No More Secrets

After the encounter with Brendon, I refused to admit out loud, mom was right. I didn’t know him. I knew to never give out personal information on the internet, I knew to keep my purse zipped and under my arm when I was walking down the street. But why, why was I so ready to put my trust into someone who mistakenly pulled me out of a river? And who managed to piss me off in the first few minutes of our second meeting.

Later that day, was mom in the library (yes, there was a much neglected library in the house) and Nancy and Reg were too busy to talk. I really didn’t feel like being trapped in the house where there was a good chance of being cornered by my cousins and press ganged into doing something questionable. It took five minutes to find the library and stick my head inside. It wasn't huge, more like a large room with tall bookshelves lining the entire room. Most of the books, however, were historical or were about politics. Things I had no patience to look into.

In the middle of the room were two large couches, and a large recliner all were leather and were facing an empty fireplace. Mom was curled up on one of the couches deeply absorbed in a book. Mom could get lost in a book for hours; when I was younger I would have to reminder her when it was time to make dinner. She didn’t look up when I opened the door.

“Mom” I said loudly. She didn’t look up. “I’m going out.”

Nothing.

“By myself…to a club…and I may go home with a strange man.”

Again, nothing.

“See you later.” I said closing the door.

She would never even know I was gone. That was my mom. An explosion could go off right next to her, and as long as her book was good, she’d never notice. I grabbed some cash from my wallet and walked down the stairs. Outside, my eyes started to water from the bright reflection from the sun on the white stairs. It was 90o and very sunny out. Down the drive way, down the street and I was free! The last time I had walked down the street Deidra lived on, I was twelve and it was right after I had been accused of shoplifting by Charlotte and Samantha, but I remembered how to get out of the neighborhood.

The houses were spread apart by yards that could have been mistaken for small parks. There were trees that lined the street that cooled and shaded me from the hot sun. It was quiet out, most of the residents in their air conditioned mansions, and I could hear birds, invisible, in the branches of the surrounding trees. If only this moment of solitude and peace could last the rest of the summer.

I finally made it to the end of the street, and it was slightly more active then the street I had just left. There were all kinds of stores, a few vintage clothing stores with one or two local designer shops here and there. There were also a lot of restaurants and café`s on this particular street. I walked passed slowly, admiring what was in the shops and people watching. There were the platinum blondes who were out spending daddy’s money, and the vacationers who, like me, were just looking.

Down a lonely looking side street was a book store. There was no name on the door, but a large pile of books stacked in the large glass window. It was a little dusty looking from the outside, but I went in anyways. As I thought, it was dusty and smelt like old paper. But I liked it. The store was small and had numerous shelves placed hap hazardously in the middle of the store. It was very quiet, like the store was just waiting for me to make some kind of sound. I walked around the store, browsing through the shelves, not recognizing any of the titles or the authors.

“Can I help you?” asked a slow, soft voice from behind me. I turned and came face to face with an old lady. Well, she was shorter than I was so it was more like, face to the space above her head. She had a long grey braid swept over her right shoulder and tiny glasses perched on the end of her nose. She was wearing a baggy tie died tee-shirt, faded from years of wear, a pair of dirty jeans and Burkenstach sandals also old and dirty. She peered at me over her glasses and waited for me to answer.

“Um, no. I’m just looking, thank you.” I said quietly, as if talking too loud would shatter the small woman before me.

She stood there and watched as I walked past and glanced at the collection of books. It was a little unnerving how I could feel her eyes on me as I walked around. I had my back turned to her and tried to casually look for the door. Crap, she was standing in my way of the only exit. I didn’t want to make it look like I was in a hurry to get out, but the silence and the scary owner watching me was a little too much.

“Are you sure there is nothing I can help you with?” she asked still un-naturally slow.

“No, that’s okay.” I said facing her.” I should be going.”

I backed out slowly, keeping an eye on the store owner. I reached the door, opened it and turned to head down the street. The store was dark and the sun made my eyes water. It was so unnaturally quiet in the store, when I went outside the noise from the other street was a little disorienting. I stumbled, slightly blinded and a little confused when I collided with something solid and fell to the ground.

“Wow, you really need to watch were you are going.” A voice above me said, with a hint of laughter. A hand reached down to help me up, I pushed it away.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I growled getting up.

I stood up and came face to face with Brendon. His eyes sparkled and a crooked smile spread across his face when our eyes met, he said “Well, hey there!”

“Hey yourself.” I said side stepping him and continued walking.

“Hold up!” he said turning and walking with me. “Don’t I at least get a sorry?”

“For what? You knocked me to the ground!” I said speeding up ever so slightly.

“I tried to help you up, and if memory serves, YOU ran into ME. I think that mean you owe me a ‘Sorry’.” He said thoughtfully.

“Shall I send you a Hallmark card?” I asked in mock sincerity.

“She refuses to apologize and is sarcastic?” Brendon asked out loud.

“Why are you following me?” I asked stopping and facing him. Brendon was in mid stride and we would have collided again, had he not taken a step back.

“What if I was going this way? Would that mean YOU were following ME?” he asked raising his eyebrows, hands in his pockets and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“No, you started walking this way when I came out of the bookstore. You came from the other direction.” I said pointing down the street.

He paused a moment.

“Can’t a person change their mind when they are walking? What if I decided to get ice cream and turned around in the middle of the street? I’m human and changing my mind is something I can’t help.” He said factually.

I paused for a minute. “No.”

