I'm Not What You Think

"Stop saying that."
"But I don't know how to say it."
"So don't say anything then."
"Then stop giving me the same one all over again then I won't have to repeat myself."
He set his paper and looked at the list of words they had to go over.
"I don't get why you don't understand this."
"I hate math and to find that there are vocabulary words in them as well just sends me straight to boringville."
"Boringville?"
"Yes, the people there hate math as well and hate people who like math."
"So you hate me then?"
"Guess so, always room for my welcome wagon though." He shook his head and tapped the pencil against the table. The library at school was pretty empty save for six other students but they didn't care.
Jazzy looked at Jonathan and saw his look of concern.
"What's up Johnny boy? Care to say what's on your mind?"
"Thinking about college and wondering what you have planned....wondering what you are going to change?"
Jazzy was taken aback.
"College? Change what though, why is it that I have to change?"
"Because you keep acting like you don't care about anything when you know you do. Here you play your usual self but the minute we are alone you are someone else. Get a grip already because I can't keep reaching out if you wont fully grab my hand."
"I am, I have changed. You think the old me would sit here with you? Do you even think the old me would have been by your side at all?"
"No but the old you doesn't think nor does she care to socialize or plan ahead. You just don't care about anything."
"What do you want me to care about?"
"Care about yourself! My god you are so caught up with building walls around you that you don't even see what's in front of you majority of the time. The shit that knocks on your door for you to take you block out. It surprises me that you are even dating me." Jonathan grabbed his bag and walked out of the library.
Jazzy stood watching him as he passed by from the hallway.
"Nice move slut ruining every inch of that boys life for you simple pleasure who knew you could do that." Zoey patted Jazzy's shoulder and walked off laughing at the fiasco that took place.
How can I be so stupid? But is it really my fault I mean I thought I changed and he is telling me I haven't. I thought I did care about myself but since when I didn't? Ugh all these mind games are playing with me and I'm not sure if he broke up with me or not it sounded like it but then it could just be him mad. Am I that bad?

