Make Me Wanna Die

BRIIIIIIIINNGG

"Ugh. God damn alarm!" I groaned out before swinging my arm out from under my covers and smacking the 'off' button on my clock.

Sunlight. It seems to mock me, getting pleasure out of my pain. Yea well that not anything new I guess. It's no different than every other god damn thing I have ever come into contact with, every person included. I think that’s why my official parent decided to abandon me. It’s not like I have anything good in my life. Bad luck and torture just seems to revolve around me.

Of course today just has to be Monday. A school day to be more specific. I hate school, and school hates me. End of story.

Shrugging the covers off I slid my feet onto the cold wooden floor before stretching. I winced at the pull of my skin on the new cuts and bruises from last night’s events. "Another wonderful day in the life of little old me" I laughed bitterly to myself as I made my way to the bathroom. After splashing cold water on my face I grabbed my toothbrush and squirted a little tooth paste onto it. While brushing my teeth my eyes roamed my body, assessing the damage and deciding how much coverage I would need for the day.

I spit, rinsed the toothbrush and padded over to my closet. Reaching in I grabbed a pair of gray skinny jeans, a black baby doll tee, and my favorite red hoodie. It was my favorite because it was the one I had gotten from a Paramore concert that I had managed to sneak out to see one time. Without getting caught even! If there was one happy moment in my life it was that night. I would never forget it for as long as I lived.

I slowly got dressed and slid my well worn converse onto my feet before putting on some cover-up to hide my newest bruises. I also swiped on a bit of eyeliner and mascara, and then proceeded to grab my schoolbooks and make my way quickly and quietly down the stairs, then out the door. I never even slowed down to grab breakfast. It would only make way to more time for sir to notice me.

I slipped my ear buds into my ears, letting the sounds of Adam Gontier fill my head until there was room for nothing else. I then began the hike to school for yet another wonderful day.

*****************************Homeroom**************************************

School. My home away from home. I think everyone in my life is on the same page when it comes to me. I'm nothing, I'm lower than the oh so despised gum that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoes. I can't blame them though. It's not like I've ever proved them otherwise.

Five times. I was tripped and shoved five times this morning on my way to homeroom. That’s a new record. Even for me. Throughout this process I also managed to get a swollen lip, and now have a new bruise forming on my side from being elbowed.

Thank You Katie Miller

I closed my eyes and covered my head as I slid into my desk in the back of the room. Thankful that everyone was too busy talking to notice the freak. Even if for a moment. But as always I spoke to soon, flinching away as I was jabbed in the side. I thought this was high school? Guess I was wrong. Mr. Warner began taking attendance; the random greetings of acknowledgment could be heard throughout the room. I merely raised my hand when called upon.

As everyone else began talking again I pulled out my current book. Chinese Handcuffs. I have read and re read this book many times. I almost always cry.

"Class, It seems we have a new student today. Please introduce yourself sir." The room went completely silent as the news was dropped on us. I didn't bother glancing up. This had no effect on me other than the probability of yet another tormentor. I could hear the gasps of the students around me as well as the whistles from most of the people. I was slightly curious but not enough to put the effort into glancing up.

"Uhm, hi. My name is Nick. I'm 19 years old and just transferred here from New Jersey."

"Well nice to meet you Nick, I'm Mr. Warner. You can take the empty seat in the back right next to Alex." Mr. Warner replied

Well that’s just my luck. Even Mr. Warner hates me. The class surrounding me yet again began talking. Only this time I could hear the harsh words they were speaking, they were talking about me. There’s a surprise.

"What a freak" "I hope she dies" "Look at her. It's disgusting."

I slowly slid down in my seat as a single tear rolled down my cheek. Thanks for the reminders. Believe me, I don't forget them. I heard the squeak of a chair as it slid against the linoleum before the tap on my shoulder.
"Uhm Alex, right?" His voice had a slight ring to it. Almost angel like. I barely acknowledged him except the slight "yup" that passed through my chapped lips.

I could feel all the eyes burning into me; I admit it was very uncomfortable. I finally glanced up, only to look at the clock. Five minutes till first period. I glanced around the room, my eyes settling on the posters curly brown hair almost reached his eyes. Oh his eyes. Don't even get me started on them. The deep chocolate color could only be described as intense. His smirk was one that could make any girl weak in the knees. He had an athletic build with muscles to match. His outfit consisted of converse, skinny jeans, and a band tee. Not bad

I blushed and looked away as soon as he caught me staring, my hair fell between us and I used it, like always, as a curtain. So as the bell rang for first period I gathered me books and rushed for the door. Not bothering to look back as I shoved my way through the halls.