Three Words to Remember

Jack’s heart was racing. He focused all his attention on his breathing, trying to regulate it but he was having great difficulty doing so. He was laying on his back in nothing more than a plain white wife-beater and his grey boxers clinging tightly around his slender hips. The gentle light of the moon peered in through the gaps in the thin drapes cascading shadows across the room to where his body lay. Jack’s body was not alone in the room. The boy lay curled up mere feet away from him held an aura of innocence around him but at the same time, he was Jack’s worst nightmare. He ran his long fingers through his thick multicoloured hair as he stared up to the ceiling. What was happening to him?

Jack Barakat seemed a typical testosterone driven boy. He was seventeen years old, single, definitely not a virgin. He was part of a band whose name was widely spread amongst the citizens in Baltimore and was growing to different parts of the state like a troublesome rumour with every breath they took. Jack was a ladies’ man. Even before he was associated with an instrument he had girls undressing him with their eyes, or if they were lucky enough, undressing him in reality. Typical of a boy with such choice he would take his pick from the selection and use it to his advantage. However at the same time he would never treat a girl badly. Despite his dodgy reputation he chose the girls he did because his relationships he had were mere fun and he assumed the girl he chose for his prey knew she wouldn’t marry the boy she spent various nights with. He could take care in a girl’s personality when he was looking for his true mate.

As mentioned before, Jack’s relationships were far from serious. So it was understandable that he would panic in such a way after discovering there was a possibility he was in love at such a tender age. It was even more of a panic when Jack realised that as well as being in love he must also be bisexual.

Alex Gaskarth was just like Jack in every sense; they were almost clones of each other. Alex was popular amongst a large group of both genders and many from this group aspired to either be him or date him. He had overwhelming charm that would mean as soon as he left his latest girlfriend he would hold auditions for his next and just like Jack, Alex made it clear that these girls were just some fun while they lasted. He knew exactly what people wanted whether they knew it themselves or not. This is what left Jack in a cold sweat as it approached two thirty in the morning.

Jack tilted his head, finally breaking his cold staring contest with the roof above him. If it weren’t for that gentle milky glow bouncing off the corners in the room Jack would have been blind. He blinked a few times, ignoring the small pain he got from keeping his eyes dehydrated for so long before settling his gaze on his arm closest to the edge of the sofa. His pale skin was illuminated and covered in goose-bumps as he examined it. He brought up his other hand from beneath the dark blanket that gathered below his waist and ran his finger tips along the ridged surface. The small tingling sensation he got from the slight contact was familiar to that in the pit of his stomach that hadn’t ceased since these thoughts had plagued his mind.

Jack let his hand go limp, falling back into place beneath the cover as his eyes stayed weakly on his skin. Ever so slightly his gaze inched up. With every new centimetre approaching in his peripheral vision he felt a bead of sweat building on his forehead and another hair on the back of his neck begin to stand on end. Further away from him his eyes focused on the glass coffee table pushed to the side of Rian’s living room so more space could be made. Traces of popcorn lined the floor and empty beer cans were crushed and scattered on various parts of the white carpet. Jack smiled to himself; he could almost picture the bored expression on Rian’s face when his mother scolded him for the poor state of her floor; how his eyes would roll as he stared at her blankly. Biting down on his lip to suppress the chuckle rippling in the back of his throat Jack momentarily ignored the adrenaline pumping throughout him. He shook his head lightly before his eyes finally fixed on the figure beneath the blanket. His natural brown hair cascaded gracefully across his forehead. His face was totally blank from any expression, his eyes loosely shut and his lips slightly parted. Jack had never looked at Alex so closely before.

Earlier that night Jack and Alex’s band had graced the stage of Dulaney High School’s dance. Every entrant of the talent show had a performance slot at the dance and the band was more than happy to take it up. Naturally, everyone supported them. They had to, if they disapproved of the boys before them that would be their social life down the drain. But the boys weren’t bad, no, not at all. In fact they had large amounts of potential and their cover of ‘Time to Break Up’ by their joint favorite band went down a storm. The guys spent most of the night either cheering their friends on or holding back their girlfriends when the green eyed monster kicked in. All the girls batted their eyelashes and giggled whenever a boy shot a glance in their direction.

