I Had It All

-Flashback-

I pulled into Kelsey’s driveway, seeing that she was already outside, sitting on her porch swing. Upon getting out of my car, I smiled and waved at her as I walked towards her sitting figure. “Morning, Kelsey Bear.”

Her eyes were fixed on the ground with her hands folded in her lap. When she finally tilted her head up to look at me, I saw her drooping, bloodshot eyes; she looked weak, tired, and exhausted.

“Kels, what’s wrong?”

She just shrugged. I sat next to her, leaning on her side.

“Come on, Kelseykins, whatsamatter?” I asked in a baby voice, hoping to get her to crack a smile.

Her lips curled, revealing a few teeth, but the smile was halfhearted and disappeared in a flash. “Nothing’s the matter,” she finally said, standing up. “Let’s go to school.” She sent me a fake smile, and I smiled back. But the whole time, I couldn’t help but think - was the reason she was so upset because Ian came to her house last night?

-Present Day-

We just finished a show, and the guys and I were hanging out on our bus, just drinking and hanging out. It was a relaxing night with the boys, and thankfully, I’d forgotten about what Jack did to Kelsey’s picture the previous day. Everything was back to normal; I was back to making dirty jokes with my friends, reveling in the post-show euphoria. Yesterday was just a temporary bump in the road; a necessary evil.

“Chug it, chug it, chug it!” I laughed as the guys chanted, and downed the remaining alcohol in my glass. All was right in the world.

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-Two Days Later-

The sound of pounding water was evident somewhere in the distance. I shot my eyes open, which I realized was a bad idea when the sunlight pouring through the window harshly struck my eyes. “Fuck,” I whined, squeezing my eyes shut.

When I finally adjusted to the light in the room, I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I sighed when I realized I was in a one-bed hotel room. This was all too familiar; I knew the feeling oh-so-well.

I scrounged around the floor, looking for my own clothes in the pile of women’s garments, and slid them on as I found them. My shoes, wallet, keys, and belt were strewn haphazardly around the room, and I bent down to retrieve each one of them as I quickly bolted out the door. To me, this was just another day; just another girl I’d used who would come out of the shower to find an empty room.

I knew that I’d want to strangle any guy who used Kelsey like that, but with these girls, as awful as it sounded, I just didn’t care.

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“Hey, Alex,” Jack said casually, sipping a glass of orange juice with his breakfast as I returned to the bus.

“Hey, man.”

“Another one-night-stand?” he asked with a smirk.

I smiled. “Yeah.”

Rian walked in at that moment and flipped his phone closed. No doubt, he was talking to Kara, his girlfriend of God knows how many years; I could tell because he had that lingering smile I used to have whenever I talked to Kelsey on the phone. I couldn’t help but feel a little envious of what he and Kara had. But I knew I had to forget about Kelsey - that part of my life was over with.

“Man, you don’t know what you’re missing. Sure, it may seem nice, jumping around from girl to girl, getting laid, but… I don’t know. It’s nice always coming home to see the same girl,” Rian told me with a shake of the head.

Did he think I was stupid? Of course I knew how right he was. But there wasn’t any girl I wanted to see more than once, besides Kelsey.

“Dammit, Rian, don’t tell him things like that! Look at his face,” Zack said, pointing at me. “He’s got that wistful look on his face. You’re making him think of Kelsey again. He can’t keep thinking of her. Quit talking about it.”

“Thank you, Zack,” I muttered, suddenly not feeling as good as I had been earlier.