You Look Pretty Low

[Peyton]

It was now the first Saturday in June. Trinity and I had been in Maryland nearly 4 months now. The thought of actually…staying somewhere still shocked me. I know Trinity is the same. But right now, we have no reason to get sent back to foster headquarters – I mean, Alex and I are going strong, Trinity and Zack are going strong, and we’re slightly getting on with the Bensons.

Don’t laugh.

Seriously.

I can’t really explain it. I know in my case, it’s the fact that they put up with all our shit, yet are still prepared to cover us if something goes wrong. I guess…we’ve never had anyone willing to do that for us. Trinity and I talked about it the other night, actually. She feels exactly the same.

Sure, we don’t tell them this.

But it’s obvious we’re not as difficult as we used to be.

Anyways…today is Saturday, and Trinity and I are eating breakfast. At 1pm. Mmm. Trinity was helping me wolf down a stack of pancakes that Sue had made, every single one absolutely covered in sprinkles and chocolate drops. I can feel the sugar high coming already.

“Girls? Are you still eating?” Sue called from upstairs

“Yerhmpf!” We yelled in unison

Sue laughed, walking down the stairs with Donald in tow. Uh oh. They always have something serious to say when they both come looking for us. Trinity and I immediately froze at their firm expressions upon entering the kitchen.

“I didn’t do it! It was Rian!” we both said quickly

Donald just rolled his eyes as Sue laughed again. They took a seat each opposite us, and I laughed as Trinity pulled her plate closer. Paranoid bitch.

“We’ve got some good news for you!” Donald beamed

“Good news for you, or good news for us?” Trinity asked sceptically, shovelling a large mouthful in

Wow. I’m glad Zack hasn’t seen her like this.

“All of us. Guess who’s coming to visit tomorrow?” Sue grinned

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you Father Christmas isn’t real?” I whispered mockingly

“No, thanks for the tip,” Donald said dryly, making me and Trinity snort

“Julian’s coming tomorrow!” Sue announced

Trinity’s jaw dropped the same time mine did. Only difference was, pancakes fell out her mouth. Gross.

“Disgusting, Trin. Why is he coming?” I asked, frowning

“He wants to check up on you. He’s surprised at your progress,” Sue beamed

“We haven’t made any fuckking progress,” Trinity grumbled, although we all knew that was a lie

A dirty fuckking black lie.

“Well, he’s still coming tomorrow. He said something about it being an important anniversary for you two?” Donald said hesitantly

I scowled deeply, as did Trinity. She even pushed her plate away. Dayum, she’s pissed.

“Yeaah. The 10 year anniversary of our dad topping himself,” Trinity spat

Both the Bensons’ eyes bulged in shock.

“Guess you didn’t read our file as well as you thought, huh?” I sneered

I’m not bipolar, I swear. They just cross the line sometimes. Trinity grabbed my hand and together we walked up to our room, slamming and locking the door straight after.

“Fuckking twats,” Trinity cursed, jumping face down onto her bed

I just nodded, too angry to speak, and punched my bedframe. The wood splintered, but something in my knuckles ‘popped’ as well.

Fuckk. Fuckk. Fuckk!

That hurt wayyyyy more than I expected!!

I let out a strangled cry, making Trinity chuckle and pull me down on her bed, taking my injured fist in her hands.

“Don’t fuckking poke it, skank!” I grunted, slapping her hands away with my good one

“How else do you expect me to undislocate your knuckles, bitch?” Trinity smirked

Oh she’s enjoying this. I’ll get her back. I just closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. Trinity snickered before grabbing my injured hand, forcefully moving my dislocated knuckles back into place.

“F*!%&$*!” I screamed

Trinity laughed, handing me an already-lit cigarette. I scowled at her, but took a drag, letting the nicotine I hate calm my pain.

“Hey, that’s my cancer stick, bitch,” Trinity muttered, snatching it back after I took a second drag

I laughed then grimaced, standing up off her bed.

“So fuckk face Julie is coming tomorrow then?” I sighed, running my good hand through my hair

“You know he’s only going to say the same thing he says every year. We still cannot find any trace of your mother. We’re all trying our hardest though. Don’t give up. Pile of bullcrap if you ask me,” Trinity nodded, exhaling her precious smoke

“Mmhmm. I hope he doesn’t expect us to be nice,” I chuckled, reaching into my mini-fridge for an ice-pack

“He’s going to get a nasty shock if he does,” Trinity laughed dryly, taking another drag

I pressed the ice-pack to my fist, hissing in pain. Then someone knocked on our door.

“Who the fuckk is it?” Trinity yelled, dropping her cigarette into a glass of not-drunk water.

Niiiice and classy, sis. I guess I’ll be cleaning that later.

“Alex!” my favourite deep voice yelled

“Fuckk off Gaskarth!” Trinity shouted

“Hey!” I protested

“We’re all downstairs. Come down!” Alex laughed

I looked at Trinity pleadingly, my anger gone now that I could spend time with Alex. Wow, that sounds weird coming from me. She sighed, but nodded.

