High School Is the Least of Our Worries.

Gerard.

I don’t understand. He wanted this, I know he did. He still does, I can see it. It’s the very same expression I see in the mirror every time I think about him. But his expression is mixed with fear, and I know he’s in denial; his life has always been perfect, girls thrown at his feet. Being gay was not part of the job.

I start to walk away slowly, my eyes glistening with tears, as I know it's over before it's even begun.

It can’t be over. It just can’t.

I think about what my life was like before I met Frank. Depressing. Tiring. I was too fed up with life, I barely had the strength to get out of bed.

I can’t let it be over.

I stop dead, my eyes wide and understanding.

I won’t let it be over.

I turn around and looked into his eyes. “I’m not going,” I whisper, my voice cracking.

“What?” Frank stares at me, his eyes bearing into me.

“I’m. Not. Going,” I say, a little stronger now, “I won’t let the only thing that I have in my life slip away.”

He looks at me, just staring. I match his gaze, waiting for him to answer. Pleading with him. Don’t let me go.

Frank.

He stands there, waiting for an answer, our gazes locked. I’m the first to pull away, looking at my feet, biting my lip hard, tasting the metallic taste on my tongue.

“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper, lifting my face up to look at him, one thing he said keeps echoing in my head.

I wont let the only thing that I have in my life slip away.

It breaks my heart slightly.

“I don’t want to go without knowing how you’re going to act in the morning,” He says, looking me dead in the eye. “Are you going to go back to Courtney and Brad and act like I don’t exist? What’ll it be Frank?”

I take a step closer to him, “I’m so confused,” I whisper, my voice breaking.

“I-I can’t be gay… I-I’ve never kissed a guy before, guys don’t kiss guys.”

“Yes they do,” Gerard whispers as he takes a step forward and presses his lips to mine. I press back lightly, Gerard coaxing my mouth open with his tongue, I listen to my body not my head as I let him overtake my senses completely.

This can’t feel right, it’s so wrong.

“This is wrong,” I mumble against his lips, he doesn’t reply, just pulls away from my lips and pulls me into a hug. I sigh and shut my eyes, breathing in his Gerard-y smell, of cigarettes and coffee. It’s addictive.

Like him.