It's No Fun on the Sidelines

I procrastinated for as long as possible. I did not want to see Todd or Molly. I didn't want to explain why I was trying that trick or why I crashed. Twitch was already in the room but I was in the waiting room, watching the live feed from the X-Games practices. They were back onto the topic of me being the only female rider. I glanced over at Todd's door. I had seen him about an hour ago be rolled into the room, after his surgery. But I still couldn't do it. I stood up and headed for the exit, I almost made it but I walked straight into someones arms. I looked up and saw Blake's face.

“Where ya going?” He asked, putting his arm around my waist.

“Back to practice.” I mumbled. I could feel him looking at me.

“More like escaping. Come on.” He said, guiding me towards Todd's room.

My mind was screaming. I hated having to apologize to people, especially after something bad happened to them. Because then the apology never seemed sincere. Like you were only saying sorry because they were hurt. I sighed and leaned into Blake, making him pull me closer. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. Todd was fully awake and talking to Molly and Twitch. Molly looked at me and stopped talking. Todd glanced in my direction and had the same look on his face as Molly.

“What the hell were you thinking trying a trick that you don't know!” Todd yelled. I knew it was coming.

“You would have had it if you didn't throw your bike. How did you mess that up?” Blake asked.

Oh I'm going to kill him. I looked at Blake then back at Todd. I really didn't want to say anything.

“I don't know. I just....wanted to try it. I'm sorry. I was being stupid.” I said quietly.

“That doesn't answer my question.” Blake said. I shot him a look and he just grinned.

“If you don't say it now, they'll probably find out through the media.” Twitch said.

Well, I couldn't avoid it forever.

“I was thinking about my dad alright!? He died from fucking cancer 2 years ago.” I snapped, trying to not cry.

The room was silent. Molly stood up and went to hug me but I backed away.

“Don't say your sorry. I don't need sympathy.” ouch, that came out too nasty.

The tension was too much for me. I turned on my heel and headed outside. I needed to get more practice in and I needed to get away from everyone, desperately.

I got back to the arena and right away, a interviewer for ESPN came up to me with a large smile on her face. I put on a small smile, just to humor her.

“Where did you go Katie?” She asked, thrusting a mic in my face.

“I had to go for a little pit. Personal reasons.” I hoped that would shut her up but no, she went on.

“Were you visiting Todd in the hospital? How's he doing? How do you feel about his crash?” WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?

“Yes. He's doing fine. And it sucks. It's never any fun when people crash. I feel bad but I had to leave to get back to training.” I said.

“Where's Travis? Shouldn't he be here with you?”

“He's at Todd's place getting him some of his stuff. I'm sorry but I've gotta practice.” I said

“Do you mind if we film you practicing some new tricks you learned?” She asked.

“Not at all.” I said with a smile. I had no choice, it was one of those questions that you can't say no too.

I mounted my bike and pulled on my helmet. I gave it some gas and headed for the ramp. I took a deep breath and pushed everything out of my mind. I speed towards the ramp and did a back flip Indian air. I landed without a problem. thank god I went back around and continued doing other tricks, showing off just a little.

But I couldn't help thinking that something was coming.