Second Heartbeat

Pictures and Some Memories

February 14, 2007

Today is not only Valentine’s Day but right in the middle of my 4/5th month of pregnancy yay! I say 4/5 because it depends on how you look at the months. You can start with October (the month I conceived) as the first month and then July will be month number 10. Or you can start with November and July will be the ninth month. I cannot believe it, I only have 4/5 more months to go but I know that Baby Deathbat will be here before I know it, wow. Matt and I have already decided on names for Baby Deathbat whenever he/she gets here.

If it is a boy, his name will be Charles Boyce Sanders and will be called Boyce. Boyce is my Grammy’s maiden name. If it is a girl her name will be Ryleigh Gracen Sanders and will be called Ryleigh Gracen. These two names honour very important people in our lives.

We have also started to set up the nursery. We are using one of our old guest rooms, which used to have plain off white walls and only a double bed and a night-side table. We first painted the walls a soft yellow colour and then had a friend of my parents come in and paint a Winnie the Pooh mural on the walls. We have picked out a white crib with Winnie the Pooh bedding and a changing table that was a wood colour but we painted it white to go with the crib.

Today we have our 20 week doctor’s appointment and after that, Matt says he has a Valentine’s Day treat for me. I cannot wait for it! The doctor’s appointment isn’t until 11 but we woke up around 9 so we could get ready.

Good news, I can finally wear maternity clothes because not only have my boobs gotten bigger (from a C to almost a DD) but I think Baby Deathbat might be a boy because you can definitely see my stomach now. It’s almost as if Baby Deathbat said,

“you know what? Forget this fetal position I am reclining.”

So today, I decided in honour of Valentine’s Day I would wear a red maternity shirt. I also put my maternity jeans and red flats on, Matt on the other hand did not have Valentine’s Day on his mind when he decided what to wear. Well, he might have but only some people would think it was “romantic”, he decided to wear his “DILF” shirt along with his jeans and Vans.

We left the house at 9:30 and got to Dr. Montgomery’s office at 10:15. We talked about the album while we waited and Matt told me that he was glad that they were “right on schedule” with the album (but I wouldn’t have known that, I haven’t been in the studio since January 15th!) but he just couldn’t shake off the song that he calls “Big Bear” because Jimmy wrote it while they were at our cabin in Big Bear.

Matt described it as “dark but in a good way, almost like Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘Tale-Tell Heart’” but the other boys don’t know what to do with it because they aren’t sure if they like it enough to have it on the album. I love Edgar Allan Poe, so I said,

“Well, why not just tell them that you really like it and try and explain that it would be an excellent song on the album and try and convince them.”

“Thanks Ashlyn,”

He said,

“you always know just what to say…”

But, he didn’t’ get to finish because just then, I heard,

“Ashlyn Sanders”

And we were on our way back to the doctor.

The nurse, who I could see was named Amanda, led me to the scale and said,

“sorry honey, I know you probably don’t want to know how much weight you have gained but I have to do this.”

“that’s ok,”

I said,

“I haven’t gained that much weight and even so, I know that this weight is healthy.”

I stepped on and held my breath until Amanda said,

“Well, it looks like you weigh 130, which according to your chart means you have gained about 20 pounds so far. You are right on target with your weight gain, good job!”

After taking the rest of my vitals, blood pressure, temperature those sorts of things, Amanda led Matt and I to the ultrasound room and told us Dr. Montgomery would be with us momentarily. As soon as she left , Matt turned towards me and said,

“Well, I can tell you one thing, I think that your 20 pounds of “baby weight” is evenly distributed between your breasts and your stomach. I mean that in the nicest way baby, don’t take that the wrong way.”

Wrong way? I couldn’t help myself, I was laughing so hard I think I almost forgot to breathe! I was also thankful Matt waited until no one else could hear him! After about a minute I calmed down and thank God I did because Dr. Montgomery came in not 30 seconds after that!

“Hello Matt and Ashlyn. Ashlyn, are you having any problems with your pregnancy?”

“Well, sometimes at night, when I am trying to go to sleep, I get into a comfortable position for me, but when I do, I can feel movement in my stomach, as though the baby doesn’t like that position. So, I get in another position, which unfortunately, is uncomfortable for me, the movement stops, as though the baby is content. I don’t know what to do, either I am uncomfortable or the baby is, what should I do?”

“Well, there is nothing I can do, but I have heard of parents singing to the baby, like a lullaby and that might help you.”

“Thank you so much Dr. Montgomery.”

“No problem, that is why I am here, now who wants to see a baby? “

Matt waved his hand like a little boy who was really excited and knew the answer to a question saying,

“I do! I do!”

“Well, I guess we will see the baby today. Do you still not want to know the sex Ashlyn?”

“No, I do not, my mom said I was a surprise, so I want this one to be one too. Plus, if and when Matt and I have more children, we can find out when that happens.”

Then Dr. Montgomery put the really cold jelly on my stomach and showed us little random pictures of Baby Deathbat, like his/her head, foot and arm and printed the pictures of each.

Finally she showed us a picture of Baby Deathbat’s profile and it was so surreal, knowing that the picture on the screen was the child inside of me. I also started to tear up and so did Matt but we kept our emotions in check and she printed that picture too but not before we asked her to write “Baby Deathbat” on the picture.

We left Dr. Montgomery’s office and before we left for my surprise, I told Matt, we had to stop for Krispy Kreme for hot doughnuts, even though it was almost lunch time. Thank God the sign out front said, “HOT DOUGHNUTS NOW”! Matt barely stopped the Escalade when I bolted out of the car and almost ran toward the door and quickly ordered half of a dozen of hot doughnuts.

