High School Is the Least of Our Worries.

Gerard.

I can’t face going out today. All I can bring up the strength to do is lie in bed, thinking about what could have happened, what might have happened between us. I look again at my alarm clock beside my bed. 10.37PM. Time seemed to be going so slowly.

I groan and rub my bloodshot eyes, and drag myself out of bed. I’m so glad my mom’s not home or I would be getting another load of bullshit about being suspended. Like she hasn’t been suspended before. Probably for drinking on school grounds.

Oh man I could really do with a drink right now. I miss the way it slides down my throat, causing a burning feeling to erupt.

I go over to my desk and pick up my old bottle of vodka, I haven’t touched it since I met Frank. It is nearly empty. Shit. I need it.

I go back downstairs, stumbling on the last step, falling flat on my face. I’m a fuck up.

I pull myself to my feet and stagger to the cupboard and pull out another bottle. As I’m about to go back upstairs, the phone rings. I can’t be bothered to pick it up so I let it go to the answer phone.

“Hey, Gee, it’s Frank” Came the choked whisper “I’m sorry… please can… can I see you? I-I miss you.” There’s a long silence and then the dial tone clicks off, leaving me to my thoughts.

My heart breaks but then my face hardens I can’t let myself get caught back up in something with no commitment. I walk away, my grip tightening on the bottle, and drink the whole bottle down, the bitter taste mixing with my tears.

Frank.

I clamber out the car, cursing myself for my stupidity. I decide the safest and most secluded place I can go is my treehouse. I remember building it with my dad when I was little. I always go there when I want to be alone.

I run through the tangled grass of my vast garden. I sprint past the window, in case my mum was home, I can’t have her knowing I’ve been suspended. She’d ground me for life. Plus I can’t have anyone knowing the reason I was suspended.

I finally reach the treehouse, nestled in the heart of the woods. I barely notice I have tears running down my face. I sniff and wipe my eyes, crawling into the corner and taking my cell out. I hold it in my hands, staring at the screen, my eyes blurry from the tears.

I search through the phonebook for Gerard’s number, quickly tapping it out with my shaky fingers. I place it to my ear and wait for him to pick up. He doesn’t.

It switches to answer phone.

“Hey, Gee, it’s Frank… I’m sorry… please can… can I see you? I-I miss you,” I say in a choked voice, tears streaming down my face.

‘I love you’ I mouth, too terrified to say it outloud. I click off and drop the phone onto the hard wooden floor, leaning my head back against the wall. My bottom lip trembles and I let out a small sob as I shut my eyes, trying to stop the tears.

Gerard.

Fuck I forgot how good this stuff is. The way it burns slipping down my throat but the sensation fades away, leaving me with nothing but pure pleasure. I take another swig of vodka, letting my senses evaporate into nothingness.

The time today has been so fucked up. Earlier on the time was passing by really slowly, now it’s five and I hear Mikey come home from seeing some of his new friends. I hope he has better friends than I do.

I quickly lock myself in the bathroom and soon enough I hear a voice travelling up the stairs. “Gerard?”

I open up the cabinet and get out my razor, quickly wiping off the staining black rings around my eyes. Slicing at my skin. I gasp as I feel the cold air swipe at my new scar, drowning my sorrows. Blood drips down onto the floor leaving an oozing puddle and I slice again, increasing the pleasure.

“GERARD!!” I hear Mikey scream… did he hear me?

I quickly slice again, needing to be set free. I hear footsteps sprinting up the stairs towards my bedroom. I listened for the sound of my door opening but it didn’t come. I’m too distracted by the blood forming on the floor, my clothes absorbing it as it flows under the bathroom door.

“GERARD!” I hear a thump of a body against a door and I look up.

“G-go away Mikes,” I groan, as I hear him shove the door again. He’s never gonna break it down, he’s even less fit than me. He ignores me, or doesn’t hear me. I start to cry. “Mikey, y-you’ll hurt your s-self,” I whimper.

He continues and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t let my little brother get hurt because of me. I twist the lock and he falls in, stumbling as he looks at me in horror.

Mikey. (Woo! We decided to give him his own POV!)

My eyes widen in horror as I stumble into the bathroom. I lay my eyes on Gerard, leaning against the wall, broken and defeated, blood pooling on the floor and dripping from his wrists.

“What the fuck did you do?!” I yell, my voice tinged with anger and despair. I go nearer to him and sink down to his level.

“G-Gerard answer me,” I whisper

“Did you hurt yourself?” He asks me quietly, looking up at me with teary, slightly unfocused eyes… he’s drunk.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” I ask quietly, sitting next to him, avoiding the blood.

“Cuz m’a fuck up,” He slurs

“No you’re not!” I say pulling him into a hug, he pushes me away and I fall back, hitting my head on the tiled wall, I let out a cry of pain and look at him wide eyed.

“See what I mean! I can’t fucking do anything right,” He mumbles and I rub my head

“I hate you when you’re like this,” I say quietly as I stand up and leave him bleeding on the floor.