Everything I Do Is Empty Without You

“Oh, little man …” My Dad said softly as I walked through the front door of my parents house, “Look at you,” He muttered before taking JJ from my arms.

Without a single word said, JJ just laid his head against my Father’s shoulder and closed his eyes, letting himself relax seeing as how he can’t stand airplanes and he was completely freaked out the entire ride over from San Francisco.

“Hey Honey,” He greeted as he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Hi, Daddy,” I whispered back before I turned around towards the front door and shut it.

“Where’s Jack?”

“Oh, he went to his parents house,” I answered, “He needs some quiet time before we head out and look for an apartment or a small house,” I went on, “The movers will be here the day after tomorrow, so we need to get started.”

He nodded his head a little bit, “Trent called and told me what happened.”

I turned away from my Father as I slowly dropped my bags that held a few changes of clothes for both myself and JJ. Not knowing what to say to my Father, I shrugged a little bit and changed the subject, “Where’s Ma?” I wondered.

“She went to go pick up dinner.” He answered.

“What about Jordan?”

“He’s at an evening class, he should be home pretty soon.” He paused, “Kodie, do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what, how Joel completely fucked my husband up?” I frowned, “Dad, no I don’t want to talk about it, there’s nothing to talk about.”

My Father inhaled deeply then nodded a little, “Kodie, I’m not going to say what Joel did was right because it wasn’t but have you thought about side of everything? He’s stressed out and everything in his life is changing too.”

“That gave him no right to do what he did to Jack,” I shook my head, “Violence is unacceptable in my eyes, Dad. He lost his temper with Jack when the only thing Jack was doing was talking to him, what if one day he loses his temper with JJ or me or he gets mad at Jack again? Jack is lucky that Trent came over when he did because if Trent decided to flake out like he always does, I don’t know what Jack would look like right now or if he’d even be alive.”

Not saying a single word, my Dad just nodded his head before he walked over to the couch and sat down with JJ.

“I love him, Dad.” I whispered, “I really do but it’s going to take a hell of a lot from him to earn my trust back. I’m over dramatic and bitchy, I know but I can’t handle it.” I admitted then I picked the bags back up and started up the stairs towards my old room that I’ll be staying in for the next week or so until Jack and I can find a place of our own.

Once in my room, I sighed softly seeing it exactly how I left when I went to California. Placing the bags down on the bed, I opened them up and gathered all of JJ’s clothes then went down the hall into his room to put them away.

“Hey stranger,” I heard Jordan mumble from the door way.

With a smile tugging on my lips, I turned around and looked at my closest brother. He returned the smile before walking in all the way and wrapping me up in a hug, “I saw Justin Jon, what did Rian do to him?” He teased.

“Broke him,” I laughed as I backed away, “He fell off the monkey bars at the park then he managed to catch strep throat.” I rolled my eyes a little bit, “Rian left me with a sick kid.” I mumbled.

“He looks like shit,” Jordan nodded his head, “Poor little guy.” He paused for a moment then sat down on JJ’s bed, “Where’s Jack?”

“Over at his parents.”

“Joel’s coming home this weekend with Heath, you know that?” He wondered, “He’s staying here until his loft in Baltimore is ready.”

“Is he really?”

“Really.” Jordan confirmed.

“Well, I guess I can talk to Rian, see if JJ can stay with him while I go to Jack’s parents with Jack.” I whispered as I folded one of JJ’s shirts.

“It’s that bad?” Jordan wondered.

“Yeah, it is that bad.” I insisted as I tossed JJ’s shirt into his dresser drawer and closed it, “Has he ever done something like this before?”

“High school,” Jordan answered, “He had gotten in a couple of fights here and there and we never really thought about him being the one who started it but he did mess a few people up, but it’s high school, you know?” Jordan rolled his eyes a bit, “I don’t know, Kodie.”

I sat down next to my brother and studied him intently, “If Jack and I get a big enough place, do you want to move in with us?” I wondered, “He’s gone all the time and if I’m pregnant … I’m going to need help with taking care of JJ, especially when I find a job. You’re not going to school full time, are you?”

“No, just two times a week, and they’re evening classes.”Jordan answered, “If it’s alright with Jack, sure.” He agreed with a gentle smile, “And did you just say that you’re pregnant?”

“No,” I corrected, “I said if I’m pregnant, I don’t know yet. Jack and I have been trying.” I blushed a little bit, “I don’t want my kids to be so far apart that they can’t hang out and relate to each other, you know?” I frowned a little bit, “JJ’s turning five and he’ll be starting Kindergarten in the fall, this seems like the right time, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Jordan laughed, “I’m not the one trying to get pregnant.” He nudged me then stood to his feet, “Listen, I know what Joel did was fucked up, but he loves you and he’s really upset about this.”

I looked up at Jordan, “It’s going to take time, he needs to earn my trust back.”

Jordan nodded then left the room leaving me alone. I took a quick glance around JJ’s room then left as well, making my way back down to the living room.

“Stop it,” JJ’s tiny voice caught my attention as he pushed his Uncle’s hand away from him, “Don’t.” He added in a whiney voice.

Jordan laughed at the little boy, “You’re a moody little one, aren’t you?”

JJ glared then turned his back to Jordan as he cuddled back against my Father, “Damnit, Jordan.” He snapped, “Leave him alone, he doesn’t feel good.”

“I was just checking out his battle wound.” Jordan leaned over and kissed the top of JJ’s head then he left towards the kitchen. Sitting down on the couch opposite of the one my Father is on, I just smiled over at JJ and felt content with being home.

California wasn’t what I wanted or needed, I’m just glad that I’m finally home.