Destiny Keeps Getting in the Way

I can’t recall a time I hated someone more than I hated Lucy right at that moment--well maybe Juan Rodriguez when he shot Nathan--but right now she was the most evil person on the planet. I’m sure she knew Peter and Nathan didn’t get along. She knew what this would start between Nathan and I.

The only sounds heard in the table was the clock ticking and each second was a nail to my coffin--okay so I’m a exaggerating a bit, but this was bad. The other sound was the beating of my heart. It was pounding against my chest and it was giving my breathing problems. I didn’t want to turn to Nathan and see the anger or disappointment in his eyes.

I lied to him. I told him I was covering for Mike and it was total bullshit and now he was putting the pieces together in his head.

“Oh Lord… did I do something wrong?” Lucy played the ‘I didn’t know he didn’t know’ card. I wanted to pull those fucking hair extensions and hang her with it.

“No, you did nothing wrong, Lucy. Melinda can I talk to you in private?” Nathan’s voice was hard to decipher if he was mad or sad. I looked at Lucy and her eyes were shining in victory. I set down my chopsticks and followed Nathan to my room.

He closed the door once I entered and I went over to my bed and sat down on the edge of it. He paced in front of me back and forth. He ran a hand through his hair. He was frustrated I could tell. I didn’t speak because I knew I would only set him off and I wanted to speak to him calmly and reasonably.

I should just tell him the truth. But right now he was scary. I’ve seen him mad and furious but never towards me. Not like this. He finally stopped pacing.

“I’m trying to figure what to say here, Melinda.” Uh-Oh, he used THAT tone with me. He was both mad and disappointed. “It seems that you don’t trust me enough. You had to lie to me and go behind my back.”

“I know I lied Nathan but… I had no choice--”

“No choice?” He raised his voice at me.

Something bad about me is that I’m like a snake when cornered I strike with venom. I stood up. “Yes! Because I knew you would get like this Nathan. I knew you would have this jealous fit.”

“How am I supposed to feel, Melinda? You lied to me and what’s worse is that you weren’t planning ever telling me, were you?”

I stammered with words and sighed. “I get why you’re mad and I’m sorry for lying to you Nathan but I didn’t want this--” I gestured between us. “To happen. I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t think it was going to hurt anybody and… you’ve been really busy lately… I just…I don’t know and Peter was there--”

“Are you sleeping with him?” He interrupted me for that question?

I had to blink several times to make sure this moment was real.

“Are you really asking me if I’m cheating on you with Peter?”

“Yes.” His lips were pursed.

“You don’t trust me.” I concluded.

“What am I supposed to trust? Your words? Because your exact words were ‘I took Mike’s shift so he could go on a date. So I didn’t get home until one or two in the morning’ and I believed you!” He hissed the last part.

“I’m sorry!” I was sort of begging this time. I didn’t want to lose him because of a small thing. Good thing he didn’t know about the kiss.

“Did ANYTHING happen?” He asked me with a sadness that hurt me.

I didn’t know what to tell him. I didn’t know whether to lie again or just come out with everything? But the best thing is to get everything out in the open and let everything take its course.

“We had a few beers--wait!” I told him when he started cursing and I wasn’t even done. “He kissed me but I pushed him and told him to get out. That’s all that happened I swear nothing else.”

He looked at me looking into my eyes to see if I was lying and his expression didn’t change. He wasn’t trusting my words.

“Can you say something? Please?” I begged when his silence was tearing my apart. It was tearing me like a knife. Each wound hurt more than the last.

“All of my life I’ve had people lied to me, Melinda and they don’t matter but when it’s you who lied to me then… it’s a dark place. I don’t what to think or say. You’ve lied to me before how do I know you’re not lying to me now?”

“Because I love you! Have I not proven that?! I’ve given you everything!”

He just shook his head. “I don’t know what to think anymore… we need a break.”

I stepped back away from him. “You’re breaking up with me?” I choked a little at the end.

“No,” He said and I started to breathe again. “I just need time to think about… us.”

“Are you serious? After everything we’ve been through you need to think?”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

I just scoffed. “No… you need time to see if I didn’t cheat on you with your best friend, I get it.”

“He’s not my best friend and it’s his entire fault.”

“No it isn’t, Nathan. It’s ours because we don’t have trust in each other. I mean, how do I know you’re not fooling around?”

He was offended by my question but I was exactly offended as he was when he asked me if anything happened with Peter.

“It isn’t the same--”

“How?” I yelled. “You ‘stay at work’ for a long time and you miss our lunch dates because things just happen to POP up. You know what, I think we BOTH need time to think about this.”

