Behind The Searcher

The moment we set foot in the settlement, I knew something was off. Worry hung over me like a cloud. Villagers whispered as we passed, eyes darting anxiously. A woman hid her children behind her. No one would meet my eyes. Suspicion was fleeting across Salvarsar’s face, mixed with a good dose of confusion.

When we reached the center of the town, I was certain that the villagers recognized me. I had a scar that ran down the middle of my lower lip; my reward for fighting against the kids who used to abuse me back when I was younger and weaker. They had slashed across my mouth with a crude blade, and badly enough to leave a lasting mark.

I was known to the world a deathly pale man with eyes made of ice. Tall and thin, with a horrendous scar that I had earned in a fight with Death himself. Humanity was disgusted by me; I was disgusted with humanity. They thought I was despicable, sick. Truth is, I was human. We all have our darker sides, do we not? And after all, I was only being true to myself. Not trying to hide who I am from the world. Where’s the harm in that?

“Anthrarcis!” Salvarsar hissed, beckoning me over to a small, secluded path hidden from the crowds.

“What,” He spat, “is going on? These people seem afraid of you!”

I knew without a doubt that I could not say the wrong thing right now. I had to choose my words with care.

A battle raged in my mind. One side wanted to tell him the truth, and the other, more devious side of me opted for lies. With a tremendous difficulty, I chose.

“That would be because they are afraid of me.”

Salvarsar looked at me, more confused than ever.

“What? Why?” He laughed.

“…I am not all good, Salvarsar. I have… done things.”

His face was as emotionless as my hesitant words.

“I… I killed a man. I had my reasons, but you would undoubtedly misunderstand me if I were to go into more depth about this. So I will only say this; I felt it was necessary for the well-being of my community. He was scum.”

Salvarsar was shaking his head in disbelief, and had a panicked look in his eyes.

“Listen, I know what happened to your family. I don’t think I would ever kill without reason like that. I... I didn’t want you to know of this. But it seems too late for that now. Anyway, I believe you deserve the truth.”

My ears picked up shouting from the town square as he backed away from me, hands trembling.

“No…you can’t be. You… I trusted you!” He cried out in distress and horror.

“And you’re worse than the monster that murdered my family!”

“No, I-“

“You lied to me!”

“Listen,-“

“Listen to yourself!” His voice broke painfully. “You are saying how you killed someone, and you think that’s okay!”

“It’s not like that…”

He laughed, a bitter, broken sound, which mingled with the yelling from behind me.

“You are dirt to me.” He enunciated each word precisely, with a spiteful tongue. I reached out to him frantically, dying to get him to understand…

A sharp pain exploded in my gut. As sharp as the blade Salvarsar gripped in his pale hands. As sharp as the pain from the realization that I had lost the one human being I cared for; the only one that cared for me.

I collapsed into the snow, doing nothing to attempt to slow the flow of blood. I didn’t care.

Maybe I deserved this. To die. Come to think of it, there could not be a more fitting was to end my shameful waste of a life…

Strong hands grabbed me roughly by the arms. I felt myself being dragged through the snow. The cold numbed the burning in my gut. The sweet, sweet burning.

I closed my eyes, and let the darkness consume me.