Status: I decided to re-write the plot. havent written in forever! lol hope you guys like! comments are appreciated :) <3 skye

Make Me Wanna Die

Monster

The pain was unbearable. I felt like I was on fire. Slowly, I lifted my head off the floor, trying my best to move into a sitting position. Everything was spinning and I could hardly breathe. I listened intently trying to figure out if Sir was still home. When I glanced at the clock above the sink it read 5:30. He already left for work. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to school today.

Carefully, using all the strength I could muster, I made my way to my bedroom. Not even bothering to change before falling into bed. With my outstretched arm I set my alarm to wake me half an hour before Sir would be home. That gave me 10 hours to rest. I laid my spinning head on the pillow, succumbing to the blackness.

******************************************************************************************************************

"Where were you these past few days?" It had been 3 days since my last incident with Sir. He has yet to have been home. I skipped school for a few days, waiting until the spinning in my head went away. I lost count on the number of times I had blacked out. Though luckily I was somewhat better today. At least well enough to manage a day of school.
"I was sick." Well that's one way to put it. Though my head was still pounding, the spinning had stopped. The rest of my body still ached, and it was hard to breath. But I could manage.
"Oh. Well you're better now then?" Nick looked skeptical, but I don't care. I won't be around him outside of school anymore. It's not worth having Sir prove he was serious. Luckily though I think he is gone on another one of his business trips. Those usually last a week or two. That should be long enough for the pain to subside.
"Yea, I'm fine now." I rested my head on the cool desk, allowing it to soothe the aching throb.
"Well that's good. So you want to do something after school today?"
"Can't I'm busy."
"Oh, well how about tomorrow then?"
"Busy." I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I'll do whatever I have to do to survive.
"I see. Well maybe some other time then."
"Maybe." No, I can't. I could see the look of disappointment on his face, but chose to ignore it. I closed my eyes, struggling with myself to breathe. It was rather painful, but I would manage. I could feel my eyes flutter with every thump my head made.
"Are you sure you're alright? You don't look so good. I could take you to the nurse." There is no way in hell I am going to the nurse. Last time I went, I was in elementary, that had to be the worst day of my life.

*fb*

It was the day after one of Sir's brutal punishments and I was extremely sore. I could hardly function so one of my teachers, Miss Bloom I believe, sent me to see the nurse. Every time she would touch me I would cry out in pain. She asked me to take off my jacket, I cried as I did what I was told. One look at me and a horrified expression crossed her face.
"What happened to you honey?" I looked at her with tears rolling down my face, trying to think of an excuse as fast as I could.
"S..some kids beat me up. T..they w..wanted my c..candy. I..I didn't g..give it to th..them, so they m..made me." I could tell she didn't believe me as she left the room. I quickly pulled my jacket back on, wiping away the tears on my face. A few minutes later she walked back in with the principle and made me show him my bruises and tell him the story. After about ten minutes of sitting in there with the nurse, the principle walked back in. Only this time Sir was with him. He had that look on his face. The one that made him seem upset and worried to the outside world, but I knew better. He was pissed. I blocked out the conversation between the three adults, my eyes focusing on the wall, picking out patterns. The conversation finally ended and I was being sent home with Sir, with a note saying I could take the next few days off to recover. But I would not be recovering that night. My beating that night was worse than the cause of it. He didn't stop until I was completely numb and covered in blood. I couldn't move at all. I passed out right there in the middle of the floor and didn't wake up till the next night. And even then I was unable to move. I stayed there on the floor for two whole days.

*present*

"Alex? Do you need to see the nurse?"
"No! I..I..I'm fine." That didn't sound believable to me at all.
"Ok? Well do you want me to take you home? I drove today, and I really don't mind skipping." The intensifying pounding in my head seemed like a sign to take his offer. I winced as a spasm of pain shot throughout my chest. "Ok, we're leaving, and I'm not taking no for an answer."

We had no trouble leaving school. Even the administration seemed to be under Nick's spell, so we were able to leave fairly quickly. The ride home was very uncomfortable; with me being so sore I was hardly able to sit in the car without fidgeting and crying out in pain. Every move I made had Nick glancing in my direction with a strange look on his face. I had to bite down on my lip in order to silence myself. By the time we arrived at my house tears had started to gather in my eyes but I just blinked them away.

