Fragments of a Broken Mind
Chapter 9
*TIME ELAPSE*
“I don’t get it!” I whined in frustration as we tried to work out what Gerard had done that day, “he was quiet sure but he was always quiet. What happened to him? What was it?”
Ray put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently, “I doubt we have all the clues yet Mikey, it will take time to figure it out,” Ray sighed, frustrated himself and ran a hand through his rather wild looking hair. “I wish we could work this one out because I want nothing more than to get my friend back,” he paused, “I miss him more him I can say and it is tearing me apart to see him as he is.”
I put my hand on Rays arm sympathetically, “I know how you feel. I mean, its like he is there and you can see him but you can’t speak to him. He was always there for me and now I need to talk to him and get his advise but I can’t… it is just wrong to me and goes against all that’s natural. Do you think he found looking after me such a burden?”
“You know he didn’t Mikey,” Ray replied smoothly.
“But Mum say’s that…”
“Now Mikey you know better than to dwell on what she says to you,” Ray said softly, his eyes locking with mine, “you know Gerard would say the same thing if he… well, just know that he would say the same.”
I looked down and inspected my nails, “I know Ray but… but what if she is right?” I sighed and wriggled slightly on the chair, “I mean, he has nightmares about taking care of me and that is the position he is in… well… was,” I looked out the window and watched Gerard playing with our mother, “he looks so happy and I can’t help but wonder if I was too much.”
Ray clicked his tongue in disapproval and followed my gaze, “in the state he is in now he wouldn’t be able to look after you and it would freak him out. The fact he is dreaming it shows that on some level he knows that it happened,” he moved away from me and looked out the window. “She is just using it against you because she can see it is hurting you. She wants to drive a wedge between you two as you have always been close and this is her opportunity.”
“Ray is right,” Frank said from the doorway. I gave a start as I hadn’t known he was there at all. He came over and sat in my lap, “baby, you have done nothing to cause this and you know it deep down. Don’t listen to Donna about this baby. In fact, don’t listen to her about anything OK?” he ran a hand over my cheek and into my hair, “promise me that?” he asked as he pulled my close to his face. I nodded slightly and he kissed me deeply. “We will find out why he went from us and we will bring him back.”
Our mother came in with Gerard at that moment and scowled when she saw Frank in my lap. I ignored her and looked instead at my brother who was smiling, “Ready for some food Gee-Gee?” I asked.
Gerard looked up at our mother and then back at me, “Can I go to Mum’s for a while?” he asked, “she says that I can and I want to… please say I can?”
“I… I…,” the bottom fell out of my world and judging by her look of triumph she had known it would. Frank tightened his arm and when I looked at him he nodded almost indiscernibly. I swallowed hard and fought against my own instincts to forbid it, “of course you can go Gee-Gee, do you need anything packing?”
“I will go and help him,” Ray said as he took Gerard’s hand and led him from the room.
“I can’t let him stay here with your influence,” she said coldly as she looked pointedly at me and Frank. “Don’t think this makes you welcome at my house as it most certainly does not. If I have my way you will never see your brother again.”
I gripped Frank, “Gerard has a say too, not just you and I doubt he will agree.”
“We shall see,” She hissed, “I’ll be in the car!” she called, stalking from the house. When Gerard left my painted smile dissolved into tears and nothing anyone said could console me. He was gone and maybe he was gone forever.
“I don’t get it!” I whined in frustration as we tried to work out what Gerard had done that day, “he was quiet sure but he was always quiet. What happened to him? What was it?”
Ray put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently, “I doubt we have all the clues yet Mikey, it will take time to figure it out,” Ray sighed, frustrated himself and ran a hand through his rather wild looking hair. “I wish we could work this one out because I want nothing more than to get my friend back,” he paused, “I miss him more him I can say and it is tearing me apart to see him as he is.”
I put my hand on Rays arm sympathetically, “I know how you feel. I mean, its like he is there and you can see him but you can’t speak to him. He was always there for me and now I need to talk to him and get his advise but I can’t… it is just wrong to me and goes against all that’s natural. Do you think he found looking after me such a burden?”
“You know he didn’t Mikey,” Ray replied smoothly.
“But Mum say’s that…”
“Now Mikey you know better than to dwell on what she says to you,” Ray said softly, his eyes locking with mine, “you know Gerard would say the same thing if he… well, just know that he would say the same.”
I looked down and inspected my nails, “I know Ray but… but what if she is right?” I sighed and wriggled slightly on the chair, “I mean, he has nightmares about taking care of me and that is the position he is in… well… was,” I looked out the window and watched Gerard playing with our mother, “he looks so happy and I can’t help but wonder if I was too much.”
Ray clicked his tongue in disapproval and followed my gaze, “in the state he is in now he wouldn’t be able to look after you and it would freak him out. The fact he is dreaming it shows that on some level he knows that it happened,” he moved away from me and looked out the window. “She is just using it against you because she can see it is hurting you. She wants to drive a wedge between you two as you have always been close and this is her opportunity.”
“Ray is right,” Frank said from the doorway. I gave a start as I hadn’t known he was there at all. He came over and sat in my lap, “baby, you have done nothing to cause this and you know it deep down. Don’t listen to Donna about this baby. In fact, don’t listen to her about anything OK?” he ran a hand over my cheek and into my hair, “promise me that?” he asked as he pulled my close to his face. I nodded slightly and he kissed me deeply. “We will find out why he went from us and we will bring him back.”
Our mother came in with Gerard at that moment and scowled when she saw Frank in my lap. I ignored her and looked instead at my brother who was smiling, “Ready for some food Gee-Gee?” I asked.
Gerard looked up at our mother and then back at me, “Can I go to Mum’s for a while?” he asked, “she says that I can and I want to… please say I can?”
“I… I…,” the bottom fell out of my world and judging by her look of triumph she had known it would. Frank tightened his arm and when I looked at him he nodded almost indiscernibly. I swallowed hard and fought against my own instincts to forbid it, “of course you can go Gee-Gee, do you need anything packing?”
“I will go and help him,” Ray said as he took Gerard’s hand and led him from the room.
“I can’t let him stay here with your influence,” she said coldly as she looked pointedly at me and Frank. “Don’t think this makes you welcome at my house as it most certainly does not. If I have my way you will never see your brother again.”
I gripped Frank, “Gerard has a say too, not just you and I doubt he will agree.”
“We shall see,” She hissed, “I’ll be in the car!” she called, stalking from the house. When Gerard left my painted smile dissolved into tears and nothing anyone said could console me. He was gone and maybe he was gone forever.