Alex noticed this. He noticed everything. As he locked eyes with various girls he’d smirk or wink in their direction just to please. As mentioned before, he knew what they wanted. At the same time, Alex knew what he wanted. Every now and then throughout the song Alex would steal a glance at Jack. His thin figure would move freely along with the music they played. His eyes would shut and he’d lose himself in the moment. His hair would fall a little off his face when he threw his head back. Everything he did mesmerised Alex. At this point he’d shake his head and refocus on the crowd before he lost the line he was up to. Despite how frequent his small lapses were becoming Alex was yet to be caught out. So he thought.

Zack and Rian had noticed a few times when trying to grab Alex’s attention they would find it a difficulty. He seemed to almost glare into the side of Jack’s head, trying to drill into his brain using nothing more than his eyes and completely focussing himself to do so. That night was no exception. Rian had looked up at various points during the night to view his audience but instead found Alex staring absently at Jack. Alex was lost. His attraction to Jack was growing involuntarily stronger every day. Yes, attraction. Alex had a crush on his best friend, his male best friend. Alex knew it was unhealthy, some may say wrong to be so devoted to spending time with one person but something about Jack just kept pulling Alex back.

Rian had watched as Alex sung line of the song. Girls were squealing. Everyone clapped and cheered and Alex was once again transfixed on Jack. Zack continued to strike the strings upon his bass, Rian continued to fill on the kit before him and Jack effortlessly strummed the ending chord. Jack was too absorbed in the music to notice Alex’s staring. He was too absorbed to noticed Alex pacing the stage towards him, too absorbed to feel the hand snaking its way around the back of his neck. It was only when Alex pushed his lips to Jack’s that stopped. He was vaguely aware of the screaming of the females and harmless chuckles from the guys somewhere in the back of his mind. Alex’s eyes were closed, his moist lips moved against Jack’s with only a slight sense of urgency. For some reason Jack responded to his motion quickly. As Alex’s fingers wound themselves in the short hair at the back of Jack’s head the guitars separating them gently banged against each other sending shudders down Jack’s spine.

It wasn’t until Alex pulled away from him that Jack had a chance to gather his thoughts. He stared at Alex wide-eyed as he moved away from him, walking to the opposite side of the stage without a single glance backwards. Turning to look at the crowd he saw approving looks from the girls. His hearing was coming back, allowing him to hear the hushed words between each of the girls all focussing on what they had just witnessed being “so hot” but he didn’t care. Instead he turned to his band members. Both Rian and Zack were from behind their instruments, staring at Jack in exactly the same way he had stared at Alex.

Jack shook his head, snapping himself from his thoughtless daze. He slipped his thumb beneath the strap of his guitar and pushed upwards, removing the instrument. Grabbing the neck he almost rampaged from the stage. Rian and Zack followed frantically exchanging hushed words as they kept a safe distance from their friends. Jack stopped, trying to find Alex in the crowded gym hall but his eyes couldn’t seek him out. Jack needed to speak to Alex. He needed an explanation for what had just happened. Jack needed to know why he had responded to Alex so quickly. Was Alex mad at him? Thousands of questions were running through his mind but the most important one he wasn’t sure he could get an answer to. Why was he disappointed when Alex stopped? He sighed in defeat, dropping the guitar in the rack against the wall before turning to see his remaining band mates. No one spoke another word about the kiss.

“Jack?” Jack was snapped from his thoughts instantly, not by the sound of his name, but by the person who spoke it. Turning his head Jack’s eyes instantly met with the chocolate colour of Alex’s. Even in the darkest hour Jack could see the dazzling shine to them. “Are you alright?” He asked in a voice so soft it made Jack melt. Quickly gathering his breath Jack responded with a simple nod of his head, not trusting himself to speak. “Are you sure? You look kind of sick,” Alex asked gently. Jack nodded again.

