Zombie Josh and Everything Except Bandom
Enter the Ramen
The night before the Clandestine Everything Except Bandom Tour officially begins, Pete Wentz throws a party at Angels and Kings. Beforehand, he invites Zombie Josh to his place - for a pep talk, apparently, full of things that Spencer's already read about but didn't actually believe.
"Watch out for Bill," he says, "it doesn't matter who you are, he will attempt to get into your pants." (This is a well-known fact, of course, but exaggerated quite a bit.) "Brendon's nice enough, but can get a bit tiring if you're not used to him." (Brendon Urie, Spencer knows, has ADHD. So does Marc. Spencer's not expecting him to be too bad.) "If things get too rough, try to find Andy, he's good with these things." (Spencer knows of Andy Hurley's Special Mystic Vegan Powers. That's not to say he actually believes in them.) "Oh," Pete adds, almost as an afterthought, "and try not to let Bert get you alone." (This is the only one Spencer believes fully. He does not want to be spat on, come on, or vomited on tonight. Or any other time, for that matter. He makes a mental note to travel with companionship at all times on the tour.)
They climb into a black SUV with Pete and Ashley, who's "only gonna be there for the first hour, mom can't sit with Bronx for too long". Pete leans through into the back seat, and says conspiratorially, "she just doesn't like the gay." Marc grins wildly, Victor looks slightly taken aback, Heather laughs nervously, and Spencer isn't sure weather to believe him or not.
They arrive at Angels and Kings around 10 p.m., and Pete ushers them through the lobby to have their mugshots taken before he "lets them loose". They spend the next quarter-hour huddled in a corner, being starstruck by all the beautiful people, until Pete appears in front of them with Gabe Saporta.
"You guys look lonely," he says, waving a glass around, "this is Gabe." Heather says, "we know." Gabe looks her up and down, smiles broadly, and says "hey". Pete does the rest of the introductions, then half-waves at someone across the room.
"So, I'm going to go mingle," he announces. "Gabe's gonna introduce you to everyone else." Marc looks rather excited at the prospect of a tour of various pop/punk/emo bands with G-A-B-E as a tour guide. Spencer's rather excited himself - and more than a little worried.
Gabe puts a hand on Heather's and Spencer's shoulders and steers them through the crowd, with Marc bouncing along beside them and Victor hanging back a little.
"Zombie Josh, Panic! at the Disco," he says, "Panic! at the Disco, meet Zombie Josh. This is Spencer, Marc, Heather and Vicky." Victor twitches. A smile splits Brendon's face, and he almost leaps forward to seize their hands in turn. "Zombie Josh, oh my god, Pete played me your album, you guys are great! Which one of you writes the music? It's kind of genius, I wish I wrote Heteronormativity, it's going to be big!"
Spencer laughs a little. He's not quite sure if Brendon's been put up to this, to acting up for the new guys, or if he's actually always like this.
The other Spencer steps forward, puts a hand on Brendon's shoulder. "Brendon," he says warningly, and Brendon pouts at him, before spotting someone across the room, shrieking "Shane!" excitedly, and bounding off.
This is the first inkling Spencer gets of how right the internet actually is.
The second one he gets is when he wakes up the next morning with William Beckett.
William Beckett says, "Hi. How do you like your eggs?"
Spencer says, "preferably unfertilised," and groans into the pillow.
William Beckett laughs.
***
The first official day of the tour is rather hectic. The stadium is already set up when they get there, and Zombie Josh sound check first; they're also playing first, on at 5 p.m. for a half-hour set. For sound check they run through Panicking At Someone Else's Disco, much to Brendon's amusement, and then Tron, and then they're being ushered offstage, past the Cab, and back to where the buses are parked.
The Academy Is... and Cobra Starship are spread out on various fold-out outdoor furniture, along with various members of All Time Low, My Chemical Romance, and one Bert McCracken, who is sitting cross-legged on a plastic chair glaring at Gerard Way, who, in turn, is staring nervously at his feet. William Beckett looks up at the band, smirks, and gestures for Spencer to sit down next to him. Spencer blushes, but does so anyway. Heather snorts at him as Bill slings a long limb loosely over his shoulders.
"So, Zombie Josh," Bill says dramatically, "life on a Fueled By Ramen tour."
Frank Iero protests at that, but is shushed by Adam Siska, whom Marc is having much fun with. ("Marco!" "Sisky-o!" "Marco!" "Sisky-o!")
