A Million Little Stars

Taylor wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him. That was not the plan. The plan was to remain little Taylor. Little silent Taylor. To shy away from whatever feelings she might have had. But this guy’s space was… intoxicating. She couldn’t describe the effect it had on her. She couldn’t stay away from him. In the end, it was just a mess.

But I bet you’re wondering what I mean. Let’s backtrack a bit. Back to the first day they met.

Taylor’s best friend, Sierra, was the one to introduce him. Oh Sierra Matthews. She was the girl. She had everything Taylor wanted. She was a drop dead gorgeous brunette with a perfect smile and a flawless social record. Taylor had been friends with her so long. Since they were in grade school. Taylor had always been the sidekick in the passenger seat. She was too shy and naïve to drive.

Having Sierra always around made Taylor feel incompetent. She was never good enough. She never got the invites (always the plus one), the prestige (always a thank you in the acceptance speech), or the boyfriends (always the third wheel). And this situation was no different.

It was the first day of Taylor’s senior year. It was like it had always been. Sierra picked her up in her red convertible and they drove to school together. Sierra was excited for the new year, but to Taylor it was just one last year of hiding in Sierra’s shadows.

The girls walked into school and were surrounded by the chaotic mess of new and old students. Many came up to them and greeted them asking awkward questions like, “How was your summer?” and “You excited to be back?” The answers were reciprocated and they moved on. Tried and true confrontations.

They got their schedules. “What’s first for you?” Taylor asked her best friend.

“Volleyball,” Sierra read off her paper. “What about you?”

“European History,” Taylor smiled to herself.

“Why do you take that crap? It’s not even a required class,” Sierra walked her down the main hall.

“I like history. It’s fun,” Taylor’s smile held as she explained herself.

“I would not use fun as an adjective for any core class, but you have your opinion. I got to go this way. I’ll see you at lunch,” Sierra spun towards the girl’s locker room.

Taylor continued down the main hall and turned left towards the history hall. Room 139. She opened the door and looked into the room. It was simple. By that she meant blank of any of the usual bulletin boards and inspirational posters that most classes had. She went inside and took a seat in the front. The teacher turned from his computer, “Swifty!”

“Hello, Mr. Walters,” Taylor said with a smile. She had had the teacher last year for American History and he had grown quite fond of her. Their friendship was the main reason for her taking European this year.

“I knew you had come in here! The lights were blocked out for a couple seconds until you sat down,” he smiled, mocking her.

“Haha, yes. I know. Taylor’s tall,” Taylor acted annoyed, but it was just the game they played.

She looked around. A few familiar faces she had seen at Sierra’s parties, but the class was small. A few more unfamiliar faces came in before the late bell rang. Mr. Walters took his seat at the front of the classroom.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by the door flying open. Everyone turned to see who it was.

He stood in the doorway, standing a little more on one foot than the other. His schedule slightly crumpled in his hand. His eyes scanned the room before landing on Taylor. She gave a little gasp. They were insanely blue. Electric.

Mr. Walter’s board voice broke a layer of silence that Taylor didn’t know was there, “Punctuality is the art of guessing how late the other fellow is going to be.” They both turned to look towards the teacher, “Voltaire.” Mr. Walter’s was smiling like a know-it-all. “Please take a seat.”

His lips pursed and his eyes searched the room again for an open seat. “Where?” his voice was slightly impatient but not a bit rude.

Mr. Walters took a look around the room. He was used to the arrangement so it didn’t take him long to find the boy a seat. “Behind Swifty,” he pointed at Taylor in the front row.

Taylor felt overcome with embarrassment but she had to recover. He was coming towards her. She looked up towards his face. His eyes weren’t on her this time. Instead, they were eyeing the desk that he was about to sit at. He fell out of sight and she heard the seat squeak when he sat down.

The next ninety minutes weren’t spent very wisely. Instead of the listening Taylor should have been doing as Mr. Walters went on about class rules, lesson plan, etc., she spent her time trying to piece together the boy’s face. She was so hyperaware of him sitting behind her. She tried desperately not to hunch or itch or anything else that would make her seem less than comfortable.

The lecture finished early and Mr. Walters went back to his computer. Taylor watched the clock and counted down the two minutes she had remaining. She felt a tap on her shoulder. She felt her bones freeze and as she turned around they cracked under the pressure like icicles. She saw his face. It was still the same one that had been floating through her mind. Black cropped hair, blue eyes, and a sweet smile.

