It Wasn't

They drove along for five minutes in silence. Alice was determinedly not looking at Mike, but blushing all the same. Finally, Mike broke through the unbearable quiet.

"My god, don't you talk when you're sober?" he looked at her to see that she was looking everywhere except towards him. He couldn't help but cock an eyebrow and conceal his smirk. "Why aren't you this shy towards Tre?" Alice turned slowly to look at him, but cast her eyes slightly down.

"You don't remember me, but I remember you." She sang softly. "We've met before. Eighteen times. And to me, you're still... the elite. Tre... Tre is my sister's boyfriend. He just pawed his way in, and I can accept that, because he's in love with my sister." She still wouldn't look directly at him. "You and Billie Joe, I still—". She broke off, unsure of what to say. "You're still the gods hanging on my bedroom wall." Alice's voice became quiet as she waited for Mike to laugh. He didn't.

"You know, you don't have to be like that. No, look at me Alice, Tre has become a part of your life, and Billie and I are part of the package. Stop acting like such a goddamn touch-me-not!" he was angry now. "Damn it, I'm tired of being treated like this. Can't make any friends, no one looks you in the eye, its frikkin' messed up!" he saw that she was shocked, scared almost. He quieted his voice and said softly, "Alice, be our friend, okay? We'll treat you the way anyone else would, and we expect you to treat us the same." He looked at her as he drove the car into the Starbucks parking lot. She nodded at him, looked him in the eye, and very slowly and very carefully, smiled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't... know. Hey, you want to meet Frank? He's really... interesting." She walked beside him and opened the door into the café.

"Sure. I'm up for scaring your date."

"Don't scare him! Just... be nice. You want me to get you some coffee?"

"Nah, I've done enough freeloading for one day." He laughed, and Alice laughed with him. She was forcing herself, bit by bit, but she could feel that she was indeed, making a friend. Billie, on the other hand, she knew a little too well. She felt herself burning up, still unable to forget what she did, and that it was wrong. But she knew that Mike didn't know. She heard Billie and Tre talking. Did something happen to Mike?

Alice cleared her mind for the moment and looked around for Frank. How would she find him in this sea of steam and people? She eliminated people and looked for a spiky black head. She found about five. She turned to the first one. Not Frank. The second one wasn't him either. The third and fourth were definitely not him. Alice was beginning to wonder if he was even here yet, when Mike came back to her.

"Coffee." He said, and took a gulp as though he'd never tasted the stuff before. "Hey," he pointed at someone, "That guy looks kind of like Billie. Look." Alice followed his finger towards where he was pointing. It was Frank!

"Mike, that's my date!" she said excitedly, and dragged him over. Frank looked like he was going to burst into tears out of boredom until Mike came over. Or maybe it was Alice. She hoped that she had something to do with him lifting his head with brighter eyes. But her hopes were quickly dashed when Frank stood up.

"Hey! You're the dude from Green Day!" he said in an audibly less bored voice. Mike shook his hand and smirked. "I love your music! Hey, uh, who sings for you guys?" At this, it seemed like everyone in the coffee shop was going to turn around and yell that it was Billie Joe Armstrong. Mike, on the other hand, simply looked surprised.

"Uh, it's Billie Joe Armstrong." He said. Frank looked impressed.

"They guitar dude? He has it all doesn't he? Although he totally stole my hair." Frank patted the crunchy mess of black sitting on his head. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you." He turned away from Mike, and hesitantly took Alice's hand. "Are you still up for that date?"

"I wouldn't have been here if I wasn't" Alice gave his hand a small squeeze, waved goodbye to Mike, and left Starbucks, hand in hand with a bored boy named Frank.

After watching a 5 o clock movie, they went to a small restaurant for dinner, and Alice could pay no attention to whatever the hell it was she was eating. She had asked him out as an escape and it happened like a fluke, but she could hardly keep her eyes off Frank. And maybe it was because her mind still drifted and dwelled on her act of adultery, but the more intently she gazed at Frank, the more she saw Billie. As she saw Billie in Frank, her mind went back to what Mike had said earlier. That guy looks like Billie. Was that why she ever asked him out at all? Alice wandered back to memories of old boyfriends. Every one of them, in some way or the other, did resemble Billie. They were all tweedy, not much taller than her, rebellious, musical, bright-eyed, and beautiful to her. But maybe that was just her type. Maybe it just had nothing to do with Billie at all. Who was she kidding?

"Alice? Alice?" Frank waved his hands in front of her face, bringing her crashing back to reality. "Spacing out?" he smiled at her. She smiled back.

"Yeah. I guess I do that a lot. You'll just have to learn to live with it. The way I learned to live with this... thing... . Is this supposed to be chicken?" The look on her face made Frank laugh.

