Everything I Do Is Empty Without You

Sitting on Jack’s lap with my arms wrapped around his neck loosely, I eyed the handsome man that is obviously my brother’s boyfriend and has been for a while now. Looking back at me with honey brown eyes, Heath shifted uncomfortably in his spot on the couch before clearing his throat, “So, you two are married?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I confirmed bluntly, not really wanting to talk about myself but wanting to talk about him and my brother being together and how they’ve managed to keep it a huge secret all these years.

With a loud sigh, Jack leaned his head against my chest, nuzzling his head against me to get comfortable before he completely relaxed. Looking down at him, all I could see was the top of his head but I knew for a fact that he had his gorgeous brown eyes closed peacefully. Pushing his hair back, I leaned down and kissed the top of his forehead lightly before letting his hair fall back down into place.

Turning my attention back to Heath, I raised one eyebrow but stayed silent once again.

“Where did you two meet?” He questioned, “You guys seem a little young to be getting married.”

“Elementary school,” I answered, “Jack was my best friend and guardian angel.” I whispered.

Jack huffed at the last bit but chose to keep his mouth shut and not comment on it. Heath smiled a stupid lovesick grin before tilting his head to the side, “JJ is lucky to have parents like you.”

“Justin Jon isn’t mine,” Jack mumbled before lifting his head up, “I got to go pee.” He informed me.

Rolling my eyes, I slid off of his lap and onto the couch before watching him stand up and leave the living room.

“So you two haven’t been together long?” Heath went on.

“We’ve been on and off since Jr. High.” I informed him, “I have a troubled past, Jack and I got into a fight, I pushed him away and slept with one of his best friends to get back at him. During the twenty minutes I was with his friend, I conceived JJ.” I shrugged, “I wouldn’t change a single thing if I had to do it all over again. I love JJ, he’s perfect just the way he is and he has two amazing Father’s and Uncle’s that would do anything for him,” I licked my lips, “So, you and my Brother?” I asked.

He nodded slowly, “Yeah.”

“How did you two manage that?” I asked.

He laughed nervously then shrugged, “I met him through a mutual friend, one thing led to another and the rest is history. I understood why he was with Kayla, to ‘pretend’ but I knew that one day it would all come out in the open.”

“So you’re openly gay?” I asked slowly.

“Yes, I have been since my freshman year of college.” He answered then he turned his eyes to my Husband who was walking back into the room, looking completely hung over but in reality he’s just physically exhausted from the two of us going at it like rabbits, making up for the last four years and trying to conceive a child.

“I’m hungry,” He announced, “What are we doing for dinner?” Jack went on, “Do you want me to call for a pizza?”

“I don’t know if Joel had any plans for dinner.” I mumbled.

“They went to a ball game, they wont be back in time for dinner and I’m not waiting around for them either.” He frowned deeply, “JJ is with Rian for the night, they went into the city to the zoo, we’re stuck here with nothing to eat.” He snapped, being a bit moody.

“Cook something.”

“Like I can fuckin’ cook,” Jack grumbled before flopping down onto the couch.

“Actually, I’m a chef,” Heath informed us with a gentle smile, “If you want, I can make something … there’s chicken in there.” He added.

“Please,” Jack nodded.

“No,” I frowned at my husband then over at Heath, “You don’t have to cook for my lazy husband,” I nodded a little, “He can make a box of mac and cheese if he’s so hungry.” I shot Jack a glare then looked back at Heath, “You’re moving in, there’s no sense in you taking time away from that to cook for us.”

“So he has time to chit chat with you?” Jack laughed then shook his head, “Oh, Kodie…” He sighed before reaching forward to the coffee table, grabbing the remote, “Call for a pizza then.”

I rolled my eyes, “You’re being an asshole.”

“I’m hungry, I’m sleep deprived and I’ve had more sex than my body can handle, I just want to hang out and relax, possibly even cuddle with you if you can stop being bitchy.”

I frowned, “I’m not bitchy,” I whispered sadly.

Ignoring me, Jack started to flip through the channel guide without a single word. “Really, I don’t mind,” Heath assured me as he stood up, “I personally hate moving, so I’ll just whip something up for dinner, I’ll have Joel bring the boxes in when he gets home,” He laughed teasingly, “He’s better at it than I am anyway.”