"It's kind of," Spencer starts, then stops, not sure exactly what to say. It's everything he expected, but then, at the same time, he wasn't expecting it to be like he expected at all. He decides to stop using the word 'expected' because he's starting to get off-topic and wonder why the word 'expected' is spelled like that, and why it means what it means, and why it's just a word in the first place. He's about to say something about being starstruck almost constantly, and how everybody's exactly like he imagined, when Heather beats him to it.
"It's just like I thought it would be," she says, grinning widely, and Bill laughs.
***
The band plays a few songs off Gainsville to a surprisingly enthused crowd of fourteen-year-olds, who bounce around like, well, fourteen-year-olds at a pop-punk gig. When they play Vicky Valentine the kids sing along. Marc's face is shining behind the drum kit, Heather's laughing out loud into the mic instead of singing backup like she's supposed to, and even Victor's got a smile on his face. After the set, Spencer says something predictably Fueled By Ramen frontmanesque, and is surprised he actually feels like a Fueled By Ramen frontman.
When he moves from backstage to in front of the stage, to watch with the punters, he gets asked for his autograph by a grand total of six girls and two boys. He's sweaty, happy, and too blissed out by the feeling of being a rockstar to care when Heather punches some gross Used fan in the face for groping her.
***
Spencer and Heather are sharing a box of Pocky that they managed to find in an Asian food store in the last town when Heather points something out to him. “Gabe Saporta,” she says, slowly, and Spencer says, “yeah, what about him?”
“I think he likes you,” Heather smiles.
Spencer frowns. “No. Really?”
“Look,” and Spencer does, glancing up at the right moment. Bill and Gabe are sitting a while away, long legs tangled together, and Gabe's staring at him with this weird half-smitten half-hungry look on his face that Spencer has only ever seen on him when he looks at Bill. He looks back at the box, shocked.
“Oh,” he says, eyes wide.
“Yeah,” Heather says, and laughs.
The next morning he wakes up on the Cobra Starship bus, and has a little trouble remembering how he got there. He remembers hands on his hips, lips soft on the back of his neck, someone laughing “be gentle with him, guys,” - he winces, as apparently focusing too hard on any one thing is terrible for hangovers.
There's a purple hoodie draped over the corner of the bunk.
He's in the middle of rubbing his head and wondering what happened when Gabe and Bill wander into his vision, fingers tangled. Gabe smirks at him. "Morning, sunshine."
Spencer feels mildly sick.
"I'm not gay, you know," he says, and Bill and Gabe both laugh. "Sure," says Gabe. "Keep telling yourself that," says Bill.
"Watch out for Bill," he says, "it doesn't matter who you are, he will attempt to get into your pants." (This is a well-known fact, of course, but exaggerated quite a bit.) "Brendon's nice enough, but can get a bit tiring if you're not used to him." (Brendon Urie, Spencer knows, has ADHD. So does Marc. Spencer's not expecting him to be too bad.) "If things get too rough, try to find Andy, he's good with these things." (Spencer knows of Andy Hurley's Special Mystic Vegan Powers. That's not to say he actually believes in them.) "Oh," Pete adds, almost as an afterthought, "and try not to let Bert get you alone." (This is the only one Spencer believes fully. He does not want to be spat on, come on, or vomited on tonight. Or any other time, for that matter. He makes a mental note to travel with companionship at all times on the tour.)
They climb into a black SUV with Pete and Ashley, who's "only gonna be there for the first hour, mom can't sit with Bronx for too long". Pete leans through into the back seat, and says conspiratorially, "she just doesn't like the gay." Marc grins wildly, Victor looks slightly taken aback, Heather laughs nervously, and Spencer isn't sure weather to believe him or not.
They arrive at Angels and Kings around 10 p.m., and Pete ushers them through the lobby to have their mugshots taken before he "lets them loose". They spend the next quarter-hour huddled in a corner, being starstruck by all the beautiful people, until Pete appears in front of them with Gabe Saporta.
"You guys look lonely," he says, waving a glass around, "this is Gabe." Heather says, "we know." Gabe looks her up and down, smiles broadly, and says "hey". Pete does the rest of the introductions, then half-waves at someone across the room.
"So, I'm going to go mingle," he announces. "Gabe's gonna introduce you to everyone else." Marc looks rather excited at the prospect of a tour of various pop/punk/emo bands with G-A-B-E as a tour guide. Spencer's rather excited himself - and more than a little worried.
Gabe puts a hand on Heather's and Spencer's shoulders and steers them through the crowd, with Marc bouncing along beside them and Victor hanging back a little.