"I think so." He paused to think, "Wait. If I have to learn to live with your daydreaming, does that mean we'll be going out again?"

"Maybe... I mean, it was kind of hard to decide whether to pay attention the to the boring movie or your wonderful commentary." She laughed. The waiter came by to ask if they needed anything else. "Just the check please" Alice said.

"Hey, you want me to get this?" Frank started fishing for his wallet.

"I think I got enough free food from you today." She started to reach for her purse, which Frank snatched out of her reach.

"I insist. So, how was your lunch?"

"Delicious. There's nothing more satisfying than eating the fruit of someone else's labor." She smacked her lips and rubbed her stomach, making Frank crack up. They spent the rest of the evening walking around and verbally abusing Brad the cashier.

Alice got back to her dormitory around ten o clock that night, only to find that she lost her key and her roommate wasn't opening the door. Doing the only thing she could, she went over to Robyn's house. After all, she would be with Tre tonight, so it wouldn't matter. Robyn never minded before when Alice had to use her apartment in situations like this. She took the 10:30 bus over to her sister's street and walked down a long pathway of apartment buildings until she found number 807. Using her spare key, she opened the door and walked up the stairs to 807F. She dug out another key and opened the door to something she had never had a desire to see and never wanted to see again.

"Tre... " Robyn whispered into her boyfriend's mouth as her arms trailed around his neck. Luckily for Alice, the happy couple was much too occupied to notice that Alice was blushing furiously and looking away. They didn't even know that she had come in.

"Ahem." Alice made an indistinct noise in her throat, hoping they would stop. They didn't. She tried again, louder this time. Becoming frustrated, as well as sleepy, she yelled as loud as she could muster in her current state, "HEY LOVEBIRDS!" The lovebirds turned around. Robyn blushed as deeply as Alice and Tre wore a sly grin on his face.

"So that's how you do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! I never knew!" he said, wrapping his arm around Robyn's waist and looking at her. He winked. She slapped him. "Ow! What was that for?" he put on a baby face. Robyn's expression softened, and she kissed him to "make it all better". Alice rolled her eyes and decided she had enough of this cutesy display. She went to the guestroom, where she always slept when she was over at Robyn's. After sneaking over into Robyn's room to borrow a pair of pajamas first, she crawled into the bed and closed her eyes to sleep. At least, that's what she would have done had her sister not tackled her onto the bed and demanded details.

"Well, what happened?" Robyn looked Alice in the eyes.

"What happened where?" Alice shot Robyn a look of venom.

"On your date! With Frank! What happened?"

"Nothing... I'm sleepy... "

"Does that mean you're worn out from being naughty with Frank?" a new voice joined the conversation. "We Franks are known for our sexual prowess!" he exclaimed, kissing Robyn on the neck.

"Shut up Tre" Alice swatted at him, "I seriously need sleep." Tre ignored her.

"Remember what we did after the White Rabbit left for her date? How'd you learn how to do that thing with your—" Thankfully for Alice, Tre never got to finish his sentence. Robyn put a hand over his mouth and dragged him away either to yell at him or take him back to her room so that they could actually do the thing with Robyn's blank. Either way, she didn't want to think about it. Shaking her head, she rolled over for a sleep punctuated with dreams.

"I... I love you... " she stammered. He looked back at her, the look in his eyes a mix of pity, hurt, hatred, fury, and loneliness. It was her fault, all her fault. The only woman he'd ever loved left him. But what about her? He was the only man she'd ever love. She said it again "I love you". She moved towards him and made to touch his hand, but he pulled away. He finally looked up and spoke.

"Shut up!" his lips barely moved, but the quiet noise he made seemed like a roar to her. "Shut up! Don't you ever say that you... you... " he couldn't bring himself to finish his words. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted someone else. There were two of them? No, it was someone else. She saw the anger etched on his stone-set face as his eyes shot arrows at her. What had she done? He walked away. She turned back to the first man. She pulled him to her; their breaths were touching. He stepped back.

"Don't even try." And he walked away. She screamed. Screams, shrieks, and cries of anger, confusion, frustration, and loss filled the air

"Allie... " a familiar voice said gently. This voice didn't matter, she went on screaming. "Allie... Allie... " She felt a stinging sensation, but couldn't stop her banshee shrieks; nothing could stop the pain. "Allie... " the voice became louder. "ALLIE! ALLIE! Wake up Allie! Allie! Stop!" She felt the stinging sensation again. She heard another voice, just as familiar, but couldn't understand what it was saying. Her screams were losing their strength and her voice was growing hoarse. A new feeling hit her, as though she were being doused with ice water...