You're Just A Diamond In The Rough.

Zacks Point of View.

I watched her walk away angrily and storm into the hotel lobby and I actually laughed pathetically to myself.

I guess it all started on March 10th. Ever since Josh came into that room to tell us who would be joining us on tour, my world has been turned upside down. I bet she’s been playing innocent? Telling you all how I hate her for no reason, or how I hate her for her brothers mistakes. Yeah, I have to admit, when I found out it was her brother who took Gena away from me, I was furious.

I have my reasons though. Reasons she should’ve known but doesn’t.

Flash back.

I sat nervously on the wall outside the movie theatre, repeatedly glancing down at my watch. It was 5:30. She should be here any minute. I was so excited, I’d liked this girl for almost 5 years now and now at the tender age of 14 I’d finally plucked up the courage to ask her on a date. I was ecstatic when she accepted. I ran round my house about 8 times punching the air in victory.

She was my first love.

She lived across the road from me my whole life. I always watched from afar though, too nervous, too shy to go and talk to her. She was younger than me, she’d just turned 13 but even now she was beautiful. We had a few conversations, I was sure she didn’t like me though. I was just the nerdy, music obsessed guy that lived across the street. She would talk back politely but never furthered the conversation.

I saw her at the park this morning, she was singing to herself. Her voice was amazing; I didn’t know she could sing, this just made me so much more intrigued. I walked over to her nervously and sat next to her on the bench. She stopped singing and looked over at me, smiling politely.

“You have a beautiful voice.” I stuttered shyly, she giggled and blushed slightly.

“Thank you, I love music.” She said dreamily, her love for it was very clear through her eyes. I almost punched the air in victory again, we had something in common! I took a deep breath, readying myself for my next question.

What do I have to lose?

“Um, I was just wondering, would you like to go the movies with me tonight?” I ranted, it’s a wonder she even knew what I said, I said it so fast. She just looked a me for a minute, hesitating before she replied.

“Sure.” She smiled, my heart fluttered.

“Okay, meet me there at half 5?” I asked, resisting the urge to let the huge smile I was hiding drift onto my face. She nodded before getting up and saying her byes and leaving the park. I ran all the way home and spent the next few hours doing my hair and finding an outfit she would be impressed with.

And that leads me to now. Its half 5 outside the movie theatre, I keep looking around for her but there’s no sign of her yet. I twirl the rose I’d got for her between my fingers anxiously, hoping to get my heart rate back to normal.

I waited for two hours. Two whole hours.

She never shown, I figured there must be a reason. The girl I love wouldn’t harm a fly, she wouldn’t have stood me up unless there was an emergency. I decided to go to her house, see If she was okay. I was near her house when I heard voices, I decided to keep to the shadows so whoever it was didn’t spot me. I looked over into her garden and I was right, she did have a reason not to show. It wasn’t the reason Id have expected though.

She was sat on her porch with Kevin, the guy who lived next door but one to me. He knew all about my love for her. How could he do that to me? I winced as he leaned over and brushed her beautiful hair out of her eyes and ran his thumb across her cheek before pulling her into a tight embrace.

Present day.

That was the first time I had my heart broken.

You’re probably wondering what the hell this has to do with anything? Well that girl was infact Charlotte Thompson of Idiotic Idols.This was an old wound though, this had healed, I got over her years ago, that’s not why I have a problem with her.

It hurts that she doesn’t remember me.

Did I really mean so little to her, did she really just think of me as the nerd that lived across the road? She stood me up. I loved her and she stood me up.

She moved off of my street about a week after that and I never spoke to her again. Never saw her again, never wanted to see her again. Then I met Gena and she fixed me, I thought she was perfect, I thought this would be the girl I’d marry. Then she left me, for Ben Thompson of all people.

Flash back.

“But Gena..” I stuttered. I couldn’t believe this. She was breaking up with me, she couldn’t do this. She was my world.

“Look Zack, we both knew this wasn’t working anymore. I’ve met someone else and I’m happy. So I’m sorry, we’re over.” She said, pretty unsympathetically if I do say so myself.

“Yo- you’ve met someone else?” So many emotions were running through me. The three that stuck out to me were Anger. Depression. And the familiar feel of heartbreak.

“Yeah. He’s called Ben. Ben Thompson. Says you grew up on the same street as him.” She replied, a dreamy smile on her face that made my guts twist in jealousy. I couldn’t believe it. The Thompson curse bit me again. This time not by Charlotte but her brother. Either way, here I was again, heartbroken and all I could do was blame her. I wish she’d never lived opposite me, I wish I’d never met her.

She ruined my life.

Present day.

I know deep down I can’t blame her for Gena. She had nothing to do with that, but last I heard before they moved Ben and Charlotte were ridiculously close. Surely she knew it was me, surely she felt a bit sorry for leaving me waiting for her for two hours? Obviously not though, she didn’t have a clue it was me, she’s obviously forgot all about that day all them years ago. But I haven’t,

I can’t.

And what did you expect. It was only a month after Gena left me that Josh found Idiotic Idols to support us. I didn’t know of them, I most certainly didn’t know that Charlotte was in it.

Flash back to March 10th.

We were all sat in the room, aggravated that Josh had got us into this mess. He better sort it, I was not in the mood for this. The door suddenly burst open and in walked Josh.

“GUYS!” He shouted. “I found a band! And they’re seriously good.” He played some tracks to us. They were admittedly really good. I recognized that voice though. It made my head spin and anger rise, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I couldn’t work out why or who it was. The last track finished playing and I stayed in silence, still trying to work out who it was.

“Well done kid, they’re amazing.” Matt finally exclaimed whilst patting Josh on the back, everyone else murmuring in agreement.

Then Josh opened up their bio file, and everything fell into place as soon as my eyes fell onto her picture. I’d recognize her anywhere, she was still painfully beautiful.
“The lead singer is Charlotte Thompson, she’s 23..” Josh started and that’s all I needed to confirm it. I couldn’t believe it. She’d already ruined my life and now she’s back, what more could she do? He finished the bio and now I was full of anger towards the girl who was probably completely a different person now.

“Great.” I muttered loudly to myself, “Another girl, that’s just what we need.” This annoyed Brian and he finally snapped.

“Stop being a jackass Zack. Just because Gena left you doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch to every girl we come across!” I was beyond angry at this point, not necessarily at Brian, just everything, it all built up.

“Shut up you fuck face! Wait ‘till Michelle runs off with another guy then don’t come running to me for sympathy!” I shouted at my best friend before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind me.

Present day.

And I’d expected the first meeting to be awkward, maybe she’d even apologize for what happened? What I never expected was for her to not even remember me. Not even realise who I was and what she’d done to me.

It hurt. It really hurt.

And yeah, I’ll admit as much as I don’t want to, I was insanely jealous at the airport before. I hated seeing her with that guy and yeah again, I’ll admit I handled it awfully but I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stand there and watch them exchange numbers. I just couldn’t.

I hate her for everything she’s put me through and I know she’s a different person now, she’s grew up but I still can’t help but hold it all against her.

Though, as much as I hate her I can’t help but let the old feelings for her resurface sometimes.

I couldn’t help but love her.

And at the end of the day, I may be ruining the tour for her but she ruined my life.

And she can’t even remember doing it.