“Hey,” he said simply. “Swifty?” He wasn’t quite sure that was her name.

Taylor sighed and tried to make it sound like a laugh, “Yeah. That’s what Mr. Walters calls me. But Taylor will do just fine incase you need to address me. Taylor Swift.” She was unsure about every word that came out of her mouth. She couldn’t judge her tone or the effect it was having on him.

“Ah Taylor. That’s better. I’m Thomas Dutton. I’m new from Seattle,” he smiled light heartedly. A smile that rivaled the stars.

Taylor looked down and saw his hand extended toward her. Her brain twitched and sputtered but somehow her hand found his. She tried to judge his hand. Soft towards the center but more calloused on the fingers.

“You play guitar?” he asked as he let her hand go.

She pulled it back. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who had been judging. She tucked a blonde curl behind her ear, “Yeah. I do. A bit.”

“Oh sweet. We should jam sometime,” he smiled.

Taylor felt her body warm and fizz, “Yeah. Of course.” He was so cute and she was so scared. He looked at her through his electric blue eyes. She could see his brain working by the way he stared off a bit. “What is it?” she asked, desperate to know what he was thinking.

He opened his mouth but it took him a minute to speak. A minute to think about it. “You just look really familiar. You ever been to Seattle?”

She shook her head, “No I can’t say I have.”

The bell rang and interrupted their conversation. This was Taylor’s chance to make a move. She had too.

“Do you want to sit with me and my friends at lunch?” she vomited the words out. She looked to his face. He looked surprised. She tried to explain, expecting rejection, “It’s just your new here and stuff. I thought I should offer.”

“No. No.” he said shaking his head. “I’d like that.” He paused. “Now I just hope I can find the lunch room.”

Taylor smiled. “Oh, it’s easy. Everyone eats in the courtyard in the center of the school. Just ask someone to point it out to you.”

Thomas stood up and Taylor followed they walked towards the door. “Okay,” he nodded as they passed the doorway. “I’ll see you then, Swifty.” He turned left down the hall and disappeared into a mess of students.

“Bye, Thomas,” Taylor whispered to herself as she watched him drift out of sight.

It was all over now. The story had been written. The first chapter in romance that Taylor was already writing in her head. She had bad habits of building guys up in her mind. She would build them to be her prince. Her true love. And this situation was no different.

Taylor contemplated through her next block. This Thomas fellow was branching his limbs out in her mind, adhering himself to the walls. By lunch she was buzzing. She looked for him everywhere. She couldn’t find him. Maybe he found new friends. Someone prettier or funnier.

Then, it happened. Something she will never forget. She heard his voice. His smooth calm voice. She turned, she anticipated a smile. Then she heard her laugh. She didn't mean her own laugh. No. It was Sierra’s laugh.

Taylor’s head was fully turned toward the noise by now and she almost dropped her bag at what she saw. Sierra and Thomas were walking side-by-side with their arms looped together. They looked like… a couple.

Taylor stood still and watched them get closer. Watched them get sucked into her gravity. Or was she being sucked into thiers?

“Taylor!” Sierra let go and ran over. She jumped on her best friend. She was so happy.

“Hey Sierra,” Taylor said. Her voice was weak as she stared at Thomas through the brunette’s hair.

Sierra pulled away and grabbed Taylor’s arm. “Come here. I want you to meet someone,” she said excitedly.

Taylor let herself be pulled though she didn’t have a choice.

“This is Th-“ she was interrupted.

“We’ve met,” he said. His eyes smiled down at her.

“You have?” Sierra’s eagerness subsided. She looked to Taylor.

Taylor felt stared down by both of them. When she spoke her voice was very quite, “Yeah. He’s in my euro class.”

Sierra took the answer, “Oh but I was so excited to introduce you to my boyfriend!”

Taylor’s shoulders came close and she felt all of her muscles cramp. She tried to speak but it was so hard for her, “How… did you meet?”

“He is my next door neighbor. He moved in while you were at music camp. I wanted to tell you. I really did but I decided to surprise you,” Sierra smiled.

“Well… I am surprised that’s for sure,” Taylor looked to the ground.

“Well. I’m starving. Let’s go get in line,” Sierra grabbed them both and dragged them towards the lunch line.

Taylor wanted to go home and die for her embarrassment. She couldn’t believe that she was actually falling love with him so quickly. She was so short sighted. She couldn’t look at him. All she could think was that she couldn’t let herself keep loving him. She just couldn’t.