Fragments of a Broken Mind
Chapter 19
*TIME ELAPSE*
It didn’t take too long before it all got too much for me and I dragged Frank into the bedroom. He sat on the bed and looked up at me with a concerned gaze. He knew that something was wrong and that I didn’t drag him in here for some kinky reason. He didn’t have to wait long for me to speak, “Frank, I feel so awful and I have to tell you. Oh God, this is such a mess, I just don’t know what I am going to do,” I sighed and sat beside him, “Frank, I… I kissed him. I mean I didn’t know it was him or anything but… there it is; I kissed him.”
“Who?”
“Gerard.”
“Oh,” was all he said to me before he put his arms around me, “what exactly happened?”
“Well, this morning I woke up and I was being lifted. I assumed it was by you so I drew you down for a kiss. Only you weren’t you, you were him. Oh Frank, what have I done?”
“Baby you have done nothing major here. That’s a simple mistake and nothing more so don’t panic. I mean, I would have probably done the same thing so I am not stressing. Mind you, you knew that I wouldn’t didn’t you?”
I nodded, “I didn’t do it on purpose but I think I have really hurt him.”
He just hugged me tightly, “you probably did and stirred up all the feelings he thought he had buried. At least he has Bob now and isn’t alone. Bob will keep him safe; you can see that, right?”
“I know but I feel like I should do something.”
“In the circumstances you should do nothing,” Frank said solemnly, “he has Bob now so you are not responsible for him. Not that you ever were but… well, you know what I mean.”
Deep down I knew he was right but I didn’t like it. I wanted to be the one to make it all better but I was the one that really couldn’t. Gerard was my brother and I wanted him to be able to come to me. I wanted to be able to go to him too, I missed that. I wanted things back the way they were. I balled my hands into fists and then released the pressure. We had lost the closeness we once had and I wanted that back. Even if that had stemmed from dependency it had never felt wrong. Right now this distance and this barrier felt wrong to me. I made a noise which was half a sigh and half a groan, “make the clocks go back!” I whined.
“How I wish that was in my power baby,” Frank said as he kissed me, “we will get things back but it will take a long time. Things have changed now but it isn’t all bad. I mean, there is Bob and that can only be a good thing.”
“True,” I admitted and he smiled. Yes Bob was a good thing, the one thing that had changed Gerard’s feelings enough for him to return home.
I only hoped that my actions had not changed them enough again for Gerard to leave again. I shuddered and when I kissed Frank it was with a hint of desperation. I didn’t want things to change again. I wanted the past.
It didn’t take too long before it all got too much for me and I dragged Frank into the bedroom. He sat on the bed and looked up at me with a concerned gaze. He knew that something was wrong and that I didn’t drag him in here for some kinky reason. He didn’t have to wait long for me to speak, “Frank, I feel so awful and I have to tell you. Oh God, this is such a mess, I just don’t know what I am going to do,” I sighed and sat beside him, “Frank, I… I kissed him. I mean I didn’t know it was him or anything but… there it is; I kissed him.”
“Who?”
“Gerard.”
“Oh,” was all he said to me before he put his arms around me, “what exactly happened?”
“Well, this morning I woke up and I was being lifted. I assumed it was by you so I drew you down for a kiss. Only you weren’t you, you were him. Oh Frank, what have I done?”
“Baby you have done nothing major here. That’s a simple mistake and nothing more so don’t panic. I mean, I would have probably done the same thing so I am not stressing. Mind you, you knew that I wouldn’t didn’t you?”
I nodded, “I didn’t do it on purpose but I think I have really hurt him.”
He just hugged me tightly, “you probably did and stirred up all the feelings he thought he had buried. At least he has Bob now and isn’t alone. Bob will keep him safe; you can see that, right?”
“I know but I feel like I should do something.”
“In the circumstances you should do nothing,” Frank said solemnly, “he has Bob now so you are not responsible for him. Not that you ever were but… well, you know what I mean.”
Deep down I knew he was right but I didn’t like it. I wanted to be the one to make it all better but I was the one that really couldn’t. Gerard was my brother and I wanted him to be able to come to me. I wanted to be able to go to him too, I missed that. I wanted things back the way they were. I balled my hands into fists and then released the pressure. We had lost the closeness we once had and I wanted that back. Even if that had stemmed from dependency it had never felt wrong. Right now this distance and this barrier felt wrong to me. I made a noise which was half a sigh and half a groan, “make the clocks go back!” I whined.
“How I wish that was in my power baby,” Frank said as he kissed me, “we will get things back but it will take a long time. Things have changed now but it isn’t all bad. I mean, there is Bob and that can only be a good thing.”
“True,” I admitted and he smiled. Yes Bob was a good thing, the one thing that had changed Gerard’s feelings enough for him to return home.
I only hoped that my actions had not changed them enough again for Gerard to leave again. I shuddered and when I kissed Frank it was with a hint of desperation. I didn’t want things to change again. I wanted the past.