Fragments of a Broken Mind
Chapter 12
*TIME ELAPSE*
“So, nothing happened?” I asked Ray for the hundredth time that night, “you gave him the book and nothing changed?” I already knew the answer was no but I asked anyway. It had been our only idea to bring Gerard back to us and the fact it had failed stung more than slightly.
Ray shook his head and sighed as he sipped the coffee, “I am bummed too man as I thought it would work. I was so prepared for it but he just took it and said the word ‘mine’ before carrying on with his games,” he sighed again, “I just stood and stared at him not knowing what to do next. I was so ready to get my best friend back and it hurt to see the lifeline we had fail like that. It hurt more than it did the first time I saw him all lost to us.”
Frank crossed to put a hand on our friends shoulder, “we will get him back, you know we will. Now we know the cause we will be able to bring him back Ray we just have to work out how,” Frank glanced at me, urging me with his eyes to add some reassurance.
“I think we will need more coffee,” is all I could say though as I just didn’t share Frank’s confidence about this whole thing. To me the bock had been our one chance of getting my brother back and that had failed. That and I was not sure I wanted to bring him back only to reject him in the way I had to. Frank rolled his eyes at me as I moved to pick up the coffee mugs but I just shrugged and made my way to the kitchen.
Once there I looked out off the window, watching the rain water splash down the glass. It was like watching tears run down a face I thought as I looked at the streaking patterns. Behind it was the darkness of the night shrouding the garden. I flicked on the kettle and got the coffee jar. As I did so I saw a movement outside and I caught sight of a figure in the garden. I turned on the light and started as I saw my brother trying to run into the shadows, “fuck, guys come quickly!” I cried as I wrenched open the door and ran into the rain.
I reached him as he had fallen and was huddled on the ground crying. He looked up at me and I knew instantly that he was back, “don’t touch me!” he whined softly.
“You don’t scare me,” I told him gently as I pulled him to his feet and into an embrace. “Come on inside and talk to us before you freeze,” I led him back to the house where Frank and Ray were inside the doorway. Ray already had a towel in his hands to dry Gerard as best he could and Frank had a blanket to wrap round him.
“You should all hate me,” Gerard said dejectedly, “you all know and you should hate me like I hate myself!”
“Why would we hate you?” Ray said to him, “so you have feelings for Mikey but in the end why should that matter?”
“The feelings are wrong; they are incest.”
“Only incest if we have a relationship Gee,” I said as I got another coffee mug, “until then they are just feelings and we will only react to them as such,” I made the coffee while the other two took him through to the lounge. I couldn’t help but smile as I had my brother back but the fact I now had to reject him made me shudder. I hoped I had the strength I needed for the act.
“So, nothing happened?” I asked Ray for the hundredth time that night, “you gave him the book and nothing changed?” I already knew the answer was no but I asked anyway. It had been our only idea to bring Gerard back to us and the fact it had failed stung more than slightly.
Ray shook his head and sighed as he sipped the coffee, “I am bummed too man as I thought it would work. I was so prepared for it but he just took it and said the word ‘mine’ before carrying on with his games,” he sighed again, “I just stood and stared at him not knowing what to do next. I was so ready to get my best friend back and it hurt to see the lifeline we had fail like that. It hurt more than it did the first time I saw him all lost to us.”
Frank crossed to put a hand on our friends shoulder, “we will get him back, you know we will. Now we know the cause we will be able to bring him back Ray we just have to work out how,” Frank glanced at me, urging me with his eyes to add some reassurance.
“I think we will need more coffee,” is all I could say though as I just didn’t share Frank’s confidence about this whole thing. To me the bock had been our one chance of getting my brother back and that had failed. That and I was not sure I wanted to bring him back only to reject him in the way I had to. Frank rolled his eyes at me as I moved to pick up the coffee mugs but I just shrugged and made my way to the kitchen.
Once there I looked out off the window, watching the rain water splash down the glass. It was like watching tears run down a face I thought as I looked at the streaking patterns. Behind it was the darkness of the night shrouding the garden. I flicked on the kettle and got the coffee jar. As I did so I saw a movement outside and I caught sight of a figure in the garden. I turned on the light and started as I saw my brother trying to run into the shadows, “fuck, guys come quickly!” I cried as I wrenched open the door and ran into the rain.
I reached him as he had fallen and was huddled on the ground crying. He looked up at me and I knew instantly that he was back, “don’t touch me!” he whined softly.
“You don’t scare me,” I told him gently as I pulled him to his feet and into an embrace. “Come on inside and talk to us before you freeze,” I led him back to the house where Frank and Ray were inside the doorway. Ray already had a towel in his hands to dry Gerard as best he could and Frank had a blanket to wrap round him.
“You should all hate me,” Gerard said dejectedly, “you all know and you should hate me like I hate myself!”
“Why would we hate you?” Ray said to him, “so you have feelings for Mikey but in the end why should that matter?”
“The feelings are wrong; they are incest.”
“Only incest if we have a relationship Gee,” I said as I got another coffee mug, “until then they are just feelings and we will only react to them as such,” I made the coffee while the other two took him through to the lounge. I couldn’t help but smile as I had my brother back but the fact I now had to reject him made me shudder. I hoped I had the strength I needed for the act.