He gave me a dark look and he walked out of the room and I let the tears fall. I heard the front door get shut. I couldn’t believe this. Did we just break up? I don’t know.

I don’t know anything anymore. He was gone and that’s all that mattered. This wasn’t good. I needed him. I needed him to believe me but how can I be in a relationship where my partner doesn’t believe me?

I know that lying to him was wrong and fucked up and he feels hurt and betrayed but he MUST know that I would never cheat on him. After years of waiting for him how could he just assume something happened between Peter and I?

I walked back into the kitchen and I saw as Lucy recovered from a smile that said ‘I won’ into a one of ‘I’m sorry’.

“You bitch!” I accused her. “You knew Peter and Nathan didn’t get along!”

“I didn’t know you didn’t told your boyfriend you were going to a concert with another guy.” She said. “I would’ve kept my mouth shut.”

I put my hands on the table and leaned in towards with the deadliest death glare I could muster. She looked scared. Good, that bitch better be fucking scared cause she woke up the old Melinda that didn’t take shit from anyone.

“I don’t know what your game is Lucy but it’s clear you don’t want to be my friend. I don’t know if it’s payback because Nathan chose me but this is clearly not working out. You can take your fake friendship and shove it up your bulimic ass.” I said every word slowly so she could understand since her brain didn’t work like a normal person’s.

She glared.

“Seems to me Nathan is having second doubts about choosing you.” She smirked.

I blinked.

“And what would you care? You have a fiancé?” I nodded towards Devlin.

Lucy got up and I straighten up. Devlin looked at me, I felt his eyes on me.

“Have a nice day.” Lucy said and walked out totally ignoring my question.

Devlin followed but not before giving me a wink again. This was all too weird. Lucy was supposed to be in love with Devlin. Why does she want Nathan and I to fight? Maybe… maybe it’s payback but not from Lucy… not entirely… Devlin.

That fucker. He got Lucy on his side and his mission was to break up me and Nathan so Nathan can suffer his pain. Peter and I were just pawns to pull of his revenge.

I needed to hear comforting words from someone. I didn’t check the time and just dialed Linda’s number and Maya’s. They both answered.

We did the three way.

I explained what happened.

About the concert, the kiss and how Lucy ‘subtly’ pointed out I went to the concert.

“That devious bitch,” Linda gasped. “She totally did that on purpose!”

“I know! But why?!” I exclaimed. “But she’s the least of my worries. Nathan is mad at me but I don’t think he should be mad.”

“You kissed Peter.” Linda pointed out.

“Nah-uh.” Maya said. “He kissed her and she pushed him away!”

“Exactly.” I said.

“But you still kissed him and you went to a concert and to a Muse concert. That was your guys’ thing, wasn’t it?” Linda asked.

“Well yeah…” Then I heard them yawn. “What time is it over there?” I asked.

“Like… seven or eight.” Maya had been the one to yawn.

“Oh, crap. Sorry guys I keep forgetting about the time difference.” I smacked myself. “We’ll talk later.”

“No.” They both said.

“We’re friends and we’re here for you.” Linda said.

“Amigas por siempre, que no?” Maya said in Spanish. (Friends forever, right?)

“Por siempre.” I agreed. (Forever.)

“Now, you need to let Nathan cool off and he’ll come back, all right?” Maya said.

“Yeah, that boy loves you too much to stay mad.” Linda added.

“I hope so.” I said.

Ding Dong.

“Someone’s at my door.” I said. “Maybe it’s him, I’ll call later.”

I hung up and jogged to the door. I looked through the peep hole but it wasn’t Nathan. I opened the door. It was a flower delivery.

“Melinda Gomez?” The guy asked with the bouquet of red tulips.

“Yes.” I said.

“These are for you.” He handed them over. I took them. “And a song to go along…”

“Excuse me?” I said. “I thi-think you’re mistaken.”

“You said you were Melinda Gomez right?” The guy asked.

I nodded. “Yeah but…”

“Well this is from a secret admire…”

“Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black And I held my tongues as she told me "Son fear is the heart of love" So I never went back If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary And the soles of your shoes are all worn down The time for sleep is now It's nothing to cry about Cause we'll hold each other soon The blackest of rooms If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark Then I'll follow you into the dark.”

“Do you know who it is?” I asked.

“Just the messenger ma’am.” He said and I signed the clipboard and he left.

I closed the door and set the flowers on the dining table. I saw the card inside. I took it out and read it.

It was a sonnet. One I recognized.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.