly sank through the upholstery. “So, what’s on your mind?”

I inhaled deeply, taking one last look at the interior of the Alternative Press building. Posters, ticket stubs, autographs in Sharpie markers, and vinyl records lined the walls; my boss’s desk was a complete mess, or, as he’d so lovingly called it, “controlled chaos”; shelves upon shelves were stacked to the edges with CD cases. As much as I knew I’d miss it, I knew it wasn’t the place for me; not anymore. “I think my time here is up.” I didn’t know what other way to say it; I didn’t want to be cliché, I didn’t want to let him down, and I didn’t want to come out and say the exact words “I quit”. Euphemisms never failed me.

“So you’re quitting?” Well, sometimes they did.

I finally brought my eyes to look at his, owning up. “Yes.”

“Well,” he started, looking down at his hands which were folded on his desk. I really couldn’t tell what he was thinking by the look on his face, which definitely worried me. “You’ve been a pleasure to work with, and you’ve served this magazine well for three years. I think I speak for the entire staff when I say, you’ll be missed.”

He smiled sincerely at me, making me feel relieved and guilty all at the same time. “Thank you for understanding. I just think I need to move on. As much as I love Cleveland, I need a new start. I need something new.”

“We appreciate everything you’ve done. Once we get everything settled, you’re a free woman.” Free. It was a funny feeling. “Good luck on everything. You’ve been wonderful to work with.”

“Thank you so much.” I hugged him tightly, knowing that this would probably be the last time I’d ever see him; he, as well as everyone else I’d worked with, had grown to become great friends of mine. I’d sorely miss them.

-------

He kissed me lightly on the temple, hugging me closely from the side. “I’ll miss you…” he whispered into my ear.

“I’ll miss you too, Alex.”

“But we’ll see each other soon, though!” he reminded me, his eyes bright in an attempt to lighten the situation.

“Yes, soon! One month. Only a month.” I collapsed into his torso, resting my head against his chest. “I just need time to get everything packed and moved out of my house… Then I’ll be back home, in Baltimore.”

Home. An interesting concept, really. Cleveland, although it had been where I’d resided for two years, and had been where I’d lived out my dream for writing for Alternative Press magazine, was not my home. Being with Ian, in a house, was not my home. Maryland, however, where I’d grown up, learned about life, made friends, fell in love… that was home. And I hadn’t been home in years.

“I love you,” he whispered into my hair so quietly it almost didn’t exist. I gasped inaudibly; neither of us had uttered those words since our relationship in high school. Although we weren't “official” yet, we were “together”, in some sense. We had plans for me to move back home near him, and we had been almost inseparable since my visit in the hospital. After I had left the hospital, his tour had ended almost immediately; he stayed in a hotel nearby for the last two months so we could be together until I finally made my decision to move back home. It was silly, illogical, impractical, and completely impulsive; but that was just how we were, and neither of us would have changed it for the world.

“I love you too, Alex.”

He smiled the brightest smile I’d seen him wear in ages, and at that moment, I knew I had made the right decision.