Life Starts After Dark

Skylar’s POV

I was supposed to have another date with Sam in two days, but I didn’t feel the same kind of happy excitement as I had before. I didn’t know what I was going to do about the whole situation. I felt incredibly lost, and the emptiness in my chest refused to leave me alone. There was simply no way around it.

I was very afraid that I was losing all control over my life. It was like foster care all over again. I wanted to scream just thinking about it. There was nothing in the world that could possibly make me feel better, or so I was convinced.

So I just lay in bed, and stared at the ceiling, where I planned to stay until it was time for me to go to work. Was it too much to say that I currently hated my life?

I couldn’t help but think repeatedly about what Eric had said to me the night before.

I rolled out of bed around 3:30 in the afternoon, feeling very unmotivated, but I still had to drag myself to the dresser and pull out my work uniform.

Work passed in a blur of orders and bad tips. I didn’t even speak to Sam once during my entire shift, and he must have noticed me new and strange behavior, because he stopped me at my car before I had a chance to get the key in the door.

“Is something wrong? Did I do something? Please tell me if I messed up in some way.” He looked anxious for my answer, and hopeful that I would just tell him that nothing was wrong and I was perfectly happy with him.

“I don’t know anything anymore, Sam. I am just really confused by my, I don’t know, circumstances.” I finished the sentence almost as if it was a question, and that seemed to make Sam angry.

“Tell me what you want, Skylar. Because if I don’t fit into that picture of what you want, then I need to know about it,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

I did not like the sudden turn this conversation had taken.

“Sam, it doesn’t work like that. I went on one date with you! This sort of thing is not easy for me. I don’t know what I want anymore,” I said, and I was practically shaking with anger, confusion, and frustration.

“It’s because of him, isn’t it?” He looked hurt, jealous, and angry all at the same time.

“Don’t go there, Sam. I can’t handle that right now.”

“Why not? Is it so hard to choose between a human and a vampire? I would think the choice would be easy. He’s not like us, Skylar. He can never love you.”

“What? How can you say that? He has emotions, just like you or I do.”

“Do you love him, Skylar?” Sam was almost crying now. He was so sweet before. I didn’t understand what was happening to him. Did he really hate vampires that much? Did he really want me so badly?

“I can’t answer that que-”

“Do you love him? Yes or no!” he yelled at me. I flinched away from his anger, and he let go of me, sensing that he had gone too far.

“I don’t know,” I whispered brokenly. The tears feel freely from my eyes as I turned away from him and unlocked my car. “This is my official two weeks notice. I can’t work here anymore.”

“No, Skylar, please don’t leave.”

“I can’t do it, Sam!” I cried, getting into my car and slamming it shut behind me.

“You can have a few days off to think about it. Just don’t go,” he begged.

“If you even give me the option of a few days off, I may pack up and never come back at all. I just need to…..” but I could finish the sentence, because I obviously had no idea what I needed.

I sped out of the parking lot, and drove home, in tears once again. When I got home, I collapsed on the couch and just cried. I hadn’t had a good cry in ages. In some strange way, it felt good. But also, it was heart wrenching.

When would this get better? I thought I had escaped my problems when I left California, but it seemed like they would follow me wherever I went. There was no escape.