Yay!

Alex grinned at me as I opened our door, pressing his lips tenderly against mine.

“If I have to go downstairs, I’d prefer to go now, not watch you two suck face,” Trinity interrupted.

Kill Joy. Alex chuckled, letting my sister walk past, before grabbing my hand.

I screamed in pain.

“What happened to your fist?!” he shrieked

“Haha you shrieked!” I giggled

“Answer my question,” Alex retorted, a slight blush on his cheeks

“I punched my bedframe,” I smiled, pulling him down the stairs

“Why?” Alex frowned

I sighed, staying silent. I stayed silent even as we joined Trinity, Zack, Jack and Rian in our living room. Trinity caught my gaze, her eyes communicating what her mouth didn’t. We were going to have to tell the boys about our parents.

*

[Trinity]

I kicked my feet over Zack’s lap, resting my head against the side of the sofa we were currently sharing. He traced soft patterns on my thighs, knowing I was stressed. Damn it. How can he read me so easily?!

“Have you two got something to tell us or something? Why do you look so pissed?” Jack frowned

“Our care worker’s coming tomorrow,” Peyton said simply

“He’s not taking you back, is he?!” Zack squeaked

“Nice and macho there,” I snickered

Zack just blushed, making us all laugh.

“No, he’s not taking us back,” Peyton smiled weakly

“Then why’s he coming?” Rian asked seriously

“He’s coming to check on our progress. And because it’s the anniversary…the 10 year anniversary of our dad topping himself,” I said softly

“The what?” Alex asked, surprised

“You heard her. 10 years ago tomorrow, our dad committed suicide. The day we went into foster care,” Peyton shrugged

“What about your mum?” Jack asked, confused

“Shall we start from the beginning, Pey?” I sighed, running a hand through my blonde hair

“Might as well,” Peyton mumbled

The boys all turned their full attention on Peyton and I as we sat down in the middle of the living room on the floor, holding hands, the two of us not looking anywhere but at each other.

“Mum was 18 when she met our dad, who was 26. Her parents didn’t approve of him, seeing as he was an Irish immigrant to New York. But, they ran away together, to California. Not sure where. Our mum got pregnant with me two weeks after they moved. Dad said all was going well, and it was the happiest day of his life when I was born 9 months later,” I started

“No less than 3 weeks after Trin was born, mum got knocked up with me. They had a rushed marriage, dad not wanting to have another child out of wedlock. Well, 9 months later, out I popped. Dad went to visit us in the newborn babies room, leaving mum to get some rest. He said when he went back, she’d disappeared, leaving him a divorce contract to sign, and a note saying never to contact her again because she didn’t want anything to do with him,” Peyton continued in an angry whisper

“She didn’t want anything to do with us either. She couldn’t handle having two children at a young age. Dad was heartbroken. He moved us all to Chicago. He never married again, and brought us up on his own, earning just enough money as a local actor. He cared for us as best as he knew how, taking us to Karate lessons from the age of 3 so we could protect ourselves when he couldn’t. He wasn’t always the best dad, forgetting stuff like picking us up from school on time and so on, but he tried,” I added, clenching my fist

“What we didn’t know was dad wasn’t actually coping well at all. He was heavily into drugs, and racked up huge debts. When I was 7 and Trin was 8, we found him face down on the kitchen table, pills and vodka scattered everywhere. His debts were repaid with all our stuff. We had nothing. We were kicked into foster care the same day. Since then we’ve learnt that trusting the one person we loved was the biggest mistake of our lives, because he obviously didn’t care enough to clean up for us,” Peyton finished, her eyes dark with the memories

The boys stayed silent. I knew they wouldn’t be able to handle this. I just counted under my breath, determined not to let my anger get the better of me. Then they all stood up. I knew it. They’re all going to fuckking run away.

But what they did surprised me. Alex, Jack, Zack and Rian laid on top of us, a huge 6-person pile-up hug.

“You two have been through so much shit that you don’t deserve,” Zack mumbled, his head poking through Rian’s legs to look at me

“I can’t even begin to imagine the hurt and pain the two of you must’ve felt to be left at such a young age by both your parents,” Rian said softly, squeezing Peyton’s good hand under Alex’s arm

“I swear I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you never feel the same hurt again,” Jack promised, his hand resting on my knee

“I admire both of you, for being so strong when you were so young. Fuckk knows I wouldn’t have been able to cope. That explains so much,” Alex smiled, pecking Peyton’s lips

“Erm guys?” Peyton wheezed

“Yeaah?” they chorused

“Can’t breathe!!” we hissed

Hurriedly the four boys got off us, helping us stand up after. Zack wrapped his arms round my waist from behind, Alex doing the same to my sister.

“We’ve never told anyone what happened to our parents. No-one. You can’t tell anyone, under any circumstances,” I warned, my voice having a dangerous edge

“We swear,” Alex said seriously, the other three agreeing

“Good. One day we will personally hunt our mother down…but for now, let’s just watch a film, aye?” Peyton said with a smile

“Aye, let’s,” Rian chuckled