Fragments of a Broken Mind
Chapter 6
*TIME ELAPSE*
Gerard was sitting on the floor colouring and chatting to Frank who was in charge of the coloured pencils. I looked from them into the cold gaze of my mother and shivered slightly, “you have spent the day with him and I am sure he has told you things he hasn’t told me or any of us. I guess what I am trying to say here is that we need your help or at least Gerard needs it.”
“I told you that you would need me one day,” she replied, looking at her hands and then back at me, “I never thought it would be this serious though. Michael, how could you let this happen to your own brother?”
I folded my arms across my chest and sucked in a breath, “I never let it happen to him. I just never realised something like this was going on with him.”
She raised a brow, “so, what you are saying is you were selfish? Only knew what was happening to you and not to those around you,” I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again knowing that this time she was right. She smirked triumphantly at me, a simple gesture that made me hate her even more. “I see,” she said eventually.
I glared at her, “it isn’t like he would have told me,” I defended, “you know that much about him or at least you should,” I dropped my eyes and sighed. “This is getting us nowhere. Mum, can you help at all? Do you know what has happened?”
“I don’t know what has happened to him,” she said, “I wasn’t here, remember?” she commented, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “I can’t talk about how he was because I don’t know. The way he is now is the way he was when you were small and he relied on people doing things for him. It was the way he was when he loved his parents more than his sibling,” she paused and sniffed and I looked up, startled to see tears sparkling in her eyes. She turned and watched Gerard for a while before turning back, the coldness of her glare returning. “I think that you are the key Michael, his main problem.”
I shook my head, “I am not the problem here.”
She shrugged, “I think you are Michael, I mean, he won’t tell you his dreams will he?” I shook my head defeated, “well, they won’t answer what is going on but he dreams he loses both your father and me and has to look after you. The thought scares him and what it does is reflect reality so I think the problem lies there.”
Well, at least she wasn’t blaming Frank or the fact I was gay, “maybe his dreams are the key to all of this but he won’t talk to me,” I sighed and looked at her again. “You won’t abandon him will you?”
“I never did Michael he was the one who left. But, no, I will see him as long as he needs me too,” she glanced at him, her eyes softening slightly, “All I wanted was for him to come back to me one day,” she stood to go through to Gerard and then turned back to me, “at least he was never such a disappointment as a son.”
My hands clenched into fists as she went through to the other room. She sat by Gerard who snuggled against her. She ignored Frank who looked at me before standing and coming to my side. “I hate her!” I hissed with venom.
Frank put his arms around me and held me tightly against him, “hush baby, don’t let it get to you,” he kissed me until I very nearly collapsed in his arms. We clung to each other, “he needs her but we don’t. Her words can’t hurt us as we are too strong.”
He kissed me again almost roughly and I knew that he was right, my mother and what she said to me didn’t matter.
Gerard was sitting on the floor colouring and chatting to Frank who was in charge of the coloured pencils. I looked from them into the cold gaze of my mother and shivered slightly, “you have spent the day with him and I am sure he has told you things he hasn’t told me or any of us. I guess what I am trying to say here is that we need your help or at least Gerard needs it.”
“I told you that you would need me one day,” she replied, looking at her hands and then back at me, “I never thought it would be this serious though. Michael, how could you let this happen to your own brother?”
I folded my arms across my chest and sucked in a breath, “I never let it happen to him. I just never realised something like this was going on with him.”
She raised a brow, “so, what you are saying is you were selfish? Only knew what was happening to you and not to those around you,” I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again knowing that this time she was right. She smirked triumphantly at me, a simple gesture that made me hate her even more. “I see,” she said eventually.
I glared at her, “it isn’t like he would have told me,” I defended, “you know that much about him or at least you should,” I dropped my eyes and sighed. “This is getting us nowhere. Mum, can you help at all? Do you know what has happened?”
“I don’t know what has happened to him,” she said, “I wasn’t here, remember?” she commented, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “I can’t talk about how he was because I don’t know. The way he is now is the way he was when you were small and he relied on people doing things for him. It was the way he was when he loved his parents more than his sibling,” she paused and sniffed and I looked up, startled to see tears sparkling in her eyes. She turned and watched Gerard for a while before turning back, the coldness of her glare returning. “I think that you are the key Michael, his main problem.”
I shook my head, “I am not the problem here.”
She shrugged, “I think you are Michael, I mean, he won’t tell you his dreams will he?” I shook my head defeated, “well, they won’t answer what is going on but he dreams he loses both your father and me and has to look after you. The thought scares him and what it does is reflect reality so I think the problem lies there.”
Well, at least she wasn’t blaming Frank or the fact I was gay, “maybe his dreams are the key to all of this but he won’t talk to me,” I sighed and looked at her again. “You won’t abandon him will you?”
“I never did Michael he was the one who left. But, no, I will see him as long as he needs me too,” she glanced at him, her eyes softening slightly, “All I wanted was for him to come back to me one day,” she stood to go through to Gerard and then turned back to me, “at least he was never such a disappointment as a son.”
My hands clenched into fists as she went through to the other room. She sat by Gerard who snuggled against her. She ignored Frank who looked at me before standing and coming to my side. “I hate her!” I hissed with venom.
Frank put his arms around me and held me tightly against him, “hush baby, don’t let it get to you,” he kissed me until I very nearly collapsed in his arms. We clung to each other, “he needs her but we don’t. Her words can’t hurt us as we are too strong.”
He kissed me again almost roughly and I knew that he was right, my mother and what she said to me didn’t matter.