It Wasn't

Alice hurriedly stood up and got dressed, avoiding Billie Joe's eyes. Without a word, she let him put his clothes back on, before turning the knob of the closet door. They had their fun, and now it was time to keep it in the past.

As silently as possible, Alice and Billie Joe set the food, snacks, and soda on the table. They hauled the giant boom box into a corner of the living room and arranged a collection of CDs nearby. The house was officially a party zone.

Billie Joe clapped his hands together. "We did a damn good job. There's no way Tre could resist a party that looks like this. Adie and the kids will love it too. All you have to do now, is get that wonderful sister of yours to come."

Alice thought for a second. Robyn would never come. Obviously, any party hosted by Billie Joe would include Tre and Mike. And there wasn't an ice cube's chance in hell of getting Robyn to come anywhere near Tre. She was hurt, or scared, or both or something, but whatever it was, she was staying away from the man she loved so much.

Struck by her own thought, she snapped her head around and faced Billie Joe. No. It wasn't happening. It wasn't and it never would. A blush crept up her neck. How could she have thoughts like this when she had a boyfriend? Frank was good for her. Frank and Alice could hold a steady relationship and they would last for a long, long time. She needed Frank.

But Alice wanted Billie Joe Armstrong. This was so wrong. Without saying a word, she turned on her heels and ran out of his house. As she turned the keys in her ignition, she tried to block out every thought in her head except for reuniting Robyn and Tre.

Billie Joe all but banged his head against the wall as Alice practically fled from his house. He knew it was a bad idea. Why didn't he ever listen to the side of him that knew the art of making good choices? God damn it. There was no way he would be able to face his wife ever again if he told her. He didn't have the strength to break Adrienne's heart.

Alice bounded up the stairs and pushed herself into Robyn's apartment. Sweet escape. With her stomach churning, she ran to the bathroom, but stopped. Still sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by tissues and sobbing into her hands, was Robyn. Alice forgot everything. Billie Joe, the closet, her feelings, everything was nothing compared to this sight. The sight of her older sister Robyn, dying inside, but not breathing a word.

"Robyn!" Alice said loudly. Robyn looked up with quite a different look on her face. It was determined.

"Al—Alice," Robyn croaked, pulling a chair next to hers, "I'll tell you."

Alice looked surprised but plopped down onto the chair. She looked into her sister's eyes; ready to hear anything and everything she had to say.

Robyn began to speak. She told Alice everything. How Tre started fooling around with the accordion, the way he smiled at her when she laughed. She told Alice about how he jumped down from his 'stage' and managed to land perfectly on one knee. She told her about the way he moved as he pulled the dark velvet box from his pocket, and the way the bright diamond ring looked against the midnight black. Robyn told Alice about Tre's hopeful face, about his beautiful words, the way his eyes told her that he would wait forever if he had to.

And then, Robyn told Alice how she felt. She told Alice how beautiful the ring was, and how perfect the timing was. She told her that the words he used made her heart beat faster and slower at the same time. She told her about the fear that rose in her chest with every fragile sentence and how her heart started to break with each thud-thud.

"Alice," Robyn said, her words trembling, more tears threatening to fall, "Alice, I wanted to say yes, I really did. I love him. I would have given anything to jump into Tre's arms and tell him that I would marry him, and that no force on earth would ever separate us."

Alice stared at her, long and hard, doing all she could to keep from asking why she didn't.

"I couldn't" Robyn continued, "I just couldn't."

Alice couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand to hear anything else about this stupidity, about Robyn hurting herself and everyone around her for no reason at all. "Why the hell not Robyn? Why the hell not?" she screamed, "Why couldn't you just say yes to him? Why couldn't you have been in his arms right now? Tell me you have a good reason for this, or there's going to be hell to pay!"

Robyn's face crumpled and a fresh wave of tears came forth. Alice instantly regretted her words. "I'm sorry Robbie. I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry. Just—just calm down and tell me what happened, okay?"

Robyn wiped her eyes, but didn't say anything. She simply took Alice's palm and placed her own right hand within it. Alice just stared, unable to understand what her sister was trying to tell her. Robyn lifted her hand and showed Alice her ring finger. Alice stared hard at it for moments.

What about her ring finger? There was a paper cut, a few pen stains, and a small round scar-like depression left from...

No. "Robyn Elizabeth James!" Alice shrieked, "I don't fucking believe this. Tell me you didn't. Tell me you signed it!"

The older sister simply hung her head. Alice yanked her up by the arm, and dragged her to the door, ignoring the confused protests and questions that were being thrown her way. She pulled Robyn downstairs and all but pushed her into the car. They were going to Billie Joe's house right now and Tre was going to know everything and this whole mess would be sorted out one way or another.

