Status: Completed
Lost in My Memories of You.
1/1
I’m sitting here in this empty house… our house. I’m wrapped in the batman comforter that Mikey bought us for our first Christmas together. I slowly raise the comforter to my face and inhale deeply, it still smells of you. Around my neck I’m wearing the scarf you were wearing when we first met. I never take it off these days, I walk down the street and get some strange looks because after all it is June, but I don’t care what they think.
I press the play button on the video recorder and your face flashes onto the screen, a date blinks at me from the bottom, 09/04/2006 your 29th birthday. The video shows you looking happy and smiling, but of course you were then.
Mikey then bounds onto the screen and gives you a brotherly kiss before tickling you mercilessly until you’re both a giggling mess on the floor, you can hear me giggle from behind the video recorder so you get up and walk slowly towards me, you then land a sloppy wet kiss on the camera lens, the picture cuts flickers then fades and now I’m left sitting in our bedroom with nothing but the eerie glow of the television screen to illuminate my tear stained face.
Why did you have to leave me? You knew that without you I would be a mess, you were and remain to be the reason I live. And with that I broke down, for the first time since your funeral I let the tears fall, they fell until my wracking sobs reverberated around the empty house.
I hope you knew how much I loved you, because I did and still do love you more than life itself. I know you loved me, you never told me very often but your actions spoke more than words, they way you kissed me first thing in the morning, they way you put your arms around me when we cuddled on the sofa, the way you always made love to me gently, and carefully because I was your Frankie and you didn’t want to hurt me.
I stand up and switch of the TV, tears still falling down my cheeks as I climb into our bed. I wrap myself back in the comforter and lay down and before I drift off to sleep I whisper “I’ll never forget you…” I hope you can hear me. With that I close my eyes and feel sleep engulf me, I’m lost in my dreams, the only place I’ll ever truly be happy again… lost in my memories of you.
I press the play button on the video recorder and your face flashes onto the screen, a date blinks at me from the bottom, 09/04/2006 your 29th birthday. The video shows you looking happy and smiling, but of course you were then.
Mikey then bounds onto the screen and gives you a brotherly kiss before tickling you mercilessly until you’re both a giggling mess on the floor, you can hear me giggle from behind the video recorder so you get up and walk slowly towards me, you then land a sloppy wet kiss on the camera lens, the picture cuts flickers then fades and now I’m left sitting in our bedroom with nothing but the eerie glow of the television screen to illuminate my tear stained face.
Why did you have to leave me? You knew that without you I would be a mess, you were and remain to be the reason I live. And with that I broke down, for the first time since your funeral I let the tears fall, they fell until my wracking sobs reverberated around the empty house.
I hope you knew how much I loved you, because I did and still do love you more than life itself. I know you loved me, you never told me very often but your actions spoke more than words, they way you kissed me first thing in the morning, they way you put your arms around me when we cuddled on the sofa, the way you always made love to me gently, and carefully because I was your Frankie and you didn’t want to hurt me.
I stand up and switch of the TV, tears still falling down my cheeks as I climb into our bed. I wrap myself back in the comforter and lay down and before I drift off to sleep I whisper “I’ll never forget you…” I hope you can hear me. With that I close my eyes and feel sleep engulf me, I’m lost in my dreams, the only place I’ll ever truly be happy again… lost in my memories of you.