No More Secrets

My mom and I had been living in Blackford for seventeen years. It was a small town; the major export was from the wheat farmers and the local woolen mills. Most everyone in the high school lived on a farm, or had family who owned one. Very few were lucky to break out of the monotonous cycle.

Mom and I moved when I was one because of the divorce. My parents thought they loved each other and married right out of high school. I guess they were happy, until I came along. She says my dad wasn’t ready for the responsibility of having a family and one day he picked up his stuff and left. Then we moved to Blackford.

We lived in an apartment above an eatery that was big enough for the two of us. It was a small two bedroom, one bathroom and a space of six feet by six feet of cracking cream colored linoleum that served as our kitchen. Our couch and one recliner (which I currently occupied) faced a big picture window that looked over Main Street, which was never very busy. The walls of our apartment were stark white. Because we were renting and couldn’t paint, they were covered in pictures of plants, landscapes and myself at various ages. Mom hated bland and boring things, which explained why she spent most of her time in thrift shops finding unusual knickknacks that were haphazardly placed everywhere.

Mom worked as a photographer/journalist for the local paper. She mostly wrote about local issues that only the true blue locals would care about, but I knew she’d love to do some real reporting, some juicy story that had been hidden by city officials for years. Sadly, nothing exciting ever happened in Blackford. Some weeks where better than others but we were never cold or hungry.

“Lilly! Guess what?” she said to me one day. It was the first week of summer after graduation, and I was taking a mental holiday from everything I had learned from the past thirteen years of school, that is if you count kindergarten.

Mom practically skipped out of our kitchen, where she had just gotten off of a two second phone call.

“We won the lottery.” I said monotone as I flipped through an old magazine.

“No.” She said with the air of a high school girl with some current gossip. She came and sat opposite me on our couch. I didn’t look up from my magazine. Somehow learning what jeans best looked good on me sounded a lot better than any news my mom had.

“Guess who just phoned me?”

I sighed and said, “Will you just tell me so I don’t have to keep guessing? You already know my answer, which will most likely be sarcastic.”

“I swear you got that sarcasm from your father.”

“That and, my stunning good looks” I said as I ran my finger through my chocolate brown hair. Mom and I looked a lot like. We both where tall and thin had dark brown hair. However, she had blue eyes, I had brown. The only physical trait I inherited from my dad. She used to call me “Bean-pole” when I was little because that’s what I was. Stick straight, no curves.

She sighed. It was just starting to sink in that I was no longer a child. My eighteenth birthday was next week and then I would officially be a woman. I was totally ready for adulthood. I had a room already for me at my friend Beth’s apartment, which was a sight bigger than ours. Then when fall rolled around, I was going to be going to the community college for two years. My mom on the other hand, still wanted to walk me to school and pack my lunches.

“Fine,” She said. “I’ll just tell you and ruin the surprise. Your aunt Deidra just called and we are going to stay with her until the girls get back from college. We’d be there for most of the summer, and your birthday. I know you’ll want to be with your friends,” she said hurriedly, as I glared in contempt at the thought of not being home on my birthday.” But we could do something special with your cousins.”

I’d rather walk across red hot coals BAREFOOT! I’d rather shove a knife in my foot and leave it there! I did NOT like Aunt Deidra . She was rich, rude and ignorant and whose daughters where exactly the same. Charlotte and Samantha were evil. They used me ever since we were younger. Like when I was twelve and they were thirteen and wanted junk food from the store. Aunt Deidra wouldn’t give them any because they had to “Watch their weight.” So, they took me into the store and had me put some snack foods in my pockets and waited for me outside. I didn’t get caught, but I did feel really guilty. So I confessed that I stole the food, because that’s what you did. You covered for your family no matter what. I told my mom that I wanted the candy, and I did it by myself. Charlotte and Samantha had nothing to do with it.

"Deidra called?" I asked, piecing the information together.

"Well, it was Nancy, her assistant. But she said if Deidra wasn't in a meeting, she would have called."

“I'm sure, do you really want to go? Every time we visit, it ends up in tears. Mine normally. Personally I don’t want to go, but I know in the end you will decide that it is time we visit and it will hopefully be considered a peace offering between you and Deidra . Only to realize you where wrong, and we won’t hear from them for a year or two depending on how severe the fight was. But if you want to put yourself through the same pain and torture you’ve suffered through for years, go ahead.”

“Lilly!” She said getting off the couch. “You used to love going over to their house! Is this still because you got in trouble over there? Lilly, you were twelve, you shoplifted and we dealt with it. Can you get over it? And besides." She said getting off the couch. "I already said we'd be driving over tomorrow, so you can't back out."

"Why did you ask me what I thought, then?" I almost shouted.

"I never asked you what you thought, I just said we were invited. And we're going. Both of us." She said pointedly.

I couldn’t say anything to my mom. Nothing would come out. Just saying no I didn’t want to go wasn’t enough. Finally, I said.

”Ok, fine.”