As she turned the keys in the ignition, Alice hesitated for a moment. She knew she was doing the right thing by taking Robyn to where she knew Tre would be. But was it right for her to go where she knew Billie Joe would be?

Alice threw this thought into her mental recycling can and drove on. She blocked out all thought except for her destination and her reason for going there. She spared not a moment to turn her head and look at Robyn, a vision of an unwanted death. Her hair was unwashed and nest-like; she'd been wearing the same pajamas for a week now, and she hadn't showered for just as long. There were bags under her eyes and no make up on her tear-washed face.

All of that would be fixed. Robyn did not deserve any of this. Alice applied the brakes abruptly as they neared Billie Joe's house. There were already a few cars there, and a little boy was entering the house. It was probably one of Billie Joe's children.

Alice closed the door as gently as she could in her temper and walked quickly up to the door. Taking a glance behind her, she noticed that Robyn wasn't there. She ran back to the car, and after a brief scuffle, brought Robyn to the door as well.

It was open. Alice couldn't spot Billie Joe. But she saw Adrienne leading the kids upstairs. She saw that Mike and Tre were in the middle of a conversation, both enjoying themselves. Robyn saw them too, and Alice knew that if Robyn had her way, she would just look at her boyfriend for the rest of her life.

She ushered Robyn into the house, and had barely stepped inside when someone's mouth covered hers. Billie? Oh lord! His wife was here! Frantically, she pushed him off, and her panic subsided. It was Frank.

Alice remembered. She had called Frank to come to the party. Yes, before she helped Billie prepare everything. Before they got the streamers down. Before she had sex with a married man in a narrow closet. Alice's heart sank into her stomach.

"Frank!" she exclaimed weakly, curving her lips into the smallest smile. Oh boy. As of that very moment, Alice decided that she would never again go anywhere near Billie Joe Armstrong with anything but platonic intentions.

"Cross your heart and hope to die, stick a needle in your eye?" a deep and playful voice drifted from behind her. Startled, Alice turned around with her eyes nearly popping out of her head. And almost instantly, she calmed down.

It was Mike, talking to Joey. "Yeah! Cross my heart!" Joey challenged enthusiastically, "I know I can eat this entire jar of gummy worms in ten seconds!"

"I know you can too," Adrienne sauntered over casually and plucked the jar out of her son's hands. "But you won't."

"Aw, Mom!" Joey wandered away to find something else to do. Alice's heart plunged even deeper. Billie Joe should have been perfectly content with this, with what he had. He probably still was. So, why did he want Alice? Why did his fingers suggest more than his words? She shivered, but took hold of Frank and took him outside to explain the situation.

"You're kidding me." Was all he could say, "I can't believe this Alice; its so... strange. When two people obviously belong together, why are they doing this to each other? Why are they acting like this?"

Alice frowned. She understood Frank's confusion, for it was the very same confusion that welled inside of her. Why would Robyn keep this from everyone? And why would Tre just keep away from her?

He was hurt. Maybe that was it. Tre was keeping his distance because he was hurt. No one wants pain. And every time he thought of Robyn, the pain shot through him, again and again. Every time she though of Billie Joe, pain shot through Alice until she couldn't take it anymore.

She sat down by herself; Frank had gone to get some drinks. If Frank knew, would he stay away from her? Could she live with hurting this boy that seemed so right, so perfect for her? Alice looked up at the ceiling and pondered. She knew how betrayal felt.

Ryan seemed so long ago, but when he left her, it was like a cold wave just washed over her and didn't pull away. And the feeling was refreshed when she saw him at the concert party... and a new feeling came into her when she was with Billie Joe. When she... kissed Billie Joe?

This wasn't Alice. This wasn't Alice at all! Frank made her feel at home. Frank made her feel special, and wanted. When she was with Frank, there was a spark, a connection. But oh, when she was with Billie Joe, with his breath on her neck, it was so much more than a spark. It was like pure, electric current.

Alice pulled herself up in one swift motion and stomped her foot on the ground. Where the hell was Robyn, because damn it, she was going to do what she came here to do.

"Robyn?" she looked around the room for her sister. She heard a whispered sob from nearby and pushed her way through strangers towards the sound.

"Robyn?" Alice nearly dropped her glass at what she saw. Oh lord. "Robyn, come here, its okay. Come on, you can do this." She could stand the sight of the person she'd looked up to all her life, a soggy mess on the floor, in a place she didn't want to be in.

Gently, she helped Robyn up and hugged her. "You're strong Robbie; you can do this," Alice soothed. Robyn pulled out of her sister's embrace and paled.

"I can't... I'm sorry... " Robyn stammered

Alice whipped around to see Tre, standing right behind her with bloodshot eyes.
He had eyes only for Robyn and seemed to be struggling for his throat to make some noise. Holding back tears, Tre spoke in a deadly whisper. Only one word came out; the only word that had been on his mind for weeks.

"Why?"