"Zombie Josh, Panic! at the Disco," he says, "Panic! at the Disco, meet Zombie Josh. This is Spencer, Marc, Heather and Vicky." Victor twitches. A smile splits Brendon's face, and he almost leaps forward to seize their hands in turn. "Zombie Josh, oh my god, Pete played me your album, you guys are great! Which one of you writes the music? It's kind of genius, I wish I wrote Heteronormativity, it's going to be big!"
Spencer laughs a little. He's not quite sure if Brendon's been put up to this, to acting up for the new guys, or if he's actually always like this.
The other Spencer steps forward, puts a hand on Brendon's shoulder. "Brendon," he says warningly, and Brendon pouts at him, before spotting someone across the room, shrieking "Shane!" excitedly, and bounding off.
This is the first inkling Spencer gets of how right the internet actually is.
The second one he gets is when he wakes up the next morning with William Beckett.
William Beckett says, "Hi. How do you like your eggs?"
Spencer says, "preferably unfertilised," and groans into the pillow.
William Beckett laughs.
***
The first official day of the tour is rather hectic. The stadium is already set up when they get there, and Zombie Josh sound check first; they're also playing first, on at 5 p.m. for a half-hour set. For sound check they run through Panicking At Someone Else's Disco, much to Brendon's amusement, and then Tron, and then they're being ushered offstage, past the Cab, and back to where the buses are parked.
The Academy Is... and Cobra Starship are spread out on various fold-out outdoor furniture, along with various members of All Time Low, My Chemical Romance, and one Bert McCracken, who is sitting cross-legged on a plastic chair glaring at Gerard Way, who, in turn, is staring nervously at his feet. William Beckett looks up at the band, smirks, and gestures for Spencer to sit down next to him. Spencer blushes, but does so anyway. Heather snorts at him as Bill slings a long limb loosely over his shoulders.
"So, Zombie Josh," Bill says dramatically, "life on a Fueled By Ramen tour."
Frank Iero protests at that, but is shushed by Adam Siska, whom Marc is having much fun with. ("Marco!" "Sisky-o!" "Marco!" "Sisky-o!")
"It's kind of," Spencer starts, then stops, not sure exactly what to say. It's everything he expected, but then, at the same time, he wasn't expecting it to be like he expected at all. He decides to stop using the word 'expected' because he's starting to get off-topic and wonder why the word 'expected' is spelled like that, and why it means what it means, and why it's just a word in the first place. He's about to say something about being starstruck almost constantly, and how everybody's exactly like he imagined, when Heather beats him to it.
"It's just like I thought it would be," she says, grinning widely, and Bill laughs.
***
The band plays a few songs off Gainsville to a surprisingly enthused crowd of fourteen-year-olds, who bounce around like, well, fourteen-year-olds at a pop-punk gig. When they play Vicky Valentine the kids sing along. Marc's face is shining behind the drum kit, Heather's laughing out loud into the mic instead of singing backup like she's supposed to, and even Victor's got a smile on his face. After the set, Spencer says something predictably Fueled By Ramen frontmanesque, and is surprised he actually feels like a Fueled By Ramen frontman.
When he moves from backstage to in front of the stage, to watch with the punters, he gets asked for his autograph by a grand total of six girls and two boys. He's sweaty, happy, and too blissed out by the feeling of being a rockstar to care when Heather punches some gross Used fan in the face for groping her.
***
Spencer and Heather are sharing a box of Pocky that they managed to find in an Asian food store in the last town when Heather points something out to him. “Gabe Saporta,” she says, slowly, and Spencer says, “yeah, what about him?”
“I think he likes you,” Heather smiles.
Spencer frowns. “No. Really?”
“Look,” and Spencer does, glancing up at the right moment. Bill and Gabe are sitting a while away, long legs tangled together, and Gabe's staring at him with this weird half-smitten half-hungry look on his face that Spencer has only ever seen on him when he looks at Bill. He looks back at the box, shocked.
“Oh,” he says, eyes wide.
“Yeah,” Heather says, and laughs.
The next morning he wakes up on the Cobra Starship bus, and has a little trouble remembering how he got there. He remembers hands on his hips, lips soft on the back of his neck, someone laughing “be gentle with him, guys,” - he winces, as apparently focusing too hard on any one thing is terrible for hangovers.
There's a purple hoodie draped over the corner of the bunk.
He's in the middle of rubbing his head and wondering what happened when Gabe and Bill wander into his vision, fingers tangled. Gabe smirks at him. "Morning, sunshine."
Spencer feels mildly sick.
"I'm not gay, you know," he says, and Bill and Gabe both laugh. "Sure," says Gabe. "Keep telling yourself that," says Bill.