It Wasn't

"Robyn!" Alice burst into the apartment frantically looking for her sister. "Robyn where are you?" Desperation dripped from her voice. Where was the person she needed most?

"We're over here!" a voice called from the kitchen. We? Who was 'we'? Alice didn't need anyone else there. Just Robyn. Alice only wanted Robyn. She only needed to tell Robyn the truth.

"We've got good news!" Tre's voice added as Alice delayed her steps. Slowly, she entered the kitchen to find Robyn, Tre, and a bespectacled man in an Armani suit.

"Hi," Alice murmured. "Robyn, can I talk to you?" She glanced at the other two people in the room. "Alone."

Robyn smiled. "Sure thing," she looked at Tre and the other man. "But, first, we have some good news, Allie." Alice nodded her head wearily for her to continue. "This is Harry Wordsworth. Our lawyer." Robyn beamed at the solemn-looking man, who didn't return the smile. "Remember the divorce papers?" Alice nodded again. "Well, it's been six years since I've signed them and even though Larry refused to sign on several occasions," Robyn's smile flittered a little, "And he, um, was violent, he was proven to be an abusive and incompetent husband," Robyn's mouth formed an unstable line, "And unfit to be a father and—"

"Wait, what?" Tre cut her off. "Unfit to be a father?" Robyn clapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she'd let slip too much.

"Um, yes," was all she could manage.

"You have a child?" his eyes brimmed with confusion. "When?"

"I had a child," Robyn cast her eyes to the floor. "Until Larry..." she couldn't go on.

Tre put a comforting arm around her and continued what she was saying. "Larry has been deemed mentally unstable and an unfit member of society. He has refused court orders for a divorce as well. And since the six year waiting period has passed, Robyn and Larry are officially divorced." Robyn brought up a weak smile again.

"You needed to tell me something?" she asked Alice. Alice couldn't meet her sister's eyes. In their happiness, in their sorrow, she couldn't.

"It's not too important," the younger sister lied.

"No, go on, tell me," Robyn insisted. Mr. Wordsworth bid them all goodbye and left. And Alice was left to face the one person she trusted the most—the person who trusted her most.

"Um," she didn't know how to begin. "Billie Joe—um, at Billie Joe's house..."

Tre saw where it was going and jumped in, "Alice burned Billie's hair before the party. When she was helping him decorate the house, right? Isn't that right, Alice? Don't lie; we all saw that you singed the tips," he forced a grin onto his lips. Robyn frowned.

"Tre. Let her speak." Robyn looked at her sister and Tre looked away.

Alice took a deep breath before speaking, "I—Billie, we... Billie... he..." she took another breath. "BillieJoecheatedonhiswifewithme."

Robyn's face contorted to something between confusion, amusement, and mistrust. "What do you mean? Sweetie, just talk slowly and calmly."

"I am!" Alice cried, "You have no idea how hard it is to tell you what I did, what I wanted to do!" she quieted slightly, "Please, just listen." Bit by bit, Alice narrated to Robyn everything that had happened, from that night at the after-concert party to the previous day afternoon in Billie Joe's front closet. Every tear shed over her guilty actions and every scream from her locked-away nightmares. The burden she'd carried for three months had finally come out in the open.

Robyn was speechless. She opened her mouth and moved her lips, but nothing came out. She simply stared at her little sister, her best friend, with a cold, hard expression filled with disappointment.

"Alice..." she trailed off. "Alice, this isn't like you. This isn't..." she couldn't find the words.

Tre rushed in to defend her. "It wasn't her fault Robyn. It wasn't Billie Joe's fault or her fault. They were drunk and tired and—Robyn, it really wasn't like that."

"Oh, so that makes it alright? Just because they were fucking drunk, it makes it all right for her to tramp around with a married man? Honestly, Tre, I can't believe you're this calm!"

"She didn't want to tell you like this, you know. You know why? Because she knew you'd be hurt and she knew that that would hurt her! I can't believe your little sister just poured out her deepest secret to you, and you're freaking out!"

