Adie and Aphrodisiacs.
A Purchase From You-Know-Who
One fine day, a man named Billie Hoe Armstrong, uh I mean Billie Joe was walking down the street with his wife, Adrienne Armstrong. They were in the park. It was nice.
"Billie, I'm thirsty," Adrienne said.
"Of course you are, honey biscuit. We'll get you something to drink, because I love you so much, yes I do." Billie replied in a goo-goo voice while patting Adrienne on the head. She has always found it just a little disconcerting that he treated her like a four year old, but knew that there was no way around it.
Flashback
"Billie." Adrienne said
"Yes, Adie-sweet pea potato pie cuddliums?" Billie replied
"Um, could you maybe stop with the nicknames, the coddling, and the scary pampering?" she asked
"What? What are you saying? You don't love me anymore! That's what you're saying isn't it? Isn't it?" Billie cried hysterically and ran off like a 12 year old with horrendous PMS. Adrienne sighed and went after him.
"Billie..." she said, putting an arm on his shoulder. "I love you. I love so much it hurts. We'll make a deal. You stop pampering me so damn much, and I'll let you snuggle me and call me your strange nicknames."
"Deal!" said Billie and he threw an arm around her and kissed her. Into her mouth he mumbled, "I love you too my buttery lumpkin sugar face." Adrienne sighed.
End of flashback
Adrienne sighed and shuddered at the thought of the memory. The deal was long forgotten and she was continually treated like a retard by her retard of a husband. Why the hell did she love him? Oh well, she did. Now where the hell was he?
"Billie!" she called, wandering through the park. "Billie! Where are you?" After ten minutes, she found him wandering around the park just like she was. She went up to him. "Billie, where did you go? Why are you wandering around? And why is there an octopus on your ankle?" Billie looked down to see an octopus on his ankle.
He picked it off and threw it away. No more octopuses.
"Adie-looloo," he said, "I was looking for a vending machine so I could by my fuzzy bunny poo a drink, yes I was." And so, our happy couple wandered around looking for a vending machine, when Billie spotted a man with a beaker full of something.
"Hey you! Fucker!" Billie Joe called out to the man. He was normal, or as normal as he can be, when he spoke to others. But not with Adrienne. Adrienne is his cupcake bluberry muffine head, yes she is. "Hey! Gimme your drink!"
The man looked up. He was taken aback. He said, "I shall give this drink to no one, you muggle!"
Billie shrugged and offered "I'll buy it from you for twenty bucks."
The man leapt up with joy and said, "Yes! Now I can go buy that new Robo-puppy I saw at Toys R Us!" He took the twenty bucks. He gave the beaker to Billie.
Billie gave the beaker to Adrienne. Adrienne looked at the dubious label on the beaker. It read "Essence of Aphrodisiac. Property of Voldie-moo".
She shrugged and drank it, feeling much better. Suddenly, she turned to her husband with a strange look in her eye...
"Billie, I'm thirsty," Adrienne said.
"Of course you are, honey biscuit. We'll get you something to drink, because I love you so much, yes I do." Billie replied in a goo-goo voice while patting Adrienne on the head. She has always found it just a little disconcerting that he treated her like a four year old, but knew that there was no way around it.
Flashback
"Billie." Adrienne said
"Yes, Adie-sweet pea potato pie cuddliums?" Billie replied
"Um, could you maybe stop with the nicknames, the coddling, and the scary pampering?" she asked
"What? What are you saying? You don't love me anymore! That's what you're saying isn't it? Isn't it?" Billie cried hysterically and ran off like a 12 year old with horrendous PMS. Adrienne sighed and went after him.
"Billie..." she said, putting an arm on his shoulder. "I love you. I love so much it hurts. We'll make a deal. You stop pampering me so damn much, and I'll let you snuggle me and call me your strange nicknames."
"Deal!" said Billie and he threw an arm around her and kissed her. Into her mouth he mumbled, "I love you too my buttery lumpkin sugar face." Adrienne sighed.
End of flashback
Adrienne sighed and shuddered at the thought of the memory. The deal was long forgotten and she was continually treated like a retard by her retard of a husband. Why the hell did she love him? Oh well, she did. Now where the hell was he?
"Billie!" she called, wandering through the park. "Billie! Where are you?" After ten minutes, she found him wandering around the park just like she was. She went up to him. "Billie, where did you go? Why are you wandering around? And why is there an octopus on your ankle?" Billie looked down to see an octopus on his ankle.
He picked it off and threw it away. No more octopuses.
"Adie-looloo," he said, "I was looking for a vending machine so I could by my fuzzy bunny poo a drink, yes I was." And so, our happy couple wandered around looking for a vending machine, when Billie spotted a man with a beaker full of something.
"Hey you! Fucker!" Billie Joe called out to the man. He was normal, or as normal as he can be, when he spoke to others. But not with Adrienne. Adrienne is his cupcake bluberry muffine head, yes she is. "Hey! Gimme your drink!"
The man looked up. He was taken aback. He said, "I shall give this drink to no one, you muggle!"
Billie shrugged and offered "I'll buy it from you for twenty bucks."
The man leapt up with joy and said, "Yes! Now I can go buy that new Robo-puppy I saw at Toys R Us!" He took the twenty bucks. He gave the beaker to Billie.
Billie gave the beaker to Adrienne. Adrienne looked at the dubious label on the beaker. It read "Essence of Aphrodisiac. Property of Voldie-moo".
She shrugged and drank it, feeling much better. Suddenly, she turned to her husband with a strange look in her eye...