Raising my eyebrows as I watched him leave the living room and enter the kitchen, I just shook my head a little bit before glancing over at Jack, “Babe?”

“What?” He sighed stressfully.

“Do you want to leave?”

“No, I want you to loosen the fuck up,” He looked over at me, “Stop playing twenty questions with the man, he’s in love with your brother, get over it. You’ll get to know him over time, just like he’ll get to know you. Give him some time to adjust and if the man wants to cook dinner, don’t argue with him, I’m starving.”

I forced a smile, “Are you really sick of sex?” I whispered.

There was a long pause before he shrugged his shoulders, “Right now, I don’t think I’m physically capable of getting hard,” He let out a playful laugh, “But tonight, I think I could handle something slow.”

“Good,” I whispered before laying down with him, “I’ve missed you like crazy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed, “Four years is a long time, and let’s just say, you’ve changed since then and it’s definitely for the better.”

“Well, you’ve changed too.” He laughed as he wrapped his slender arms around me tightly, “I love you,” He whispered as he rubbed my back with both hands.

“I love you, too.” I replied quietly.

As the two of us fell quiet, I listened to the steady pounding of Jack’s heart while his breathing became slow and predictable, meaning he’s fallen asleep. Carefully, I got up off of the couch then covered Jack up with the fleece throw that we keep on the back of the couch. Once he was covered, I left the living room for the kitchen.

Silently, I made my way to the stool at the counter and sat down. Watching Heath as he prepared the raw chicken, I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking, “I’m sorry if I’m hounding you.”

Heath looked over at me and smiled, “It’s ok, Joel hasn’t told me a lot about you, because you’re a sensitive subject with him but he definitely told me you’re a little bit nosey and can be pushy at times.” He chuckled to himself before shrugging his shoulders, “He has this huge need to protect you, like any older brother would, but I think it’s more of a need for him because of your past.” He cleared his throat, “Which I’m not so clear on.” He mumbled softly.

I bit my lip, “I’m adopted,” I started, “Um, when I was little girl I was born into a family that didn’t want me, I was an accident and I saw a lot of bad things. Drugs and booze were involved a lot, as well as violence, my Father shot his brother, the only person who really raised me when I was a toddler and a baby, the only one with a head on his shoulders. I saw it all happen, then I was put into the system, bounced around a lot. Foster parents used to hit me, treat me like shit then I met the Cryer’s when I was thirteen, they changed my life. They adopted me and never looked back. I was broken, my brothers like to joke around and just say I’m complicated but truth be known I really was broken.”

Heath gave me a sad look but said nothing.

“Before the Cryer’s, Jack was all I had. In kindergarten, he was the little boy who took a chance on the little girl who wouldn’t talk to anyone. He was so determined to be my best friend then when we got older, our friendship turned into what it is now.” I shrugged, “He’s still my best friend but he’s also my Husband.”

“Joel never told me any of this.”

“Joel,” I started, “Joel is like Dad,” I insisted, “Dad won’t talk about my past either, I think it hurts them more than my other two brothers, I think they think they should’ve found me earlier, it upsets them and Dad always says that if he knew my real Father before he took his life, he would taken his life for him for the things he put me through.”

“Daddy’s little girl,” Heath smiled.

I nodded as I pictured my handsome Father in my head, “Yeah, Coach Cryer,” I laughed a little then it died, “I miss him a lot, I miss our Mom a lot too.”

“They sound great.”

“They are,” I agreed, “They’d love you,” I assured, “As long as you can throw a football decently, you’ll fit right in.” I laughed then I slowly stood to my feet, “Our Dad really isnt as intimidating as everyone makes him out to be, he has a heart of gold and he is the biggest teddy bear ever.”

“I hope you’re right.” Heath mumbled then fell silent as he went back to cooking. I bit my lip then left the room and went back into the living room. Lying myself down next to Jack, I snuggled into him closely as I thought about everything that’s going on and how I wish everything would just die down so I can finally enjoy my new found happiness but until my Father knows about Joel and I become pregnant, I don’t think my stress levels will lower one ounce.