“Yeah I’m just,” he paused thinking of a way to answer that statement. “I-I had a nightmare,” he stammered. Alex’s eyes filled with sympathy. At least he believed him. Alex pushed the covers away from his shoulders before sitting himself up. Jack froze instantly. Alex was oblivious, moving closer. Jack watched as Alex crossed the room, kneeling down beside him. Alex tilted his head as he examined Jack’s condition. Biting down on his lip Alex brought a large hand slowly to Jack’s forehead. He smoothed the wet strands of hair from his skin, pushing it back and tucking it behind his ear before lightly pressing the back of his hand to his face.

“Jack,” Alex began barely above a whisper. “You’re freezing,” he stated before pulling his hand back. Jack took in a sharp breath as he stared at Alex. Alex frowned as he bit down harder on his lip.

“Alex,” Jack whispered as he continued to stare at Alex.

“Yeah Jack?” Alex responded just as quietly. Jack silently searched Alex’s eyes, not sure whether he wanted to continue with his request until he saw the warmth behind his pupils. Alex waited patiently for Jack’s reply, not wanting to push him in case he really was sick. From the way he was acting he didn’t want to risk anything.

“Can... Can I stay with you the rest of the night?” He asked. Alex’s eyebrows rose slightly at his request. A small genuine smile broke out onto Alex’s features. To his understanding Jack merely wanted a security blanket because of the dream he’d had, what he didn’t understand that he was the nightmare Jack had spoke of. In reality Jack wanted to test his feelings, he wanted to understand what he was feeling better. Alex didn’t respond in words, instead he allowed his fingers to gently wind around Jack’s wrist and tug lightly as he took to his feet. Responding to Alex’s silent command Jack took to his feet. Alex turned, pushing the sheets he had carelessly discarded back before taking his place at the far end. Jack shifted uneasily between his feet as Alex lay on his back, arms raised and resting behind his head. Jack dropped to his knees with a slight thud before taking his place. Alex sat up slightly, grabbing the edge of the sheets before swinging them up above both boys’ shoulders. Jack sunk down further into the covers, turning on his side and looking at Alex from beneath his lashes.

Alex’s expression was unreadable to Jack. It was a mixture between thoughtful and content. His hair, although typically messy hung just above his left eye. His eyebrows were slightly knitted together, so slightly that only someone as close as Jack could notice. His light pink lips were turned upwards at the corners. Jack was so absorbed in taking in every one of Alex’s details that he was now shamelessly letting his eyes roam his face. It wasn’t until Alex rolled to his side, pulling his arms from behind his head that he noticed he was staring. Even in the darkness of the room Alex noticed the pink tinge prominent in Jack’s cheeks. He smiled, moving closer to him before shutting his eyes. Despite being caught Jack continued to watch Alex. He watched as he nuzzled the side of his face into the pillow beneath him. He watched how his nose scrunched up slightly when he did this, how adorable he looked.

Alex could feel Jack’s eyes on him, and although he would never admit it, it made his chest flutter a little. Although Alex couldn’t help but feel he was staring for the wrong reasons. He began to silently panic as his thoughts swallowed him. He was almost certain Jack thought he was a freak. He began to wonder if Jack would ever speak to him again after the sunrise. He couldn’t keep beating around what had happened, it was uncalled for and the sooner he spoke to Jack about it the less grovelling he would have to do later. With a sigh he reopened his eyes to look straight into those of Jack.

“Jack, you don’t feel weird about me do you, after everything?” He asked with pleading eyes. Jack’s eyebrows rose. If anything Jack wanted to ask Alex that exact question, in all honesty he didn’t know where he stood. Alex watched as Jack gaped at him, jaw open and eyes flickering between his. He began to grow anxious when Jack didn’t speak. He bit down on his lip, a blush finding its way onto his face which he hid by turning his attention elsewhere. Jack watched as Alex shifted nervously. Anxiety rolled in waves off of him and sent strong chills down Jack’s spine. Jack was trapped in the innocence Alex captured at that moment in time, unable to form audible words as instead he simply shook his head. Alex visibly relaxed in the dull light. His eyes shut and he let a soft breath pass him lips as he whispered a breathy “good”. However, Jack continued to stare. Alex simply looked back, smiling at the younger boy. Something about Alex bringing up the situation made Jack think. His reaction made his wonder, what if Alex thought the same as him? At the same time the small nagging voice in the back of Jack’s head told him he could never feel the same way. As far as Jack was concerned Alex was completely heterosexual and what had happened on stage was purely for the sake of the audience. What Jack didn’t consider was the fact that just maybe he was the only boy with this effect on Alex.

