A Nonsensical Answer to an Embarassing Question
Chapter 1 of 1
I changed the channel several times and ended up turning it to something random. It ended up being Code Name: Kids Next Door. It was some weird episode about them arguing about where the heck babies come from. Me, being a teenager, already knew the answer to that question.
My little sister, Treena, sat on the floor in front of the television. She watched with great interest. Treena is very girly and can't wait until she grows up and has kids. I roll my eyes whenever she talks about it. I think it's nonsense to think like that, but she's only five so it explains everything. Ah, the ignorance of youth. Wow, that made me sound old.
The program ended with Numbah 1 saying that babies came from Pennsylvania and not New Jersey...maybe it was the other way around. It doesn't really matter to me. Treena got off the floor and stood in front of me. She looked up at my face with a smile and ask a question that I was sure made my face redden. "Amanda, where do babies come from?"
"Well, um, why don't you just go play?" I suggested trying to change her mind about wanting to know. She stomped her foot on the floor. She started sniffling like she usually did when she was going to throw a hissy fit. "But I wanna know now!"
If my mom came home and saw my little sister's eyes all puffy and red she'd want to know why. I didn't want to deal with my mom's interrogation. I made up something off the top of my head. "OK, so, um. All the animals in the forest and city go to a farmer's house where he sells cabbage seeds. Each of the raccoons, dogs, cats, pigeons, and whatever other animals are there get one seed. The animals go around and plant the seeds in people's yards and -"
"What if they don't have a yard? What if they live in an apartment?" Treena interrupted with her questions. Damn her for knowing the different types of housing.
"Then they plant the seed in the house plant or flower box. And then th-"
"What if they don't have a house plant or flower box in their window?" She interrupted again. I rolled my eyes and answered, "Then those people don't get a baby. They can get either one when they're ready. Do want to know or not?"
"Yes..." she said. So I continued on, "And then the animals leave the seed to be taken care of by the mommy and dad-"
"But my friend, Kelli, don't have a mommy. She has two daddies. How was she born then?" She asked. Why do little kids have to ask so many questions?
"She had a mommy at one point. Her mommy disappeared and her first daddy fell in love with her second daddy. OK?" I was starting to get annoyed at this point if you couldn't tell. She replied with an oh. "The mommy and daddy water and talk to and protect the seed until it grows into a ripe cabbage."
"How long does it take?" Again she interupts! I just smile and tell her, "Nine months."
When she then asks, "Why nine months?"
I answer, "Because the cabbage won't open until nine months later when the baby can live outside the cabbage. Besides that there's good magic put on it by some fairies to keep it safe inside until the mommy and daddy are able to take care of it."
"So nine monthes since the seed was planted the baby grows and grows. The cabbage now ready to burst opens up and the baby cries to say hello to the world since babies can't talk. The baby continues to grow until it's a brat like you."
"Hey!"
"Then it continues to grow until it's a beautiful young woman like me..." Yes, I must admit that I'm a bit conceited. I continued while daydreaming a bit, "Or a wonderfully hot, young man like the quarterback at my school, Trevor Steward."
"I have two things to say. You're ugly and Amanda and Trevor sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." Treena say that childish song. I let her sing it. She was happy with my explaination and I wouldn't mind sitting in a tree and K-I-S-S-I-N-G Trevor.
My little sister, Treena, sat on the floor in front of the television. She watched with great interest. Treena is very girly and can't wait until she grows up and has kids. I roll my eyes whenever she talks about it. I think it's nonsense to think like that, but she's only five so it explains everything. Ah, the ignorance of youth. Wow, that made me sound old.
The program ended with Numbah 1 saying that babies came from Pennsylvania and not New Jersey...maybe it was the other way around. It doesn't really matter to me. Treena got off the floor and stood in front of me. She looked up at my face with a smile and ask a question that I was sure made my face redden. "Amanda, where do babies come from?"
"Well, um, why don't you just go play?" I suggested trying to change her mind about wanting to know. She stomped her foot on the floor. She started sniffling like she usually did when she was going to throw a hissy fit. "But I wanna know now!"
If my mom came home and saw my little sister's eyes all puffy and red she'd want to know why. I didn't want to deal with my mom's interrogation. I made up something off the top of my head. "OK, so, um. All the animals in the forest and city go to a farmer's house where he sells cabbage seeds. Each of the raccoons, dogs, cats, pigeons, and whatever other animals are there get one seed. The animals go around and plant the seeds in people's yards and -"
"What if they don't have a yard? What if they live in an apartment?" Treena interrupted with her questions. Damn her for knowing the different types of housing.
"Then they plant the seed in the house plant or flower box. And then th-"
"What if they don't have a house plant or flower box in their window?" She interrupted again. I rolled my eyes and answered, "Then those people don't get a baby. They can get either one when they're ready. Do want to know or not?"
"Yes..." she said. So I continued on, "And then the animals leave the seed to be taken care of by the mommy and dad-"
"But my friend, Kelli, don't have a mommy. She has two daddies. How was she born then?" She asked. Why do little kids have to ask so many questions?
"She had a mommy at one point. Her mommy disappeared and her first daddy fell in love with her second daddy. OK?" I was starting to get annoyed at this point if you couldn't tell. She replied with an oh. "The mommy and daddy water and talk to and protect the seed until it grows into a ripe cabbage."
"How long does it take?" Again she interupts! I just smile and tell her, "Nine months."
When she then asks, "Why nine months?"
I answer, "Because the cabbage won't open until nine months later when the baby can live outside the cabbage. Besides that there's good magic put on it by some fairies to keep it safe inside until the mommy and daddy are able to take care of it."
"So nine monthes since the seed was planted the baby grows and grows. The cabbage now ready to burst opens up and the baby cries to say hello to the world since babies can't talk. The baby continues to grow until it's a brat like you."
"Hey!"
"Then it continues to grow until it's a beautiful young woman like me..." Yes, I must admit that I'm a bit conceited. I continued while daydreaming a bit, "Or a wonderfully hot, young man like the quarterback at my school, Trevor Steward."
"I have two things to say. You're ugly and Amanda and Trevor sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." Treena say that childish song. I let her sing it. She was happy with my explaination and I wouldn't mind sitting in a tree and K-I-S-S-I-N-G Trevor.