Lies and Truths are Mixed

She never knew why life was so hard. She thought that things might get easier but it got harder each time. At times it got ten times harder the the first couple of times.

She has dealt with pain , sorrow, misery, helplessness, physical abuse, verbal abuse, and the worst murder.

This is the life of J. L. R.

A girl who at an early age has dealt with things that no one should ever go through especially her.

But its the price she pays for being born in a family with no boundaries.

Her grandfather made sure she was treated like she was worthless.
Her father followed whatever his father said.
Her mother left her.
The only two people that only cared for her were dead.

Can life get any better?

Flashback

"Please don't do this! Per favore!" I screamed.

I couldn't let my own family do this. It was the last time I will get to see her and I couldn't because they thought it was all my fault.

How can a thirteen year old be at fault for someone's suicide?

I couldn't believe they wouldn't let me say good-bye.
So here I was standing outside the cemetery. Looking at everyone saying their last good-byes and it hurt like hell that I couldn't see her last time before she was put to rest.

My life was miserable when she was alive and now its worse.

I sat there looking through the bars watching. Watching my other half leave me.

I was alone. Alone and unloved.

I couldn't cry. I had no more tears left. Everything I had was gone. I was just an empty shell.

End of flashback

I woke up that morning, thinking of how much life has changed in the last couple of years. I wasn’t the same girl. I wasn’t scared of the world. I felt completely opposite to that. I felt that the world was should be afraid of me. I wasn’t going to take shit from anyone. I did when I was younger but I grew out of it. Now I finally stick up for myself. I never felt that I fit in when I was in boarding school, but now that I’m here in America I feel like people know how it feels to be different.

Then only thing is that the past likes to haunt you every once in a while. It likes to keep you on your toes.

We were slowly leaving the area where it once was filled with bodies. Moving in unison, together as one. Singing our hearts out as the performers did the same. Getting high off of the adrenalin of the people in the crowd.

We had finally made it out to cool fresh March air. Slowly walking towards the car, wiping the sweat off of our foreheads. I made it to the drivers side of the car. I grabbed the keys from my pocket, I had to search a bit for the right key until I had the right one for the keyhole. I slipped it in and turned. I kept silent. Opening the door and slipping in and closing it shut.

“This has got to be the best show I’ve been to! Oh come on! Why are you moping around now? I know you had fun in there. I saw it in your eyes. Please J just admit it you had fun. Okay say it with me now” Sara said.

I couldn’t help and smile. I really did enjoy it. It has been a long time since I enjoyed having this much fun. Plus it was one of my favorite bands. I mean people thought of them as “emo” and people were usually surprised to hear that I listen to them. Shit I don’t know why people think that. I mean yea I listen to Operation Ivy, Rancid, The Casualties, and other hardcore punk bands but I only listen to what I’m in the mood for.
The Used is a really good band.

“Sara fine you want me to admit that I had fun tonight then yes I did have fucking fun okay! Jeeze! Your like trying to make sure I‘m not down in the slumps tonight. Why? I know your answer just don’t even say it. But now that we are back to our real world. Can I just be who I am now?” I said softly. But damn did I still have that smile.

I turned the ignition on. We were now on our way to get gas. It was almost on empty. Yea I know bad car owner.

"So J you really need to start to move on. I mean I know that its hard but look who your turning out to be. Do you really want to be this person you are now in the future? 'Cuz seriously. I wont put up with this shit. Plus you have to be excited that I'm moving down to Vegas with you. And you know we are gonna fucking rock this shit!!" Sara said laughing. While we were pulling up to the gas station.

“Look you know what I‘ve been through these last few years. And I can’t simply just change into someone I‘m not and you know this Sara so please just don’t. OK? And yeah I‘m fucking psyched that you get to move out of hillbilly town yours and move to Vegas. I can’t believe you actually agreed to this you know how long I‘ve trying to get you into this band?” I asked.

“Well from what it looks like not very long. Plus you get to teach me this stuff I know you were originally gonna play but I can’t believe your actually gonna have the guts to go up there and sing all by yourself! That is just amazing. But I know I won’t be a great guitarist like you so don’t expect much.” She said while walking in.

She went her way to grab her goodies and I went straight for my drink. I was the driver tonight and I couldn’t get my daily dosage of alcohol. So I settled for a Lipton green tea with citrus.

Right when I was closing the door to the fridge I heard it. The squeal, then the humph and then I heard a couple of groans.

“Damn I didn’t think you would actually run into someone in the store ha shows ya how uncoordinated you are” said the males voice.

I was looking around the little store but I couldn’t find her. Where the fuck did she go to?

I walked back to where I heard the commotion. Of course I wouldn’t of thought of Sara lying on the floor while this man was right on top of her.

I didn't think this night could get any weirder or better but I guess with my luck for the night it did.

"Holy Crap are you okay?!" he said while he was still on top of her. Seriously cant you do that when your standing on your own two feet not on top her.

I mean this sight was priceless. Sara under one of her favorite guys in the world. I swear if she was a dude she would've had a boner but obviously she was born with the female genitalia.

"Yeah I'm OK. Are you?" Sara said. I've never seen her like this she looks like across between I'm-so-gonna-fuck-you-on-this-floor look and oh-my-god just-kill-me-now let me tell you it was priceless.

"Wow I don't think you had it in you dude! I mean I know you like getting laid but fuck I didn't think you would go for chicks in the middle of a gas station store!"said one of the guys surrounding the scene.

Obviously all these guys were together but fuck of all the gas stations out in L.A. why did it have to be this one? I made my way over to them.

"Well as much as I like knowing that I've seen one of the bands I like out of their stage stuff, me and the chick that your laying on gotta go home and get some sleep. So if you will can you get off of her please?" I said as politely as I could which was a lot at this moment.

"Yeah sorry bout that. I hope this fat ass didn't hurt you and we really didn't see you coming this way and if we would've we would have not knocked his ass on you" said the guy with gages, black hair and snake-bites.

"well she isn't hurt so....yeah lets go we gotta go now Sara" I said.

We went to the register and paid for our things but right when we were leaving out the door one of the guys whispered to the others

"Damn she is hot but fuck is she a bitch"