Status: complete!(:
It's Yours
Six.
Becky was worried. It was weird. I was always the one worried about her, not the other way around. But Saturday, my abortion day, she was worried.
Of course I was nervous. I was shaking all through out breakfast. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly. I was killing a poor little innocent baby. That was a big deal. But for some reason Becky noticed.
She kept asking me what was wrong. I told her nothing. Over and over again. Like I was a broken record. Or a parrot. “Nothing, Becky, nothing is wrong.” Over and over again.
Surprisingly she bought my lie that I was going to hang with Janie at the lake. I could see her eyebrows knit together with concern, and maybe suspicion. But she didn’t question, I was still the older sister.
I didn’t think that I would be able to start the car, I was shaking so violently. Somehow I managed to shove the keys into the old light blue VW bug.
I was proud of my car. It was old, and it didn’t work sometimes, but it was mine. In every sense of the word. I had worked my butt off for that car. My parents hadn’t understood. Becky hadn’t either. They had wanted to buy me a lavish new, working, car. I wouldn’t let them. This car was a part of me. Even more so than Jake.
Just thinking of Jake made my stomach lurch. I slammed down on Tommy’s brakes. He sputtered, choking out smoke and exhaust, and came to a stop right in the middle of my deserted street.
I needed to push Jake out of my mind. Jake wasn’t here. Jake might never be here again. Jake was gone. I needed to move on. I took a deep breath and started the car again.
Tommy seemed reluctant but eventually I coaxed his motor into starting. I turned the stereo up to full blast. I needed music to distract me from my thoughts. Music was safe. Thoughts, not so much.
At least that was until “Hallelujah” by Paramore came on the radio. I wasn’t really listening but as soon as Hayley sang the first line I slammed on my brakes again. Lucky for me it happened to be a red light, so I was safe. But the line kept playing around in my head.
“Somehow everything’s gonna fall right into place.”
It felt like Paramore, and possibly the universe, were trying to tell me something. Something along the lines of not getting an abortion. But how would I deal with a child? How would I be able to look in it’s sweet, innocent little eyes and not feel revulsion for the evil I had committed?
There was only one way to find out. Ignoring the persistent honking of the pissed drivers behind me, I pulled an illegal Uie and started the drive to Paul’s house. It was time I confessed and rejoined Planet Normal.
Of course I was nervous. I was shaking all through out breakfast. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly. I was killing a poor little innocent baby. That was a big deal. But for some reason Becky noticed.
She kept asking me what was wrong. I told her nothing. Over and over again. Like I was a broken record. Or a parrot. “Nothing, Becky, nothing is wrong.” Over and over again.
Surprisingly she bought my lie that I was going to hang with Janie at the lake. I could see her eyebrows knit together with concern, and maybe suspicion. But she didn’t question, I was still the older sister.
I didn’t think that I would be able to start the car, I was shaking so violently. Somehow I managed to shove the keys into the old light blue VW bug.
I was proud of my car. It was old, and it didn’t work sometimes, but it was mine. In every sense of the word. I had worked my butt off for that car. My parents hadn’t understood. Becky hadn’t either. They had wanted to buy me a lavish new, working, car. I wouldn’t let them. This car was a part of me. Even more so than Jake.
Just thinking of Jake made my stomach lurch. I slammed down on Tommy’s brakes. He sputtered, choking out smoke and exhaust, and came to a stop right in the middle of my deserted street.
I needed to push Jake out of my mind. Jake wasn’t here. Jake might never be here again. Jake was gone. I needed to move on. I took a deep breath and started the car again.
Tommy seemed reluctant but eventually I coaxed his motor into starting. I turned the stereo up to full blast. I needed music to distract me from my thoughts. Music was safe. Thoughts, not so much.
At least that was until “Hallelujah” by Paramore came on the radio. I wasn’t really listening but as soon as Hayley sang the first line I slammed on my brakes again. Lucky for me it happened to be a red light, so I was safe. But the line kept playing around in my head.
“Somehow everything’s gonna fall right into place.”
It felt like Paramore, and possibly the universe, were trying to tell me something. Something along the lines of not getting an abortion. But how would I deal with a child? How would I be able to look in it’s sweet, innocent little eyes and not feel revulsion for the evil I had committed?
There was only one way to find out. Ignoring the persistent honking of the pissed drivers behind me, I pulled an illegal Uie and started the drive to Paul’s house. It was time I confessed and rejoined Planet Normal.