High School Is the Least of Our Worries.

Gerard.

I wake up later, warm in Frank’s arms. I remember what happened earlier , and grin to myself. I made love to him this afternoon. It was pure bliss.

Memory comes flooding back to me. I, perhaps stupidly, confessed my love to him, and he didn’t respond. Does that mean he doesn’t love me?

I lay, staring at the ceiling for a while, listening to his steady breathing. I’m still holding his hand, wrapped securely with him.

Then, why do I feel like I’m about to fall?

I notice that he’s turned on his side in the night, facing away from me. I snuggle up to him, but I feel something sticky against my bare body. I look under the covers and can barely control my gasp.

There, forming around his tiny hole, is a ring of blood etched carefully there. Shit. I run my finger delicately across it, and Frank winces in his sleep. I quickly bring my hand back, not wanting to hurt him any further.

Did this happen out of pure bad luck? Or was I just too damn selfish to see what hurt I was causing him?

I feel him stirring beneath me, obviously feeling my warm breath grow worried on his neck.

“Hey,” he smiles at me, turning to face me and in result lying on his wound. He winces again and looks at me, startled.

“Gee, what…?” he doesn’t finish as I hold up my finger, coated in his blood.

Frank.

Oh shit.

“Oh shit… I- I mean how did… what, h-how did that happen?!” I stammer, bringing my own hand down, feeling the sticky liquid.

“Fuck I’m so sorry I hurt you!” Gerard says, obviously panicking.

“It’s fine,” I say sitting up, feeling a sharp pain rip through me, much like earlier.

“Fuck,” I whimper.

“Oh shit… uhh let me help you,” Gerard mumbles as he climbs out of bed and takes my arm as I attempt to stand up without being ripped in half.

He slowly leads me to the bathroom, I whimper with every step. Gerard shoots me glances and I notice he’s got tears slowly flowing down his face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask quietly as we stop just outside the bathroom door.

“I-I’ve ruined everything… I-I never meant to hurt you,” He says quietly, and I turn to face him, seeing his lower lip tremble.

I move quickly and wrap my arms around him, ignoring the intense pain.

“Do you wanna know something Gee?” I say softly as I push him away slightly so I can see his face. “You made me the happiest guy alive today, and I don’t care how cliché that sounds but it’s true… I feel lucky because you and me… we just-“

He places a finger against my lips. “You’re rambling,” He whispers as he kisses my cheek.

I blush. What am I? Some 12 year old girl?!

Gerard.

I can’t help blaming myself for what happened with Frank. I didn’t fucking mean to hurt him, it was meant to be special, with sensual aromas, candles, passionate declarations of love… of course, it didn’t happen like that. Nothing ever happens like that; at least, not for me.

His arms are wrapped around me, but I can feel how tense he is. It’s not anything to do with nerves or anything. He’s in so much pain, but he’s covering it up, to look brave, to try to convince me that I haven’t hurt him. Typical. Guys can’t handle looking weak in front of anyone.

“Frankie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…” I stop in mid-sentence as he kisses me gently on the lips.

“Forget it. It was great and I have no regrets.” His smile is genuine but his eyes look pained.

“Can I drive you home…?” I offer pathetically, but he shakes his head.

“If my mom sees you drive me home then help me limp to the front door, she’s gonna put two and two together. I – we – can’t risk it.”

He only puts me in as an afterthought. “We can go through this together, Frankie. Don’t do it alone.”

He just looks at me, almost sadly. “If only it were that simple,” he mutters, and comes over to me, pecks me on the lips and gives me a reassuring squeeze. It doesn’t work.

I see him limp over to the door. “Fuck it, Frank, you can’t go home like that.”

“But…”

“No buts. I’ll drive you to the end of the road.”

I lead him out to the car, going much slower than usual. It’s dark outside, darker than I thought, so we stumble a couple of times. I support him all the way to the car.

“You’ll never let me fall. Right Gee?”

I smile and let a tear roll down my cheek. “Right.”

Eventually, after half an hour of casual talking and wincing from Frank, we arrive at the end of his road.

“Are you sure…?” I inquire hesitantly.

“Yes, Gee!” he giggles, shoving me playfully. “Don’t worry about me. I’m strong.”

I watch the corner he turns long after he’s gone.

You may be strong, but I’m not.

Frank.

I hobble the couple of hundred yards back to my house, my ass aching with every step. But I don’t regret a second of it. It’s pretty dark so I stumble a bit, unable to see my footing. Only guided by the flood lights on my drive way. I open the creaky gate to my house and creep inside. I knock on the front door, trying to think of an excuse why I was late.

I start to shiver, the night time October air, causing the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck to stand on end. Oh god please let her be home.

I wait a few more minutes before slumping down on the front door step.

“Fuck!” I half scream as the ripping feeling travels up my ass again. I whimper and huddle under the porch thing in front of our house, protecting me from the bitter winds. Why the fuck didn’t I bring a jacket!?

I rummage for my cell phone in my pocket, ringing my home number, only to find no answer, she’s definitely not home, not just ignoring me. I lean my head against the door and bring my hands to my face, rubbing slightly. Everything always has to go wrong. I resign and ring Gerard… I really didn’t want his help.