The poor guy behind the counter looked at me like I was crazy but at the same time, he knew that you did not mess with a pregnant women. He quickly got my doughnuts and I paid for them and then made it back to the Escalade where Matt was still in shock.

I ate 3 of my doughnuts and then Matt said that we were going to the studio for my surprise. When we got there, I was surprised that Brian, Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy, Fred(the engineer), Walter (the guitar tech) and some blonde girl were also there. Matt quickly introduced me to the blonde, who I found out was named Shauna Crooks. I still had no idea why she was there but Matt quickly instructed me to sit on the couch, wait and listen.

I did as I was told and soon I could hear the beginning of what sounded like a country song.

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
And where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

During the first chorus, I started to tear up until I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, I immediately said,

“Matt, come over here and put your hand on my stomach.”

He didn’t even question me and when he did, I knew that he felt it too.

“Ash, is that what I think it is? Is that Baby Deathbat kicking?”

There was no mistaking what it was when Baby Deathbat kicked again when the second chorus came on. Matt soon called the boys over and soon I had 8 hands on my stomach and they all said,

“Wow, that is so cool!”

Then they took their hands off my stomach, which was good because I was starting to get a little antsy with all those people around me and my stomach.

I knew that babies could recognize their mother’s voice in the womb but was not sure that they could recognize their father’s voice. I was equally shocked that Baby Deathbat could recognize his/her father’s singing voice.

Once the song was finished, I asked Matt,

“is this the song that you said was really personal?”

“yeah, you inspired it, well, you and Baby Deathbat. I just kept thinking about what it will be like when I leave to go on tour and have to leave you and Baby Deathbat for 3 months.”

I almost started to cry right then but instead I pulled Matt in for a kiss. He and I kissed for several minutes, but made sure not to make it too “hot and heavy” since we weren’t alone.

After we broke apart we whispered,

“I love you”

To each other.

Then Matt showed the others the ultrasound and then decided to make copies of it so everyone would have one in his work station in the studio so we could see our goal, since Baby Deathbat was due on the day they wanted to finish the album, July 10th.

Then he told the others that we had other plans for the night and we were leaving. I asked him where we were going and he said we were going to a spa where we both would be getting a massage.

Also, he told me that when I hit 6 months, he has already made an appointment for a belly cast. Aw…I knew I picked the right man, so romantic but also has a “dark/dirty” side.

We went to the La Petite Retreat Spa and as I figured, he used Daddy’s name to rent the entire place out, which I am sure cost a pretty penny but right now I didn’t care. Matt had ordered the Couples Spa Package, which is three treatments.

He let me have a Prenatal Massage, Jade Stone Couples Spa Massage and Couples Champagne Bath For Two, however, he requested that we drink water instead. He opted for the deep tissue massage while I got my prenatal massage, but we were in the same room. It was all so relaxing and they even brought us dinner right before we went into the Couples Champagne Bath For Two.

During our Champagne Bath, they brought us chocolate covered strawberries and I was so relaxed and felt so rejuvinated afterwards, I didn’t want to leave. But, we did and then headed home, where my warm bed awaited me.

Once we got home, I was ready for bed, but once I changed into my pj’s, white fuzzy pants with stars and a shirt that said, “Rub my belly for good luck”. Matt changed into his Metallica pajama bottoms and then we both climbed into bed.

After about 15 minutes of tossing and turning, I finally decided to take Dr. Montgomery’s advice and sing to Baby Deathbat because Matt was getting frustrated as well. I decided to sing part of a song that I heard my Aunt Vanessa sing to my cousin Hayes, it is called “Rocking Song.”

Gonna hold this child, gonna hold her tight
Gonna hold my baby till the morning light
Though I may be tired and I may be weak
I will love this child so small and meek
Gonna hold this child, gonna hold her tight
Gonna hold my baby till the morning light
Gonna let her know that nothing's wrong
Gonna hold my baby and sing this rocking song

Then I could feel the movement in my stomach start to weaken so I sang “River Lullaby” from The Prince of Egypt

Hush now, my baby
Be still love, don't cry
Sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember
My lullaby
And I'll be with you when you dream

Drift on a river
That flows through my arms
Drift as I'm singing to you
I see you smiling
So peaceful and calm
And holding you, I'm smiling, too
Here in my arms
Safe from all harm
Holding you, I'm smiling, too

Hush now, my baby
Be still, love, don't cry
Sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember this river lullaby
And I'll be with you when you dream
I'll be with you when you dream

Then the movement stopped and I knew then that Baby Deathbat was asleep. I looked over at Matt and he was drifting off too. I curled up against him and then he put his arm around my waist, rubbed my stomach and then we both fell asleep.

♠ ♠ ♠

Ok, I know some of you have no idea what those songs are, but never fear! I have made a playlist with the songs and I have posted it here in the AN section for the link. Although "Rocking Song" sings about a baby girl, that does not mean Baby Deathbat is a girl.

Also, I know you aren't supposed to get into a hot tub while pregnant but as long as it is below 100 degrees and you don't stay in for more than 15 minutes you will be fine. I am trying to research these things as I write about them so sorry if I get some information wrong.

Links!

Old Guest Room
Pooh Mural
Name with Crib and Changing Table
5 month check up
5 month old Baby Deathbat
La Petite Resort
bed time
Songs Ashlyn sings to Baby Deathbat