"Don't tell me you're not surprised!"

"I was surprised! I was surprised that morning when I walked into Billie's room with a fucking hangover to find your little sister getting dressed! I'm surprised right now to find out that what's been going on the whole damn time! But I trust her and I trust Billie! This was all a mistake," Tre was on the verge of yelling.

Alice let out a small, indistinct noise, "I'm still here," she said trying to keep her voice as steady as possible and failing miserably. "And Tre, it wasn't all just a huge mistake. Yes, it was a mistake to try and hide from Ryan that night at the party. And it was a mistake to kiss Billie Joe that night, too. But it wasn't a mistake that I came drinking with you guys when I know damn well how I felt about him and I knew what I might do! It wasn't a mistake because I wanted to! It wasn't a mistake to sleep with a married man, because I wanted it and I did it on purpose! It was a mistake to let it fester inside me until I screamed every night, but it wasn't a mistake to kiss him while no one was looking! I did that because I felt that I should! It wasn't a mistake because it felt right! I shouldn't have gone out with Frank when I already felt something else for someone else, but I did! That was a mistake, but it wasn't a mistake that I kissed Billie Joe that day at Sam Ash! At least, I didn't feel like it was a mistake," Alice stopped to take a breath. Hoarsely, she said, "I like Frank...so much. And I could have had something with him... but it's all over...it's all over now."

Robyn was at a loss of action. Awkwardly, she put a comforting arm around Alice's shoulder, joined by Tre. She shrugged them off.

"Allie..." Robyn started, "Allie, it doesn't have to be over. Frank will—I'm sure he'll understand."

"Yeah, White Rabbit," Tre said soothingly, "He's a good guy. He'll take care of you, and he's got something strong for you."

Alice simply sobbed, "But I don't have anything for him. I don't have anything left, because it's all with someone else. Yesterday, too. I could have told him yesterday! Billie... in the closet... and..." she broke off into more tears. And she looked up at her sister and future brother-in-law, speaking only three words. "Please, call Frank."

Robyn handed her the phone and with trembling fingers, Alice dialed her boyfriend's number. It rang. She prayed that the power would get cut off, the telephone wires would die, his phone was out of batteries—she prayed for something, anything that would delay breaking Frank's heart.

He picked up. She cursed herself and her luck.

"Hello?" Frank's voice pierced right through her. Alice muffled a sob. Why did she bring this upon herself? "Hello? Alice?"

She took a deep breath and replied, "Yeah, Frank. I, um—I need to tell you something."

"Can it wait? I'm at work right now and Brad's putting me overtime. Hang on, a minute Al," Alice heard frustrated voices in the background as her heart pounded in her throat. She was tempted, so very tempted to say that it could wait. But it couldn't. "Yeah, sorry about that," Frank started talking again, "Seriously, I won't get out of this place for another three hours."

Alice swallowed her thoughts. "Please, Frank. I need you to come to my sister's house. Please. As soon as possible. Right now, even. I don't care! Just come over!"

"Come on, babe, the taco people are swamping me. Can't you just tell me right now?" Could she? No.

She insisted, "No, I can't tell you right now. Please, please, please!" she begged. "I want you here and I want to tell you something that can't wait because it's important and the longer I wait to tell you, the worse we'll both feel! So just leave stupid Taco Bell for a half an hour and come to Robyn's house! Now!"

Frank didn't reply for a few minutes. "It's about Billie Joe, isn't it?" he asked quietly. Alice's jaw dropped to the floor.

"How—how did you know?" she stuttered.

"Alice, I'm not stupid. Anyone with half a brain could have figured out what was going on. I liked you. I thought you would solve this on your own. I thought you would be mine," he spoke in a deadly whisper.

"I—"

"I'll talk to you when I get there." He hung up. That was it; he just hung up. Alice turned to face her family.

"He knows," she whimpered, and fell into Robyn's lap.