I'm Not What You Think

"So that's it? You are finished with her and you didn't get to use her for what she is worth?"
Jonathan's nostrils flared up and his hands turned into fist.
"Relax okay, I'm just saying that if you were going to end it you might as well have went all the way."
Jonathan turned around and punched Marc in the face. He pulled back to punch him again.
"The next time you date someone that I don't approve of I will make sure to say some nasty shit about her."
"So he does have anger inside who fucking knew. Punching me over some girl who screwed someone else when she should of been screwing you is low. For you that is to the damn core low."
"Go to hell, you can go straight to hell because picking up your bullshit just because you want to be like the rest of them isn't my problem Marc."
Marc stood shocked. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that to fit in with those people who downgrade Jazzy you have to do the damn same. It's pathetic really that's what that is Marc."
"You know what I'm done with this. You lost her and you can lose me also because that's bullshit and you know it. She knew she wasn't supposed to date you, the whole school did. They laughed at you and I defended your lame ass." Marc left Jonathan standing on the grass. jonathan's father heard it all and waited till his son was left alone to handle it correctly.
"Come inside you'll get cold."
Jonathan turned around to see his father on the back porch looking out at him. He slowly walked to him while kicking the dogs chew toy.
The light in the kitchen left no shadows. His father dimmed it down a bit and took out a shot glass and a bottle of Jack Daniels.
"No."
"One shot that's all I'm giving you so don't worry."
"I don't need it."
His father gave him one look and motioned him to the chair.
"The shot is for the heat you will feel in your body. Take it in one stride and watch it go down. All that heat that goes down is your anger and you push it down."
"How does that help?"
"You don't get drunk and what ever you are feeling will just go away."
Jonathan looked skeptic, he didn't want his feelings to go away he wanted them harbored.
His father poured himself a shot as well and they drank it together. He than put the drink away and sat back down across from his son.
"This girlfriend of yours...the whole neighborhood knows of what kind of girl she is. Wait now don't give me that look it's just a small talk don't worry."
Jonathan slouched in his chair. He hiccuped and tried to feel the heat going down his body.
"She's a whore point blank dad. I should have known better, hell I did, but I didn't care. She cared and that was the problem."
"Not right to call a lady a whore I didn't teach you that."
"You've seen her, strolling by in the middle of night looking frazzled dad so stop. I just want this to stop because it was my foolish mistake."
"The girl sounded sorry."
"She should be." Jonathan stood up in anger throwing his chair away. The thought of pushing his feelings away left him. He couldn't control it.
"Then why are you mad if you expected this?"
Jonathan picked up the chair and sat back down in it. His head being held by his hands in comfort.
"I don't know."
"You have to apology for the way you talked to her, don't be sorry about your feelings but you shouldn't yell at a woman, it get's them all nervous."
Jonathan peeked through his fingers to look at his dad. His heart melting at the scolding burn of the drink.

School the next day was horrible. His only friend ignored him and his girlfriend didn't show up.
"What happened did the town whore run off?"
Jonathan shook his head as he continued down the hall to class. He held onto his bookbag for support.
"Couldn't give her enough so she had to look somewhere else?" One of the guys hit him in the back of the head. Marc stood and watched the show.
Jonathan tried to walk aagin but one of them blocked him. He was taller and his body stood out. His broad shoulders and lean back compared to scrawny arms and legs of Jonathan was a big comparison.
"Tell me how you could lose a whore like that in such a short amount of time?"
"How is it a guy like you could stay in school for so long?" Marc had laughed in the background but no one found it funny.
"Punch 'em Greg."
Greg smirked and grabbed Jonathan's shirt yanking him off the floor. He threw him against the locker and waited to see what he would do.
Jonathan recovered and took off his bookbag, he put up his fist to block his face.
"Oh you plan on fighting back?"
"Why does every sentence that comes out your mouth have to be a damn question? You must have been left back then, how old are you twenty five?"
"Greg cut it out." Jazzy cut through the crowd and shoved back Greg.
"Oh so the town slut is still alive. Where did you go to a nudist convention?" His friends laughed at his mild attempt to be funny but she stood there with annoyance written on her face.
"Matter of fact I was there and your parents told me to tell you I said hello. Your father was quite the charmer." She winked at him and saw the rage splash against his eyes. Before he had a chance to do anything a teacher came out her room and questioned why they were still standing there.
When they all disappeared except for Jonathan and Jazzy he had picked up his bookbag and walked away.
She followed.
"What no thank you?"
He remained quiet.
She put her hand on his arm to stop him but it didn't work.
"I want to tell you what happened...why I did it at least."
He swung around facing her now.
"You don't need to explain anymore. We are done and your little show of bravado here was nothing more than an act. Continue living how you were before I came into your life."
"That's the thing Jonathan I just wanted-
"Save it for someone who wants to listen to it now." He walked to class while she stood watching him leave.

After school Jonathan walked to his car when he saw the note left trapped under the windshield wiper.
Nice comment today...so over yesterday I forgive ya. See ya tonight.
He smiled at the note and put it in his pocket. When he opened the door to his car and sat in Jazzy ran to his window.
He refused to look at her.
"Please open the window." Her mind was racing and she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to be with him at least she thought she didn't.
Her face showed her confusion so he rolled down the window.
"Please let me explain. You don't have to answer me or anything just listen to me really quickly...I just need you to listen to me."
He sighed and look at her again.
"I didn't know what I was thinking so when I did it I felt the freedom. I felt the emptiness being filled up. I thought we were over Johnny...I just thought that and it was a mistake and I didn't mean it. Can you believe me when I say that?"
She reached her hand out to touch his neck. He didn't move but didn't reply.
"Can you believe that?"
"I don't know."
"I can take that." He took her hand and looked at her nails.
"Bit them last night...was thinking to much" She crouched down so she was eye to eye with him.
"Are we going to continue dating? Prove them wrong Jazzy, I'm not asking you to marry me just to date me. Are you able to do that?"
She nodded her head and went inside the car. Jazzy felt better but that hole in her soul still felt open.