Undeniably In Denial

I just got a boyfriend, made out with him in his room, and almost got caught doing it by his mother. Now I’m downstairs, eating brownies, and talking to aforementioned mother like none of that happened. I’ve been in a similar situation before, but it’s really different this time because it’s with a guy, and not a girl. I’ve gotten caught making out with a fair amount of girls, but never a guy, so this was new territory for me. But I was okay with that. And ready for the challenge, whatever it was.

“Hey, Cam, can I talk to you real quick?” his mom asked suddenly, motioning to their living room with her head.

“Uh, sure,” he shrugged, setting down his glass of milk and following her. She must have thought I couldn’t hear them talking out there, but I could hear every word.

“So,” she started. “Is Reese your boyfriend?”

“Mom!”

“What? It’s just a question,”

“You could have at least waited until he left,”

“Well, yea, I could have, but I didn’t. So I guess you’ll just have to deal with it. Now, is he or isn’t he?”

“I have guy friends that aren’t gay, you know. Not every guy I hang out with or bring home is my boyfriend.”

“I know, but Reese comes over a lot and I was starting to wonder is you two were together. And by the way you keep avoiding the question, I’m going to take a guess and say that you are,”

“Okay, fine, yes. We’re together. But it just happened today,” he admitted. I had to smile at him because of how nervous he seemed about to answer his mom about us.

“I thought your guys’ lips were swollen,” she mumbled so quietly that I just barely heard what she said.

“What?”

“When I came into your room and he was talking about math, it looked like your lips were swollen. Like you were just making out. That’s one reason I asked about you two. I figured you were kissing, heard me coming, and covered it up by acting like you were still studying,”

Wow. She’s pretty good.

“Keep in mind, I have Gena as a daughter. I know most of the tricks by now,” she laughed.

“Yea, I guess you would. She is quite the handful,”

“You’re telling me?”



“Hey have you ever noticed that neither of us have Jersey accents, but we both live in Jersey?” I asked a couple of days later as we did homework at my house. It wasn’t so much homework as it was Camron surfing the web and me writing a short story I recently got an idea for.

“No, I haven’t, but you’re right,” he mused, turning in my swivel chair to look at me. ”Although I have lived in Ohio until I was fourteen, so I just haven’t picked it up yet, I guess.”

“Well, I moved here when I was nice, and I still don’t have the accent,”

“I don’t know. I know lots of native Jersey people that don’t really have it either. So maybe certain people just don’t pick up the good old accent,”

“Yea, I guess not,”

“So what are you writing?”

“Short story,”

“About what?”

“Lost souls,” I answered, not really expecting him to understand what I was talking about.

“Kind of like that book, “Soul Lake”?”

“Actually, yea, that’s where I got the inspiration for it. I’m surprised you caught that,”

“I may go to school full time and work two jobs, but I do have time to read, and I love Shawn Duman’s books,” he laughed, spinning around a bit in his chair like a kid. I smiled at him for that. He was so childish sometimes, but in a good way, not an annoying immature way. “Can I read it?”

“Once I’m done with it, yea,”

“Well, hurry up and write it,”

I chuckled at his hastiness and said, “Alright, alright. I’m almost done.”

“Good,” he laughed lightly.

I finished up writing my little story and handed my notebook to him. He started reading it out loud, and I don’t know why, but I just let him do it anyways, as I smiled at his excitement.

“The Lost Souls by Reese Karman,” he started, clearing his throat, making me laugh. “Now, see, if this were any normal story, it would start with once upon a time or some kind of dialogue. But his isn’t just your normal story that you’d find at your local library. No, this is a very odd type of story. One about being lost. More importantly; one about being lost and never being found. This is a story about the lost souls,” He set the notebook down for a second and said, “This is great so far. It’s so powerful, even just with the intro.”

“Well, I don’t really like it too much. It's totally not one of my best works, but go ahead and keep reading I guess,” I chuckled, watching him pick my notebook back up and start reading where he left off.

”Usually, when a person dies, their soul travels – unseen – through the barrier of this world and into either their afterlife or the Underworld, most commonly known as Heaven and Hell. But when people act certain ways and do certain things and they are too much for Hades (Satin) to handle, then their soul makes its way to the Lake of Souls – a truly retched place.

“But do not fret. That only happens to the people who are purely evil. Mostly. Some cases are a bit different though.

“Such a thing has only happened a few times before, where a soul has done no harm but still gets lost and must go to the Lake of Souls. When that happens, those poor souls must live on with it. If you would even call that living, seeing as how they’re dead. All except for one known survivor.

“His name was Pauló DeMoinez.

“And he was special. No, not in a mentally handicapped sort of way, but in a miracle way. He not only died and was sent to the Lake of Souls, but he also escaped from aforementioned lake and lived to tell the tale in his new life. I haven’t a single clue how he did it because he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. But he has told us what it was like to exist for a decent amount of time in such a horrid place as that.