I was either really slow or Nick was really fast, by the time I had unlatched my buckle Nick was standing in front of me opening my door, he still had that same look on his face. I pulled myself out of the car, leaning on the door for a moment so I could get my bearings.
"Come on let's get you inside." Nick wrapped his arm around my back, which caused me to gasp and flinch away. Tears began to roll down my cheeks and I could not stop them. I wiped them away furiously, desperate not to let anybody see me cry, especially not Nick. Sir was bad enough; he got pleasure out of making me cry. No one else was going to get that pleasure. "I'm sorry, I don't know what just happened but I..I didn't mean to hurt you!" Shaking my head I did my best to reply.

"You didn't hurt me, I just uh..I..I..never mind. But you didn't hurt me, I promise." You just grabbed a few bruises caused by the person that did.
"Then what was that?"
"Nothing, I..I..it’s nothing for you to worry about. I'm fine"
"You're obviously not fine, I barely touched you and you acted like I hit you or something like that." Something like that
"I told you, I'm fine. I'll just go inside and take a nap. I'll probably feel better then." Yea right.
"Fine, let's go. You have a key?"
"Yea it's on the top of the door frame." Nick walked up to the door and quickly unlocked it, while I slowly made my way there. Wincing with every rise and fall of my chest, I wrapped my arms around myself trying to ease the pain. It made little difference. I could feel the bruises every time I would run my fingers along my rib cage. As my fingers traveled up my right side I gasped in pain from the spasm that shot throughout. I probably broke a rib again, or at least bruised it. Nick slowly wrapped his arm around my torso, I bit my lip and tried to focus on something, anything else. He led me into the house, shutting the door as I made my way to the kitchen for some Advil. It was a good thing that I had been able to clean the house in between my fainting spells or there would still be beer bottles lying around and the house would be a mess.

"Come on, you are going to go lay down. You look like shit."
"That's an insult to shit." I managed a slight chuckle, turning away to hide my face as fire shot throughout my chest. Yep definitely broken.
"Come on, where's your room? I'll take you there." I lifted my finger pointing to the ceiling.
"Up the stairs last door the left."
"Ok let's go then." I nodded at him, slowly making our way across the kitchen and to the stairs. At least I didn't have to crawl today. After reaching the end of the hall he opened my door and entered the room, his arm still wrapped around me. My room was clean but slightly disorganized. I had yet to make my bed or pick my clothes up off the floor from the past few days. I made my way to my closet until I realized I was screwed. With Nick here I could not where my shorts and t-shirt, it would reveal my worst secret. I had no sweats either. Standing in the middle of my floor, I was trying to figure out what to do. Giving up I reached in the very back of my closet and grabbed the hidden treasures.

"Hey Nick, could you do me a favor please?"
"Sure, what do you need?"
"Could you go get me a glass of water and some Advil? Glasses are to the left of the sink and the Advil is on the counter"
"Yup, no problem. Need anything else?"
"Nope."
"Ok, I'll be back in a second." As he made his way down the stairs I quickly changed. Gasping and crying out with every movement. I had to be fast. Running water could be heard as I slid on my shorts and tossed my other clothes into the corner of my room. I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as I dove into bed, sliding under the covers. I almost screamed in agony when I elbowed my side. I slid further under the covers as Nick made his way to my bed. He handed me the glass, it was rather difficult but I somehow managed to keep my arm hidden beneath the covers. After swallowing the pills I snuggled into the blanket.
"Thank you Nick. Really. But you can go home now. I'm sure you have something better to do." I gave him a sheepish smile as he stood next to the bed.
"Nah. I really don't. We left school early remember. I'd say I have about 5 hours of free time. Might as well chill here. In case you need anything, I mean. Not to watch you sleep." I rolled my eyes mockingly before making some room on the bed.
"Whatever. You'll probably get bored though."
"I don't mind." It's a good thing I have a full sized bed instead of twin sized, or we would not have fit. I could feel the Advil starting to kick in. I couldn't keep my eyes open very well; I guess that's what happens when you take 6 Advil within fifteen minutes. Lying on my back was very uncomfortable, but there was no way I could lay on my side. The last thing I remember, or I could have been imagining it, was the feel of Nick softly running his fingers through my hair.