“Wow. That was harsh.” He said putting his hand over his heart.

“I am not harsh.” I said defensively. I turned to walk away and looked over my shoulder. “I am delightfully abrasive!”

The thing about Brendon was, no matter how mean and insulting you were, he’d still hang around. And I tried, believe me; I tried to get rid of him. But, he just kept walking besides me, brushing off my sarcastic remarks, throwing his own sarcasm at me. Throughout our battle of wits, Mom and Nancy’s voices kept popping into my head.

“...Don’t put all your trust into someone you don’t know.”

“…He might have a girlfriend. You don’t know!”

Our witticism sparring wasn’t dangerous. Although I reminded myself he had proved himself a hypocrite earlier that day. (Was it only a few hours ago?) And to be perfectly honest, I didn’t know why I had instantly decided Brendon had become someone to stay away from. As we traded verbal abuses, I found myself becoming more and more interested in him. He had gone from stranger hiding in the shadows, back to The Mysterious Swimmer of a few days ago. Back to the guy who had mistaken me for potentially suicidal. Back to the guy I had WANTED to meet.

“Does this mean I win?” Brendon asked.

“What?” I said coming out of my own head.

“I said ‘Tu` madre esta una gorda vaca’. You failed to answer, and I asked if that meant I won.” He said with a smile.

“Hey now, I didn’t insult your mother, let’s leave mine out as well.” I said with a small smile.

“Yes!” he yelled throwing his hands in the air, causing a few people down the street to look at us. “I won and got you to smile.”

He started beat-boxing and started a small victory dance consisting of him waving his arms in front of him and shaking his knees. I couldn’t help it; I started laughing which caused Brendon to keep up his ridiculous dance and beat-boxing. The more I laughed, the more he danced. It was a vicious cycle that only ended when Brendon stopped beat-boxing and said
“I can’t keep this up forever you know.” He said slightly out of breath.

“I’m s...sorry.” I gasped. “But you really should have seen that dance. You looked hilarious.”

“Don’t be making fun of my dance skills!” Brendon said pretending to be hurt.

“I’m sorry” I said genuinely smiling at him.

“It’s alright, I know I can’t dance.” Brendon admitted sheepishly.

“For everything, actually.” I said quietly looking at my feet and unconsciously wrapping my arms around my stomach, hugging myself. “I know I was acting pretty bitchy earlier. My mom has instilled this fear of strangers into me so much; it’s hard to meet new people. I’m always thinking someone is going to try and hurt me…”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Brendon said lifting my chin with his hand. The touch of his skin on mine sent shivers through my body and I blushed. He gently ran his finger along my jaw and smiled.

“How about we start over?”

“Okay.” I said softly. We kept eye contact, and I was dazzled by his dark brown eyes. There were small flecks of gold that shone as the sun hit them. His dark eyelashes perfectly framed those brown orbs. I hadn’t noticed his eyes before, maybe I was so busy trying to ignore him, and I forgot he had eyes. And his lips, did I notice them before? They were a pale pink, very full and looked smooth. He had a pout any run way model would die for. Were we getting closer? I think we were, I don’t remember being able to smell his cologne. No, that wasn’t cologne. He smelt like spearmint gum, laundry detergent and…Brendon.

Brendon leaned down and ever so slightly, I leaned up.

Then my phone rang. He quickly put his hand down and backed away, embarrassed, as if he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. I dug into my pocket and pulled out my phone. It was mom.

“Hello?” I asked irritably.

“Lilly? Where are you?” mom’s frantic voice came from the other end.

“The street right off of Deidre’s, it’s like a five minute walk from the house.” I said still agitated she had ruined a moment that most likely was never going to happen again.

“Okay. You were gone and I didn’t know…”

“I told you I was going out. It’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention.”

“Lilly.” She said warningly. “Come back. We are going to be eating with Deidra and the girls tonight.” She said sighing.

“Oh what fun.” I said as I hung up. “I should go.” I said looking at Brendon who was silent through the phone call.

“Okay. Do you mind if I walk with you?” he asked looking at me with his big brown eyes. That wasn’t fair, I couldn’t pull off the puppy eyes and he had mastered it!

“…Alright.”

As Brendon walked me back to Deidra's I explained mom and Nancy telling me not to trust him and how I thought they were being too over protective. He agreed that blindly trusting people was a stupid idea but, “Now that we know each other, you don’t have to be on your guard!” he stated happily.

“I guess not.” I said as we walked down the street. Somewhere a lawnmower’s engine could be heard and I doubted that anyone of these homeowners was outside mowing the lawn.

“Here we are.” I said as we reached the driveway to the house.

“Would you like to come inside for a drink?” I really didn’t want Brendon to leave right away.
He chewed on his lip as he looked at the house, contemplating what could possibly lurk behind the doors to that mansion.

“I don’t know. Your mom sounds like she’s not in a rush to meet anyone in the music business. I’d better not.”

“All the more reason for you to come in, Mom only thinks that way because Deidra does. If you meet them, maybe…”

“No, Lilly, I’d better not.” He said looking me in the eye. “I don’t want to cause trouble, especially after we just met.” He said gently taking my hand.

“Oh, okay.” I said sadly. I really wanted mom to met him and know how wrong Deidra was. “Some other time then?”

“Yeah, another time.” He said squeezing my hand. “I’ll see you later.” He said turning and walking back down the street. Sighing, I turned and walked back to the massive house.