Thank You

“I’m so sorry,” Mrs. Thomas said after the funeral. “I understand how hard this must be for you.”

No, Jane thought. You don’t understand. Not at all.

They had no idea what Drew meant to her.

They didn’t know how it felt to know she’d never clean up his messes again, coffee staining chairs, tables, shirts, and countertops. To never taste his kisses again, no longer feel his lips upon hers. To see a picture, and look into his eyes, wishing he could look back. To hear the blaring of the alarm clock, and realize, as you got up, no one was next to you on the other side of the bed. To realize that you’re alone.

Loving another man didn’t cross Jane’s mind, no. Drew had been her only true love, and it would stay that way.

Jane hated herself for still loving him, though.

Why should she love someone who just left her? Why should she care for a man that abandoned her? He was just a past lover, right? An ex-boyfriend, simply another story to tell to her friends?

Jane knew the answer to that last question even before she asked in the first place. No. Drew wasn’t just another boy. Drew was the boy.

Don’t hate Jane, though. She isn’t being a bitter girl, it’s not like Drew died in a car accident.

Drew killed himself.

It ended up he had two lovers. Jane, and his trusty razor blade.

He loved both of them, but it seemed to Jane that he loved his blade more.

When Jane found out, she felt like she had been slapped in the face. Tons of emotions rushed at her all at once: heartbreak, disbelief, sadness, anger, and betrayal.

She didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to think it was a sick joke; some lie fabricated to make her squirm.

Why would Drew do that to her? Why would he be so selfish?

But, instead of telling Mrs. Thomas all of that, Jane smiled sadly and said, “Thank you.”