Blooming

As my mother sped her way in and out of cars to the doctor, I found comfort in watching the sun come up. It was the morning after I’d told her and my father the news of my pregnancy and Mom had already called the doctor. So here we were.
“So,” I started, hoping she’d finally talk to me. We hadn’t spoken since the night before and even then it was only when we were yelling at each other. When I didn’t get a response, I sighed.
“Mom,” I whined. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. But there’s nothing we can do about it now.” I surprised myself at my sudden optimism. Lucy was getting to me, it seemed.
She kept her eyes on the road with a straight face.
“Fine. I guess we’ll just talk when the baby is born. That’ll work out nicely.” I said sarcastically, determined to get some form of communication out of her.
Finally, she sighed and gripped the wheel tighter.
“Savannah, I just can’t believe this is happening.” The last part came out as a cry and I soon noticed the tears streaming down her face.. I put my hand to my head and covered my face, hoping she wouldn’t see the water works she’d turned on for my behalf.
“I know.” I answered as calmly as I could. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, that it was never my intention to hurt her. I wanted to tell her that I was scared and wished I could take it all back and pretend like it never happened. But this was reality and in reality, nothing ever works out the way you want it to in your head. We drove the rest of the way in silence.
As we finally neared the hospital, my heart started to race again. There were a thousand possibilities running through my mind. Was there really a baby living inside me or were the tests wrong? If I was carrying a child, would it be okay? What were options?
“Savannah Fare.” I heard my mother say when we approached the front desk. I took a seat in one of the many chairs surrounding a small coffee table with a dozen magazines on it. I thought about looking at one but I knew it wouldn’t be able to keep my attention. Instead, I surrendered to my thoughts.
The waiting room was quiet, it was early enough that nobody other than my mom, and I occupied it. There were pictures of the ocean all around, as if it would make anybody’s trip here more enjoyable. The walls were plain white whereas the floor was tan and out the window I could see our car, one of only three in the parking lot. Next to the receptionists’ desk, there was a small palm tree, reaching about as tall as me, in a yellow pot.
“Savannah?” I was suddenly awaken from my reverie by the doctor calling out my name.
My mother and I got up and walked over to the doorway at which he was standing.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I took a deep breath.
“No,” I stated. “But I don’t know if I ever will be.”
With that, the three of us walked through the door, allowing fate to catch up with us.