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Hello Angel, Tell Me Where Are You. Tell Me Where We Go From Here.
Why Can't I Just Get It Right?
Patrick’s POV:
The cool breeze of an early winter morning in New York, gushed through the tour bus’s window, hitting me smack in the face. I shivered again, probably the 100th time in the 2 hours I had been awake.
Why was I up at 4:30 in the morning? My boyfriend, Brendon Urie, was sleeping in the recliner across from me and I had promised him I wouldn’t leave him alone in the dark all night. Yep, he has nyctophobia. I yawned then looked at him. He, Pete Wentz, and Spencer Smith had gone out for drinks last night after Panic! at the Disco’s sold out concert. And when Pete returned to our tour bus, Brendon had come with him, afraid of Ryan’s “where have you been” speech. So, I let him crash here. And I had stayed awake all night.
I stood up and walked over to the fridge and grabbed a Diet Coke. I closed the fridge and went to sit back down. As I sat back down, I saw Brendon shift in the recliner. I stayed still for a couple seconds, afraid of him waking up after having a heavy night. I sighed when he was still, other than the slight movements of his chest, indicating his being alive. I sat, sipping away at the bubbly beverage in my hands, for about 10 minutes, in the silence and the cold.
After those ten lonely minutes, Brendon groaned. I looked up at him and he was sitting straight up and looking at me.
“Hi.” I said.
He smiled his priceless smile and said, “Hello.”
I looked down at my hands and blushed. When I looked back up, he was staring at the Coke in my hands.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Here.” I said, and passed the half-empty soda can to Brendon. He completely downed it in about half a minute. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Then he burped. I laughed and he smiled. He always makes me laugh.
Brendon stood up finally, and stretched, then walked over and sat down next to me on the couch. I looked down at my hands, but, using my peripherals, I could see that he was staring at me. I eventually looked up at him and smiled. He leaned over to me and pecked me on the cheek. I smiled again, then looked back down at my hands.
We had been together for about a month now, but I was still pretty shy around him. I guess you could say I was the girl in the relationship. For now. I planned to become more outgoing with Brendon. Hey, maybe I could start now…
I put my arm around his waist the best I could with the way we were sitting. He looked up at me with angry eyes.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice very defensive.
“I-I-I’m sorry.” I apologized, sincerely, removing my arm from his body.
“Don’t even think about doing that again…” Brendon said, getting angrier by the second. I looked down at my hands again.
“I-I-I’m sorry. I-I-I won’t.” I told him, uneasily.
He scoffed and got up and stormed out of the bus.
Maybe I should just give up on love…, I thought. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face in the little space in between them. And silently let the tears fall.
xxx
The cool breeze of an early winter morning in New York, gushed through the tour bus’s window, hitting me smack in the face. I shivered again, probably the 100th time in the 2 hours I had been awake.
Why was I up at 4:30 in the morning? My boyfriend, Brendon Urie, was sleeping in the recliner across from me and I had promised him I wouldn’t leave him alone in the dark all night. Yep, he has nyctophobia. I yawned then looked at him. He, Pete Wentz, and Spencer Smith had gone out for drinks last night after Panic! at the Disco’s sold out concert. And when Pete returned to our tour bus, Brendon had come with him, afraid of Ryan’s “where have you been” speech. So, I let him crash here. And I had stayed awake all night.
I stood up and walked over to the fridge and grabbed a Diet Coke. I closed the fridge and went to sit back down. As I sat back down, I saw Brendon shift in the recliner. I stayed still for a couple seconds, afraid of him waking up after having a heavy night. I sighed when he was still, other than the slight movements of his chest, indicating his being alive. I sat, sipping away at the bubbly beverage in my hands, for about 10 minutes, in the silence and the cold.
After those ten lonely minutes, Brendon groaned. I looked up at him and he was sitting straight up and looking at me.
“Hi.” I said.
He smiled his priceless smile and said, “Hello.”
I looked down at my hands and blushed. When I looked back up, he was staring at the Coke in my hands.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Here.” I said, and passed the half-empty soda can to Brendon. He completely downed it in about half a minute. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Then he burped. I laughed and he smiled. He always makes me laugh.
Brendon stood up finally, and stretched, then walked over and sat down next to me on the couch. I looked down at my hands, but, using my peripherals, I could see that he was staring at me. I eventually looked up at him and smiled. He leaned over to me and pecked me on the cheek. I smiled again, then looked back down at my hands.
We had been together for about a month now, but I was still pretty shy around him. I guess you could say I was the girl in the relationship. For now. I planned to become more outgoing with Brendon. Hey, maybe I could start now…
I put my arm around his waist the best I could with the way we were sitting. He looked up at me with angry eyes.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice very defensive.
“I-I-I’m sorry.” I apologized, sincerely, removing my arm from his body.
“Don’t even think about doing that again…” Brendon said, getting angrier by the second. I looked down at my hands again.
“I-I-I’m sorry. I-I-I won’t.” I told him, uneasily.
He scoffed and got up and stormed out of the bus.
Maybe I should just give up on love…, I thought. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face in the little space in between them. And silently let the tears fall.
xxx