“All you could see, for as far as you could see, was many – too many, Pauló had said – faces, just floating around in the murky water. The water itself was a dirty tan-ish/brown color that looked as if years and years of bile and waste had been mixed together in it. Eww, that doesn’t sound too fun,” he shuddered. “There were no plants. No animals. No life of any kind besides the poor lost souls. He said that some of the faces would stare at him like they wanted to kill him, others would look like they were pleading with him, and others just stared right through him. No one talked just for the simple fact that nobody could talk. And the longer you were in the Lake of Souls, the more you just sort of slipped into a sense of nothingness. Like nothing existed at all, as if everything was lost. No sense of time, no sense of anyone around you really, no sense of anything at all except for your existence.

“He said it was nearly like a dream that he just suddenly woke up from. It was a horrible dream, but a dream at the least.

“But he still knew better. He could feel it in his heart – in his soul.

“Only it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare. One that none of the lost souls in the Lake of Souls could wake up from. Ever.”

As Camron finished reading it, he closed up my notebook slowly, for added effect I’d guess. He didn’t say anything for a bit, and once he did, all that came out of his mouth was, “Whoa.”

“Was that a ‘holy shit that sucks’ whoa, or a ‘holy shit I love that’ whoa?”

“What do you think?”

“The first one?” I asked, unsure about whether he liked it or not.

“No way in hell did that suck,” he laughed. “It was completely amazing! So full of power and passion. Really quite descriptive. Great twist on the real story, too. I loved it!”

“You sound like a book reviewer,”

He put his hand up to his mouth and whispered sarcastically, “That was the whole point.”

“Oh, shush up,”

“No, really. You’re a really good writer,”

“No I’m not,” I shrugged. "Especially not that. That was really crappy."

“No it wasn't and yes, you are,”

“Nu-uh, you're wrong,”

“No, I'm right; you're good,”

“I’m not a good writer, Camron,” I persisted, not giving up no matter what he said.

“Yes you are Reese! You’re really good!”

“No I’m not. And I’m not going to believe you however many times you say it. So stop telling me I’m good, because I’m not. At all,”

“Fine, fine, think what you want,”

“Thank you,”

“Yea, yea, yea, whatever lubes your gears, hun,” he laughed.

“You lube my gears,” I smirked, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

“When? Now? Okay,”

“You are so bad,” I giggled as Camron stood up and walked over to me.

“I know,” he said, climbing over top of me and kissing my nose. I brought my lips to his and rolled him over on the bed, kissing him slowly and passionately. So much was similar to a few days before, yet so much was completely different. One huge thing was that last time, Camron’s mom had only caught us in a lie. This time, my mom caught us in the act. We were only kissing, but it still gave her a huge shock because she didn’t even know I was bisexual yet.

Neither of us heard her coming until my door opened and she gasped out, “Oh good lord,” before closing the door and practically running down the hall to her room.

“Shit!” I cursed, sitting up, running a hand through my hair and staring still and my door.

“Um, should I leave?” Camron asked, propping himself up on his elbows to look at me properly.

“No, no, don’t. I’ll go talk to her real quick,” I said, lifting my leg over his so I could get myself off the bed.

“Alright, I guess I’ll be here,”

“Okay. Wish me luck; I have a feeling I need it,”

“She doesn’t know, does she?”

“No, but I suppose she does now,”

I made my way down the hall to my parents’ room, checked myself in the mirror on the wall next to their door, and knocked lightly on the door. “Hey, mom. Can I come in?” I asked, after clearing my throat.

“Sure honey. I think we need to have a talk anyways,”

I walked through the door into the one room of the house that I usually don’t go into. My mother was sitting at her vanity, just looking into the mirror like she was watching T.V. I sat on the edge of her bed and looked at her in the mirror, waiting for her to say something first. Because, frankly, I didn’t know how to start this sort of conversation with my mother.

Eventually, she turned around to face me and asked, “How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you known you were gay?”

“I’m not,” I answered simply, knowing she’d make the same mistake Jason made at the movie theatre.

“Reese, I just saw you on top of another guy, making out with him. Don’t try and lie to me about it,”

“I’m not trying to lie, Mom. I only said I wasn’t gay. But I am bisexual. I like guys and girls,”

“Okay then, how long have you know you were bi?”

“About a month. But I’ve been absolutely sure about it for less than that,”

“And you’re already making out with a guy as heatedly as that?”

“I don’t think you noticed, but that was Camron. So it’s not like it’s someone you don’t know,”

“That makes it a little better I guess, but it’s still a bit odd to be making out with a guy so short after you’ve figured this out,”

“I’ve been dealing with this for a lot longer than that and Camron’s been there for me the whole time. Certain things have happened and if we were switched around, I hate to say it, but I probably wouldn’t have stuck with him like he did me. Even though him and I just started dating last week, it seems like we’ve been together since this all started,” I explained, trying not to take so long it it all, because Camron was still waiting.

“I guess that makes a difference,” she sighed, standing up and opening her arms for a hug. “Just try and leave the door open when he’s over, yea?”

“Okay, Mom,” I laughed, hugging her. “So you’re not mad about this?”

“I love you no matter what, honey. I’m just worried about what your father is going to say about all of this,”