Fragments of a Broken Mind
Chapter 3
*TIME ELAPSE*
I looked out of the window and watched Gerard playing in the garden with Ray. I turned back to Bob, “you think that might have something to do with it?”
“I don’t think that’s the cause,” Bob told me, “no, I mean the end result. What he has done basically is returned to the state of mind when he was happiest. You know; before the divorce and when both parents loved him. He was responsible for nothing then. Do you see what I mean?”
“I see it and yeah, you are right,” I replied although I didn’t want to think he was unhappy at all when he was with us. When he was responsible for me, looked after my interests and nobody was responsible for him. I sighed deeply wishing that I had done more to look after any needs he might have had. I didn’t even know what they might have been, I had never asked and I felt awful for that. I watched Gerard as he played cars with Ray. “What can we do?” I asked, feeling helpless.
Bob followed my gaze, “we need to know the cause before we can work on the effects,” he said in the end as he reached over to take my hand, “we will work this out and get Gee back. I promise you that.”
I looked into his blue eyes briefly, “what happened must have been so big that…,” my voice trailed away into unspoken thought. I looked out the window again, “I wonder if he is better as he is rather than making him face whatever it is.”
Bob squeezed my hand, “we can’t leave him like this.”
“He looks so happy,” I whined softly.
“I know but it isn’t right,” he said, “when we know what caused this we will all be here to help him deal with whatever it is. He won’t be alone Mikey and that has to stand for something.”
“I guess,” I said sadly. I thought that if Gerard had been unable to handle it we would have no chance as a group. I shook myself and forced a smile, “you ready for lunch then?” I asked, trying to use a brighter tone and lift our moods. He nodded and smiled as I set about making some toasted cheese.
Once it was ready I banged on the window to get the attention of the two outside. I pointed at the plate and Ray stuck his thumbs up. They came in the door and helped themselves, “what have you been up to?” I asked Gerard who appeared slightly flushed.
“Ray let me drive!” he told me proudly as he munched on his lunch.
Ray laughed, “I found a pedal car,” he explained to me, “Gee-Gee has been driving up and down the garden, he is very good,” he took the coffee I handed him with a grateful smile. “I need to sit down now though, you have worn me out Gee-Gee.”
“Who will play now?” Gerard said with a stamp of his foot. He looked about him, “where’s Frank?”
“He’s at work today,” I replied, “won’t Bob and I do?”
“I choose Bob,” he said and when I looked disappointed (I was not good at hiding emotions) he threw himself at me, hugging me tightly, “you’re not a play friend Mikes cos you take care of me. I love you taking care of me.”
I hugged him back sadly wishing I had taken care of him when he needed it before.
I looked out of the window and watched Gerard playing in the garden with Ray. I turned back to Bob, “you think that might have something to do with it?”
“I don’t think that’s the cause,” Bob told me, “no, I mean the end result. What he has done basically is returned to the state of mind when he was happiest. You know; before the divorce and when both parents loved him. He was responsible for nothing then. Do you see what I mean?”
“I see it and yeah, you are right,” I replied although I didn’t want to think he was unhappy at all when he was with us. When he was responsible for me, looked after my interests and nobody was responsible for him. I sighed deeply wishing that I had done more to look after any needs he might have had. I didn’t even know what they might have been, I had never asked and I felt awful for that. I watched Gerard as he played cars with Ray. “What can we do?” I asked, feeling helpless.
Bob followed my gaze, “we need to know the cause before we can work on the effects,” he said in the end as he reached over to take my hand, “we will work this out and get Gee back. I promise you that.”
I looked into his blue eyes briefly, “what happened must have been so big that…,” my voice trailed away into unspoken thought. I looked out the window again, “I wonder if he is better as he is rather than making him face whatever it is.”
Bob squeezed my hand, “we can’t leave him like this.”
“He looks so happy,” I whined softly.
“I know but it isn’t right,” he said, “when we know what caused this we will all be here to help him deal with whatever it is. He won’t be alone Mikey and that has to stand for something.”
“I guess,” I said sadly. I thought that if Gerard had been unable to handle it we would have no chance as a group. I shook myself and forced a smile, “you ready for lunch then?” I asked, trying to use a brighter tone and lift our moods. He nodded and smiled as I set about making some toasted cheese.
Once it was ready I banged on the window to get the attention of the two outside. I pointed at the plate and Ray stuck his thumbs up. They came in the door and helped themselves, “what have you been up to?” I asked Gerard who appeared slightly flushed.
“Ray let me drive!” he told me proudly as he munched on his lunch.
Ray laughed, “I found a pedal car,” he explained to me, “Gee-Gee has been driving up and down the garden, he is very good,” he took the coffee I handed him with a grateful smile. “I need to sit down now though, you have worn me out Gee-Gee.”
“Who will play now?” Gerard said with a stamp of his foot. He looked about him, “where’s Frank?”
“He’s at work today,” I replied, “won’t Bob and I do?”
“I choose Bob,” he said and when I looked disappointed (I was not good at hiding emotions) he threw himself at me, hugging me tightly, “you’re not a play friend Mikes cos you take care of me. I love you taking care of me.”
I hugged him back sadly wishing I had taken care of him when he needed it before.