I awoke what felt like minutes later, but it obviously wasn't considering it was dark in my room and outside my window. I began to stretch only to find I was curled up with something. Opening my eyes I realized my head was on Nick's chest and I was squished up against his side. By the glow of the moon I could see that his face was pale.
"What are you still doing here? Aren't you going to get in trouble? You do realize it's nighttime don't you? God how long was I asleep?" I struggled to pull myself up wincing as I strained my right side. It was then that I realized why he looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown. The blankets were at my feet. Oh. My. God.
"Uh..I..you..uhm..what..what happened to you?"
"Uh..I..I..it's nothing. Just don't worry about it, I'll be fine in a few days." I was slowly struggling to my feet, pulling the blanket with me and wrapping it around my body.

"That's obviously not nothing. You're covered in bruises! And I’m pretty sure your right side is swollen. What happened to you?"
"It's none of your business! I can take care of myself." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. This was the last thing I wanted. I knew he should have gone home. I was slowly backing away from the bed, wrapping the blanket tighter around my torso. I could ignore the pain.
"Yea it sure looks like you can take care of yourself. My god! Who did this to you? Your parents?"
"Who do you think you are?! You don't know me! What gives you the right to judge how I live my life?!"
"So it was your parents?"
"Shut the hell up! I don't have any parents ok! I don't have any family! I don't have anyone!" I quickly dropped the blanket and made my way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I slid down to the floor leaning against the wall opposite the door as sobs began to escape my lips. The sobbing only made my side hurt even worse which led to more crying.

I heard the bed squeak as Nick leaped off then came rushing to the door. Without even bothering to knock, he burst through the door. Having no hesitation he sat down beside me, pulling me into his side gently. I could feel him running his fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Please calm down. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you. You’re just in so much pain, I wanted to know why. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't let me." My sobs finally calmed, I was only left with hiccups and slowly drying tears. With each hiccup, a spasm of pain would shoot throughout my side, causing me to whimper in pain. I was afraid to look up at Nick's face, afraid to see his expression.
"It doesn't matter because you can't help me. No one can. I'm not going to involve you. Not going to happen"
"Please. It kills me to see you like this. Just tell me what I can do."

"There's nothing you can do. I've managed this long, I'm sure I can manage a few more months." I glanced up at Nick; he had tears running down his cheeks. It tore me up inside, but there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say to make the situation better. "I'm so sorry Nick, I just can't."
"Please don't apologize to me. You've done nothing wrong."
"I've done everything wrong. I can't do anything right. I'm no good, I'm worthless. I deserve everything life throws at me." I could feel the tears coming again as I pulled myself up from the floor. Turning on the cold water in the sink. Nick was behind me in a second, spinning me around to face him.

"You listen to me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are not worthless and you definitely do not deserve to be treated this horribly. Whoever made you believe those things couldn't have been more wrong."
"Who are you trying to kid. It's obviously true. I must have done something to deserve this life, there's a reason for everything right? Well whatever it is I did was absolutely horrendous. No one wants me. I'm worthless. My parents didn't even want me, that right there proves everything." Nick's hand was lightly rubbing away the tears on my cheeks, a stern look in his eyes.
"No. You are an amazing beautiful girl. You didn't deserve this life. You deserve one much better than this." His thumb was rubbing my cheek gently. It was mesmerizingly soothing.
"You don't have to pretend to care. I'm fine on my own. I'll survive, I promise."
"I'm not pretending, I can promise you that. Please just let me be there for you." I wanted to tell him to go away and never return. I wanted to run as far away as possible. But for some reason I was unable to do either.
"I can't tell you what’s going on. I just can't"
"Ok. I can live with that for now. Will you tell me someday?"
"Someday."
♠ ♠ ♠
Well I'm reposting this. I want at least 3 comments before I will update again. Please tell people about this story. If no one likes it I'll delete it. I'm giving you guys two weeks before I'll delete. Sorry for the ultimatum but I'm not going to write a story that nobody likes.

Comments pleasee!!

Skye <3