“Alex?” Jack asked for the second time since they’d bother discovered each other’s conscious state.

“Yeah Jack?” Alex relied contently. What happened next: neither boy expected. Alex continued to let his glance flicker between the mahogany seas of Jack’s eyes. Said boy blinked from beneath his lashes, trying to disguise his subtle glance down at his Alex’s lips. However once the parted waves of light pink came into his sight he dropped all subtly. Alex noticed Jack’s shameless stare upon the lower half of his face and felt something inside him fluttering, sending the blood galloping through his veins. Alex observed Jack before dropping his own eyes to Jack’s lips. He pushed himself up lightly on his elbows carefully but his eyes never shifted. Jack lifted a hand, bringing it forwards he took Alex’s cheek into his palm. The feeling made Jack’s fingertips tingle; the smooth skin of his face was welcoming to Jack, even the short stubble beginning to surface prickled his fingers in the most pleasant manner.

Leaning forward the voice Jack chose to ignore in the back of his mind told him this was it: there was no turning back now. Alex’s eyes carefully fluttered shut as Jack continued to close the distance. As Alex’s lips parted further the smooth white tips of his front teeth were exposed to Jack. It only took a few more millimetres before Jack’s eyes also closed. Alex grew impatient, longing for the feeling of Jack’s lips on his once again. As a result of this he shifted his weight to one elbow, using his other hand to freely wind around the back of Jack’s neck and weave his fingers through Jack’s hair. Finally their lips met. The moist surfaces of their mouths instantly locked together and sparks ignited behind their eyes. Slowly at first, their lips moved in synchronization with each other. As Alex’s fingers wove themselves further around the short strands of hair around the back of Jack’s neck both of them became lost in their own world. Subconsciously Jack’s hand dropped from Alex’s face to grip to his waist. As their lips briefly parted with a small ‘smack’ they met once again with twice as much force.

Alex falls backward, bringing up his other hand to cup Jack’s face in his warm palm. As Alex moves the tip of Jack’s thumb slips beneath the lining of Alex’s wife-beater and makes the older boy visibly shudder at his cold touch. Both boys emit low breaths between their contact each time their lips meet even greater urgency is exchanged between the two and neither of them are thinking straight. That is until Jack’s little voice starts screaming.

Jack pulls away from Alex, wide-eyed in utter fear. The voice continues to scream at him as Alex looks back in confusion. Alex’s eyebrows furrow and the look in his eyes is enough to crush Jack, Jack can only see pure hurt. As if the scene had a rewind button Jack removed his hand from Alex’s torso causing Alex’s to untangle from Jack’s hair and fall limply by his sides. Jack takes to his feet, moving backwards the whole time. Alex watched it pure confusion as Jack moved further and further away from him. Turning, the younger of the two made a quick dash towards Rian’s bathroom. As he entered he quickly shut the door and locked it with frantic hands. Turning around Jack gripped the porcelain basin of the sink and stared down at the faucet. He slowly brought his gaze up to look at himself in the mirror hiding the medicine cabinet. As scared as he was to admit it the voice continued to scream its conclusion in the back of his mind causing a dull migraine to throb in the back of his head. As scared as he was to admit it, Jack Barakat was head over heels in love with Alex.

What Jack didn’t know was that Alex was still staring at the spot he had seen Jack disappear from. Thoughts were racing through his mind trying to find an answer for Jack’s actions but he couldn’t decide on a single explanation. The strange tingling feeling making its way up to Alex’s eyes caused water to form in his tear ducts. Alex had never cried over a girl before, for they were simply a bit of fun. However Alex had to try his hardest to fight these tears. Alex had never felt such a strong feeling aching in the pit of his chest as he did right then. He had never experienced such a flush for any reason before but he knew exactly why. Alex Gaskarth was head over heels in love with Jack.