Everything I Do Is Empty Without You

Sitting at the restaurant table with Rian, Jessica and Jack while JJ sat in my lap, I held my Son closely having missed him while he was with his Father. Placing a soft kiss on his temple, I smiled against his soft skin before whispering to him, “I love you,”

The little boy inhaled deeply, “I love you,” He mocked cutely while he continued to color on the kid’s menu with the crayons the restaurant provided. Suddenly, he turned his head around and looked at me with serious eyes, “When’s Christmas?” He wondered.

“Two days,” I held up two fingers.

“Oh,” He mumbled as he turned back to his coloring, “Ok.”

I smiled then looked over at Rian. With his arm draped over Jessica’s shoulder’s carelessly, he was talking to Jack about something or another, I honestly haven’t been paying attention. I don’t understand how they can spend almost the entire year stuck together in a dirty van then come home and still want to hang out, it baffles me I suppose.

“So, California?” Jessica asked, gaining my attention.

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

She licked her lips as she looked at JJ then back up at me, “So, JJ will spend the summers out here with Rian and I and the winter with you in California?” She asked, “Because, even though you’re moving, Rian still has the right to see his Son and I do as well seeing as he’ll be my Step-Son.”

I frowned over at her as the guys’ conversation came to a dead stop, “No,” I answered, “He won’t be spending the summers out here.”

Mirroring my dirty look, Jessica laughed forcefully, “That’s not right, Kodie. Just because you’re moving for your own reasons, doesn’t mean you need to punish Rian like this, and his family as well, JJ is just as much Rian’s kid as he is yours.”

“Babe, it’s fine.” Rian butted in, sensing that this was going to end up getting worse before it was over, “She can take JJ, I’m gone most of the time anyway.” He nodded, “If I want to see him, I can fly over there or he can fly out here for a weekend, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is, Rian!” She exclaimed.

“Hey,” Jack started, “JJ, buddy … why don’t we go get a piece of bubble gum out of the machine and go outside to see who can blow the bigger bubble?”

“Really!? Before my food!?” JJ squealed happily.

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, “but you have to promise to eat.”

“Promise.” JJ confirmed as he climbed off of my lap as Jack stood to his feet. Scooping my son up, Jack shot us a look before walking away with JJ in his arms. Once they were out of eat shot Jessica started in once more, “Seriously, Rian she has no right to move that kid across the country without your permission.”

“Technically, I do.” I informed her, “Rian and I had JJ out of wedlock, I don’t have to let Rian see him at all. Rian could take me to court for custody but he wouldn’t get any, the most he’ll get is visitation rights.”

Rian glared at Jessica, “Jess, don’t do this, I told you that I’m fine with the arrangement.”

“Well, I’m not.” She insisted, “I think it’s bullshit that you hardly get to see the boy and your family never see’s him while you’re out on the road.”

“His family doesn’t want to see him,” I clarified, “I’ve tried to let them but they want nothing to do with him unless Rian is around.” I looked over at Rian, “I’m going to go, but JJ can stay, Jack can bring him home after the dinner, there’s no sense in ruining his night because your fiancé can’t mind her own business.” I grabbed my purse took out the money for dinner, letting it fall down onto the table, “It’s on me.” I assured then stood to my feet.

“Kodie,” Rian begged but I simply ignored his plea while I left the restaurant.

Outside, I saw JJ standing a bench while trying to blow a bubble with Jack standing in front of him, just in case the little boy lost his balance and fell. Looking over at me, Jack frowned, “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m leaving, can you make sure he eats and bring him home afterwards?” I asked my boyfriend.

Jack nodded his head, “You ok?”

“I don’t want to talk about it now.” I forced a smile at JJ, “I’m gonna go home, but you’re gonna stay here with Daddy and Jack,” I kissed his forehead, “Be good, and eat your dinner, please.”

“I will,” JJ assured.

I turned to Jack and gave him a sad look. He gave me his own sad look in return before leaning down, kissing my lips without thinking and as soon as his lips barely touched mine, JJ let out a squeal, “Ew!” He giggled, “Uncle Jack, that’s my Mama!”

Jack pulled away blushing deeply before sighing, “Do we tell him?”

“We should,” I assured.

“Ok,” Jack turned to JJ and smiled, “Buddy, your Mom and I are dating,”

The four year old stared at Jack blankly while he chewed on his gum, “What?”

“Like how Daddy and Jessica are, is like how Jack and I are.” I cut in, “Jack is my boyfriend and I love him.”

JJ looked at me then at Jack before nodding, “Ok.”

“Are you ok with that?” Jack questioned, “Because if you’re not, I totally understand.”