"Ms. Concorl it is time for you to go now class has ended." Jazzy saw the librarian looming over her so she put her papers in her bag and got up, slowly walking towards the hallway.
The late bell rang when she entered into the classroom, the room practically empty and the substitute teacher blindly passed out the papers to the empty seats.
Jazzy saw the empty seat next to Jonathan and made her way through.
"You can't sit there."
"Why not?"
"Sit down please."
Jazzy sat in the chair and looked at him.
"Why are you always mad at me?"
"I already told you why." He flipped his paper over looking at it only. Today's assignment was a crossword puzzle of nothing important.
"You can get mad whenever you want and it be okay but the moment I am mad then it becomes wrong? You know I care about stuff, especially you so why are you acting like this?"
"So I guess your sense of hearing went out the window as well huh?" He was fixed on his paper, never looking up at her as he spoke through his teeth.
"No need for the attitude Jonathan I feel it like a heat wave." She was transfixed on him, wanting him to look at her. She cared for him a lot more than she cared for herself and that scared her majority of the time.
He still did not look at her so this time she stood up and walked away from him.
"Where are you going?" The teacher asked as he saw her walk out the room. She walked down the hall and out the doors of the school to see someone sitting on the steps.
She ignored him as well as she walked past by him till this feeling of being watched settled on her skin. She felt her spine tingle as the sensation traveled up instead of down and the butterflies that lay within her stomach fluttered frantically.
Jazzy heard the footsteps as she tried to quicken her own pace and hoped that he was just going to his car.
He caught up to her and with that she jumped. Jazzy stopped walking hoping he would continue on. Instead he turned around and with that she looked at him fully. he was taller than her with broad shoulders that hunched as he walked closer to her. She looked into his eyes; his dark eyes that trapped her with no hope of escaping. His nose was slightly crooked to the left and his lips were thin on his tanned face.
"Take a walk with me." His voice was deep, straight from the belly.
Jazzy shook her head in reply.
"It wasn't a question." He grabbed her wrist pulling her along the parking lot. She figured class would be over soon. The kids will come out and fill this parking lot with their chatter and quickly empty it.
He took her to the end of the parking lot where his car was residing. he pushed her inside and got in as well. Reversing and pulling out of the lot he raced down the street.
"Where are we going?" He ignored her question as he continued to drive, locking the doors to make his statement.
She felt gone as they pass by home and shops. The fear in her belly taking up space.
"C-can you tell me where you are taking me?" He continued to ignore her and she knew she wasn't going to a nice place. She gripped her legs as her nerves fumbled. She wanted to lash out and attack. Jazzy commanded her body to move but had no reaction. She didn't want to cause an accident and she surely wanted to live. Jazzy couldn't move. She didn't recognize anything as they drove on so she closed her eyes hoping to erase this scene and counted.
Jazzy made it up to seventy when she heard his voice once more.
"I said get out of the car." She opened her eyes to see the door was open and he was in her path. His hands gripped her arms, tugging her from the car. He led her to the house, struggling to open the front door. She looked around to find no neighboring houses, even more to her dismay was the way the house was kept. Dust lay over every inch of space. He took her past the living room and the kitchen and immediately she knew where he was going.
"Please, please don't do this." He kept pulling her to the back of the house where the staircase lay.
"I-I beg of you please don't I have a boyfriend and a father. I can pay you." She felt the fear spread over her skin, her heart speeding in its tiny cage.
He laughed at her.
"First time I ever heard a whore say they will pay me." Her eyes widened and her feet kept stumbling. She began to tug her arm back and drag her feet. Her right hand stretched out in defense, punching his arm and pulling on hers. he hoisted her over his shoulder, claiming her. Jazzy kicked out her legs and punched his back as he climbed the stairs, her screams unheard. He made a right after the railing, entering the first bedroom seen. he threw her on the bed and turned to lock the door. Jazzy got off the bed running to the wall, trying to escape.
"Please don't."
She tried one last time. Her voice was shaky and scared and she knew she wouldn't take herself seriously.
He ran for her but she dodged as she leapt on the bed. She stumbled and fell hitting her right arm on the end table. Jazzy quickly recovered and ran for the door unlocking it. He was on her pushing the door closed and shoving her against the dresser. The corner jabbed her in the stomach causing her body to tense and bring tears to her eyes. He held her as he locked the door again.
His lips caressed her neck and shoulders while she shook in his arms. He swiveled and pushed her on the bed once more. Jazzy landed on the spring mattress, smelling the stale blankets and feeling the dust touch her face. She rolled onto her back while she held onto her stomach. The pain was brutal as It screamed along her body. Sweat coating her back, tears swimming on her face. He was on top of her in one swift motion. He grabbed her wrists pulling her arms above her head and holding them there. His brought his lips down to hers, tasting her soft lips, feeling her fear. He moved his mouth to her right ear.
"This is no different from what you are used to."
She whimpered as she bit down on her bottom lip till the taste of metal reached her tongue.

Night had fallen as Jonathan sat in the living room of the Concorl house. His father along with Jazzy's parents joined him. Jazzy's father paced back and forth, concern on his face.
"Moving around isn't going to bring her home so come and sit down."
His wife spoke to him but her words floated by.
He felt stubborn, hoping if he stood up he could welcome her home when she walked through the door. So he ignored his wife and went to the window peeking outside.. He checked his watch and read as it said 1:49 am.
"Are you sure you don't know where she is?"
"I-
"Well hold on my boy already told you what happened."
Her father nodded her head, apologizing to Jonathan. His nerves were shot dead and the only thought he had in his head was that she had died along with them.
He looked out the window once more to find a cab had pulled up in front of his house. A figure stepped out from the backseat, tripping over their feet and landing on the floor. The man driving had yelled as he opened his door.
Jazzy's father opened his door to rush outside, Jonathan and his dad followed along.
"You owe me thirty bucks for the ride lady and don't think you can just get a free ride. I will call the cops on your ass!"
Her father paid the man and shooed him away, wanting his daughter safely inside. He scooped up Jazzy and ran past Jonathan into the house and straight to her room. The rest had followed him.