Fragments of a Broken Mind
Chapter 15
*TIME ELAPSE*
It had only been a few days and even though Gerard visited it just felt wrong to me that he wasn’t staying here. I sighed for like the hundredth time that night and furrowed my brow as I tried to concentrate on the book on my lap. Frank swept his arm around me and put down his paper, “babe, he isn’t gone as such and he has to do this for himself. We should support him in that or we might really lose him.”
I let my book go and curled into him, “I know but it just isn’t right,” I wrapped my arms around him and looked into his eyes. “He has just always been here so he has left such a hole. I mean, I know I am the last person he would need to have go to him right now. Frankie, this is… well… this is just the sort of thing that I would talk to him about. I feel so lost… almost like Gerard has gone.”
He stroked my back and moved to kiss me, “he will get through this and we will all be together again,” Frank told me, “I… Can’t you talk to me?”
“Of course I can sugar, I trust you beyond anyone; you know that,” I pulled him tighter against me and kissed his neck. “Gerard has just always been there for me and I have grown to depend on the support which is the problem I guess.”
Frank wrinkled his nose at me, “huh?”
“The fact that I am so dependant on him has made it so these feelings he has have developed. Mother might have a point in that I have somehow caused this. Have I? I mean has me needing him by my side triggered this?”
Frank made a noise and moved to lift my chin with his hands so that our eyes could meet, “Gee has these feelings and nothing that you did or didn’t do made that happen. You said yourself that you don’t chose who you love.”
“But…”
“Hush babe. Gee has to get past this himself and in his own way,” he stroked my cheek and smiled, “besides, I am glad that you have chosen me because there is no way that I could ever get over you,” he kissed me, gently rubbing my tongue with his own. He raised his head and stared into my eyes. “Thank you for choosing me Mikey,” he whispered.
“I didn’t have a choice to make,” I replied as I began skating my hands under his shirt, “I love Gee but it is so different for my love for you. I love you so much Frankie and would die without you,” I reached to return the kiss, my eyes drifting closed as we both got lost in the moment, “don’t ever doubt my feelings sugar.”
“You made a choice; of course you did,” he told me, “Gee means so much to you and even though I know it is a different love I thought I would lose you. I remembered your reaction when he kissed you while he was lost. I know he claims to remember nothing but I bet that memory suck. He cried and cried thinking that you had rejected his love which, in a way, you had. I had my suspicions right then of the truth he was hiding but I said nothing.”
“Why would you keep quiet?” I asked, although there was nothing menacing in my tone.
Frank shrugged, “if I was wrong it would put me at risk of losing you my love and that wasn’t and still isn’t an option,” his fingers moved in my hair and our lips met, “Gee can’t have you babe; you belong to me.”
“As you are mine,” I said, “if you had said that to me and had been wrong then I don’t think you’d have lost me forever. You are my world Frank and that won’t change I promise.”
He smiled, stood, took my hand and led me to the bedroom to confirm our declarations of love to one another.
It had only been a few days and even though Gerard visited it just felt wrong to me that he wasn’t staying here. I sighed for like the hundredth time that night and furrowed my brow as I tried to concentrate on the book on my lap. Frank swept his arm around me and put down his paper, “babe, he isn’t gone as such and he has to do this for himself. We should support him in that or we might really lose him.”
I let my book go and curled into him, “I know but it just isn’t right,” I wrapped my arms around him and looked into his eyes. “He has just always been here so he has left such a hole. I mean, I know I am the last person he would need to have go to him right now. Frankie, this is… well… this is just the sort of thing that I would talk to him about. I feel so lost… almost like Gerard has gone.”
He stroked my back and moved to kiss me, “he will get through this and we will all be together again,” Frank told me, “I… Can’t you talk to me?”
“Of course I can sugar, I trust you beyond anyone; you know that,” I pulled him tighter against me and kissed his neck. “Gerard has just always been there for me and I have grown to depend on the support which is the problem I guess.”
Frank wrinkled his nose at me, “huh?”
“The fact that I am so dependant on him has made it so these feelings he has have developed. Mother might have a point in that I have somehow caused this. Have I? I mean has me needing him by my side triggered this?”
Frank made a noise and moved to lift my chin with his hands so that our eyes could meet, “Gee has these feelings and nothing that you did or didn’t do made that happen. You said yourself that you don’t chose who you love.”
“But…”
“Hush babe. Gee has to get past this himself and in his own way,” he stroked my cheek and smiled, “besides, I am glad that you have chosen me because there is no way that I could ever get over you,” he kissed me, gently rubbing my tongue with his own. He raised his head and stared into my eyes. “Thank you for choosing me Mikey,” he whispered.
“I didn’t have a choice to make,” I replied as I began skating my hands under his shirt, “I love Gee but it is so different for my love for you. I love you so much Frankie and would die without you,” I reached to return the kiss, my eyes drifting closed as we both got lost in the moment, “don’t ever doubt my feelings sugar.”
“You made a choice; of course you did,” he told me, “Gee means so much to you and even though I know it is a different love I thought I would lose you. I remembered your reaction when he kissed you while he was lost. I know he claims to remember nothing but I bet that memory suck. He cried and cried thinking that you had rejected his love which, in a way, you had. I had my suspicions right then of the truth he was hiding but I said nothing.”
“Why would you keep quiet?” I asked, although there was nothing menacing in my tone.
Frank shrugged, “if I was wrong it would put me at risk of losing you my love and that wasn’t and still isn’t an option,” his fingers moved in my hair and our lips met, “Gee can’t have you babe; you belong to me.”
“As you are mine,” I said, “if you had said that to me and had been wrong then I don’t think you’d have lost me forever. You are my world Frank and that won’t change I promise.”
He smiled, stood, took my hand and led me to the bedroom to confirm our declarations of love to one another.