Burning Out Bright

Twelve years old
“You can stop right there, Eric.” Jennifer’s tone is cold, not unlike the harsh winter which was upon them. “I heard from the other parents in the Association that you’ve been dating and dumping many of the girls-”

Eric laughs mirthlessly, cutting their mother off. Adam flinches slightly at that sound. He no longer needs to eavesdrop into their conversations simply because their disagreements-and that’s putting it mildly-are spiraling out of control, becoming something extremely public. The precious image Jennifer treasures is slowly slipping out of her reach because of Eric’s rebellion.

“Look, you can’t control everything that I do. Let’s not kid ourselves—I’m doing something you dislike and you’re doing everything that I hate. We can’t stand each other and there’s no way in hell that we’ll ever have a normal relationship. So I’ll just keep out of trouble and you keep your nose out of my art scholarship. Deal?”

Adam shakes his head and resists the urge to bang it against his study table. This is not the way to deal with their mother. He stands up, realizing that there’s absolutely no point in pretending to do his homework when he can’t even concentrate on it. Venturing towards the kitchen for a glass of water, he hopes for a break from his family.

Unfortunately, one doesn’t always get what one wishes for and though this principle couldn’t be more evident in Adam’s life, the heavens decide to demonstrate it again for Adam has misjudged the direction of the fight and has headed straight towards the scene of the fight.

Up close, he has the perfect view of his mother’s reaction to Eric. Her eyes turn hard, her tone even frostier than before. “If you think you’re getting out of this so easily, you’re wrong. It’s your problem if you want to ruin your reputation by being nothing more than a flirt but your scholarship is something I have everything right to decide against and I will discuss it with your father. I refuse to speak again about this subject.”

It is clear that Jennifer Kingston feels that she has thoroughly dismissed her son and Eric knows it too; the veins in his neck are popping out from the strain of reining in his temper.

Adam feels as though he should make his presence known at this point but is uncertain of how to go about it, having already overheard so much that he really shouldn’t have. It may have been a public fight but he can’t help but feel like an intruder, trespassing on private property.

Just then Eric lets out another short laugh, attracting Jennifer’s attention again. “You can go ahead and do that, Mother. I know that Dad will let me apply for the scholarship. You can screw with my emotions but you’re not going to screw with my life.”

He leaves the kitchen, barely even noticing Adam and not bothering to check on his mother’s reaction. Adam waits for a couple of seconds before entering the kitchen nonchalantly, as though he hadn’t heard their entire conversation and calmly pours a glass of water before slowly sipping it.

Jennifer has managed to compose herself, retreating back into the façade of motherly concern she always hides behind when it comes to Adam. She appraises Adam-from his ruffled brown hair to his scruffy clothes and asks, with ill masked disdain, “I heard from Bella that you failed your last Science project. Why didn’t you say anything about it?”

Adam’s body tense but Jennifer doesn’t recognize the reluctance he has towards this topic, waiting expectantly for an answer. Feeling the weight of his mother’s gaze on him, he shrugs. “I haven’t gotten around to telling you.”

“But…you had your results for a full week.”

He takes another sip of water, trying to swallow a spiteful reply which threatens to slip. Such a comment would definitely drive his mother over the edge and who knows what would happen then? Selective listening and tolerance are still the best weapons to defend one when facing Jennifer, so he tries again. “I’ve been pretty busy with school stuff.”

“Adam, don’t make excuses for your mistakes. It’s unbecoming.”

His gaze snaps up from his glass of water to his mother’s face. She looks completely normal, he thinks, as though this project is just something that I can’t live up to and decided to blow off. Feeling exhausted, he replies, “I’m sorry, okay? I wouldn’t do it again.”

Jennifer should’ve been satisfied with this apology and let him off. But her nerves are frazzled by Eric. So she makes a snap decision to keep Adam on a tighter rein instead, afraid that he would follow his brother and choose to do something disappointing and completely against her wishes, like Eric. With this vicious thought in mind, she shakes her head. “It’s a simple project. I didn’t think that you would slack off like this, Adam. I’m disappointed in you.”

Adam tightens his jaw, looking away from his mother.

“Because of this, I think that you deserve a punishment. You’re grounded for a month.”

He blinks slowly, feeling completely surreal. Is this what he thought it was?

“You may feel that it’s unfair treatment but it is only something that you can blame yourself for. You could’ve completed your project-”

“Blame?” repeats Adam, softly to himself. That one work is all his suppressed resentment needs to unleash itself. It grins maliciously, eager that this moment-the moment where he is completely, entirely, utterly spent-has arrived. It leans forward, shoving the annoying human conscience aside, and whispers all the right words to say. It cackles and takes a seat to enjoy the view as Adam glares at his mother and explodes. “You can’t possibly say that I should be blamed-”

“Of course you should.” The air has changed and Jennifer suddenly finds it challenging to meet her son’s accusing stare. It’s ridiculous the way he glares at her. He shouldn’t get away with it. With some difficulty, Jennifer manages a reply. “You failed your project and that is that.”

“Do you even have a clue what the project is about?”

She fidgets, uneasy and doesn’t respond.

“So you don’t have a clue and here you are, telling me about blame. The stupid project’s all about our genes and how certain traits may be hereditary. I’m supposed to make a chart about what I’ve inherited from my family but I couldn’t do it. You’re too busy, all the time, with Eric and his drama. What’s the point of asking you to sit down and let me try to do it anyway?”

Jennifer’s jaw grows slack and with some satisfaction, Adam continues, his tone gaining in power, “Besides, even if I could get you to do it, do I really want to know? Do I really want to find out that I’m in any way similar to you? That I’m be similar to someone who keeps enforcing her will upon others who don’t appreciate it? I don’t think so.”

He smiles sadly at her, frustrations voiced. “I don’t think so.”

His mother rises impressively fast and crosses towards him, slapping him in one swift motion. Her eyes are red rimmed, her expression equal parts anger and fear. “Don’t you dare to speak to me like that, Adam!”

Adam’s eyes sting. What else can he expect from his mother? Some sign that she would change?

He walks away from her, heading towards the door. He needs to get away from here.

“You can’t just leave… I’m not done with you.” Jennifer stares at him. What is he acting like this? When did he become like that, an almost perfect replica of Eric? Leaving her behind?

Adam knows that this, of all things, didn’t need an affirmation. But still, he turns around and looks back at her small, frightened face. Quietly, he says, "Watch me."

And then he's gone.