“So,” JJ started, ignoring his question completely, “You’re gonna be my second Daddy like Jessica is my second Mama?”

Jack laughed, “That’s one way of putting it.”

“Cool,” JJ smiled then went back to blowing a bubble.

“That was easy,” Jack looked at me.

“He’s a four year old boy who has other worries in this world than who his Mother is dating.” I assured then kissed Jack’s lips once more, “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Jack replied softly.

“Here,” I handed him my car keys, “You can drive my car home, I have his seat in the back.”

Jack took my keys then tugged his out of his pocket and handed them to me, “Here,” He muttered, “Take mine.”

Nodding a little bit, I took the keys then without another word I left, walking towards Jack’s car so I could leave as quickly as possible before I decided to change my mind and go back into the restaurant to make a scene that doesn’t need to be made.

----------------

Arriving back at the table, I let JJ get in first before I sat down on the outside of the booth. Looking over at Rian, I frowned deeply, “Dude,” I started, “Seriously?” I asked, not being able to find the words to fit this situation.

“I know,” Rian shook his head, “She got out of hand,” He spoke of Jessica before glancing towards the restrooms, “You know, she’s never liked Kodie, I think the one night stand still pisses her off.” He licked his lips, “I don’t think she ever believed me about not having feelings for Kodie other than just being her friend.”

I nodded, knowing the pain and confusion that Jessica has because it happened to me too but I found a way to get over it and I came to terms with it, only because I know why Kodie did what she did, “Still man, Jessica had no right.” I pointed out, “JJ is yours and Kodies, you two have figured out a system that works.”

He nodded, “And it’s not like JJ has truly liked being with me until now.” He looked over at JJ, “The last thing I want is to start something with Kodie, I know about the mood she’s been in lately, since her real sister showed up, I don’t want to add to her stress.”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at JJ who was now back into concentrating on his coloring, completely ignoring everything his Father and I are saying, “I think Jessica is just trying to start shit … I think that she may want some custody if not sole custody over JJ.”

“No,” Rian mumbled.

“Think about it man, she’s trying to get Kodie completely out of your life and she’s using JJ to do it.” I shook my head, “Kodie will never take JJ away from you the way Jessica is talking about, you know that. Family is everything to Kodie, trust me, it truly is, and she’ll never let an opportunity of you seeing JJ pass by, she wants you in his life but you need to talk to Jessica, she isn’t his Mother and she shouldn’t act like it.”

Rian nodded then we both fell quiet as Jessica came back to the table and sat down. Looking over at JJ and I, she glared at me deeply before taking a drink of her tea, “Is that skank you call a girlfriend gone?”

“Enough,” Rian snapped, making JJ drop his crayon and look up at his Father with wide eyes, “God Damn, Jessi!” He growled as he looked at his fiancé, “Get the fuck over it, she is the Mother of my son and one of my best friends, learn to deal with it or maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore because she’ll always be in my life, always.”

JJ frowned deeply, “I want to go,” he mumbled as he looked at me, “I want my Nana,” He spoke of Kodie’s Mother, “and my Papa and my Mama.” He looked over at Rian with worried eyes before he pushed on my arm, “C’mon, Uncle Jack.”

“Don’t you want to wait for your food?” I smiled at him, “No one is going to yell anymore, promise.” I assured him, comforting him the best I can, knowing the little boy doesn’t do well with fighting. He’s never around that sort of fighting, the Cryer’s aren’t mean people and when they do fight they take it outside or into another room, away from JJ. No little kid should have to witness arguing.

“No,” JJ grumbled as he climbed over my lap and stood up, “I wanna go.”

Inhaling deeply, I nodded then looked over at Rian, “I should take him home,”

Rian stood up and swept his son off of his feet, “I’ll do it.” He assured then walked away without a single word said to Jessica.

“She’s a total bitch, Jack.” Jessica started, “How can you forgive her when there’s a four year old reminder walking around.”

“Because, I love her and I know why she did what she did, you know she didn’t get pregnant with JJ by herself, Rian helped, he isn’t innocent in this situation and he also didn’t cheat on you. It was almost five years ago, get over it because if you don’t, you’re going to lose Rian. He loves you but he’s a Father first.” I stood to my feet giving her a blank look, “And if you don’t stop for Rian, stop for JJ … he didn’t get to chose the way he came into this world or how he was made, this isn’t his fault and fighting in front of him will only piss people off.”

After that was said, I left the restaurant only to see that Rian’s car was already gone by the time I was in the parking lot. Getting into Kodie’s car, I started the engine and put it into gear, leaving the parking space for the Cryer household. This fight should’ve been avoided, it shouldn’t have ever happened yet it did and somehow I feel like I’m going to be the one picking up the pieces.