Everything I've Ever Wanted

January flew by so fast that it practically gave me whiplash. The first week of February did too and it was now almost Valentine's Day. I walked along campus, on a Thursday afternoon, contemplating what I should get Tony for the Hallmark holiday. My body shivered, but not from the wind. It had been an occurrence since we returned from North Dakota more than a month ago. Something was coming. I felt like Pocahontas talking to Mother Earth, the winds of change were blowing and every time I felt that feeling creep up on me, I shivered, but not as much as I did every time I walked into my house.

Dakota was around all the time now, constantly pestering me about my boyfriend. It had come to the point where Tony couldn't even be near me because she swarmed me, she practically was glued to me whenever I was around. She was border line stalkerish with how she tended to find me on campus. Now I actually had to pay attention when I was with Tony. I was always looking over my shoulder or his, scanning our area for her. Some days I was more careful than others, I made sure I memorized her schedule so that I knew when she would be in the facinity. But sometimes she would skip class, and pop up after our economics class. She did that last week and I shoved Tony, pushing him away from me. I ran ahead, grabbing Dakota and pulling her along.

"Hi!" She exclaimed to me, as I pulled her across campus. I looked over my shoulder at Tony mouthing I'm sorry as he shook his head, rolling his eyes and waving me along. I blew him a kiss, thanking him for being so understanding. That was the day I made my decision, I needed to tell him. It wasn't fair to keep him in the dark any longer. He needed to know what I was keeping from him so that he could help me tell her or keep it from her, which ever way would work out best.

I rolled my shoulders inward against the cold, running the last couple steps to Tony's house since he had just gotten home from practice. He was sitting on the couch, looking out the window. As soon as he saw me, he jumped up from the couch, opening the door for me and ushering me inside. He pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tightly and rubbing my arms to generate some heat.

"It's cold," I pouted at him.

"I'm warm," he murmured into my ear, nipping at my lope and tugging it into his mouth. I moaned softly for him to continue and he did, his teeth nibbling as his hands ran up and down my back, massaging my shoulders tenderly.

"How was practice?" I asked him, my voice flowing from me as my whole body turned to mush in Tony's arms. He made me forget about Dakota and how she was constantly hovering around me. His hands pushed and massaged my muscles until they were putty in his arms and I was falling asleep standing up.

"Hard." He sighed softly. His hands stopped their motion with the mention of practice and I pulled away to look into his beautiful green eyes that would always take my breath away.

"Talk to me," I prodded him, noticing the way he gave me a look that said no. I tilted my head to him and put my best pout on my face, my lip quivering slightly as I batted my long lashes at him. "Let me in, baby." I cooed softly to him, watching him melt into my trap.

"The team isn't winning and as a captain it's my responsibility to get them going. I don't know how to get them going. I'm trying to be encouraging and push them, but they just aren't buying into anything right now," he sighed, running a hand through his recently trimmed hair. He was getting more haircuts than ever before because I told him I'm not digging the sweatband he's been prone to wearing.

"Oh baby." I whispered to him, hating the distraught look on his face. I'd never seen him so upset about the team. They had not been doing well, only two sweeps in the whole season coming down to the home stretch was not a good way to get ready for the playoffs. The Gophers seemed to have the mindset the whole season that something's gotta give, but they never tried to figure out what that something was. "You can't make them buy into the system. You can't make them play better. But what you can do is lead by example. Keep grinding away, keep playing your style of hockey. They get fired up based off what you do. That's the kind of player you are." I cupped his face in both of my hands, bringing it down so that his lips were at the same level as mine. "I love you, and I can tell how hard this is for you because of how do or die you are with the Gophers, but baby, you can't be the whole team."

"I know, but I feel like I owe it to.." He trailed off and looked into the living room where Jordan was with Jess and Mike and Kara laid on the ground together.

"To your dad." I finished for him. "He's proud of you whether he tells you so or not."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed again, his hands trailing through his brown locks as he wrinkled his nose slightly. I giggled at his cute look, kissing his nose.

"You'll figure it out," I assured him, patting his back softly.

"We need to soon." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room where his teammates were in a heated battle of NHL '10. I snorted at the score, Joey was beating the crap out of Aaron who was beyond flustered by his girlfriend as she ran her fingers through his hair, and whispered into his ear, making the blonde boy blush profusely. I smacked Lyssa as I walked past her, earning a giggle.

"Whaaaat?" She grinned at me, raising her eyebrows.

"You're throwing off his game," I pointed to the screen where Joey had a marginal lead.

"No, he does that himself," she told me, widening her eyes in a way that was supposed to mean Aaron sucked at this game.

"Thanks babe."

"Yup."

I laughed and walked to where Tony was in his reclining chair, settling into his lap and curling myself into him. We laid there the rest of the afternoon, snuggling into each other and murmuring softly while the world war three of video games raged on around us. Tony played with my fingers and examined my nail polish, telling me I needed to redo it. I laughed at him and told him he could do it, that next time I would bring some over and he could show me up. He liked that idea.

"I'm going to ask you a couple questions and you're going to answer without asking any back to me, okay?" He asked me once the screaming had subsided enough to have a conversation. Jordan stood up just then, throwing his controller on the ground and swearing at Joey.

"You fucking cheat! Or you just sit on your ass and play this shit all the time," He exclaimed as the rest of the room erupted into laughs. Jordan was the biggest sore loser I had ever known, it was a good thing he won the World Junior Championship.

"What are you talking about Shrades? You just fucking suck!" Joey bellowed between swigs of his beer and laughs. I turned back to Tony and we both started to laugh at his rowdy teammates.

"Go ahead," I told him, rotating so I was straddling his lap. I started to place soft kisses along his jaw, giggling as he rubbed his stubbly chin against my mouth.

"Favorite color?"

"Red."

"Favorite flower?"

"This may be stupid, but roses. I'm traditional in that sense. They smell good." I smiled softly at him, before placing a soft kiss under his eyes. His eyelashes fluttered against my skin, their length almost borderline girly.

"No, that's okay. Favorite jewelry?"

"Rings."I told him, spreading my fingers for him to see the two rings I always wore.

"Tell me about them," he murmured, his fingers trailing over the gold setting with pink and white stones in them.

"I got that one from my dad when I graduated from high school. It was a gift for making it and a reward for my good grades." I told him, looking down at the ring that hadn't come off since the day I got it.

"This one?" He asked, his fingers rubbing against a silver ring with a heart on it.

"This was from my sister. We were 16 and decided that we would exchanged presents for the first time. I choose to give her a necklace with a heart and she gave me a ring. It's the only thing I have left that reminds me of her. Everything else hurts too much to look at." Tony nodded thoughtfully, and then cupped my chin in his hands, pulling my face towards his and softly brushing his lips over mine.

"I never want to see you hurting," he whispered to me, his green eyes so intense as he stared back at me that I felt as if he was looking right into my soul.

"If you're with me, I don't have a reason to." I breathed back to him, my eyes closing as he pressed a strong kiss to my forehead.

"Favorite restaurant?"

"Mmm, The Shamrock in downtown St. Paul. The best burgers you will ever eat. Seriously, my dad used to take me there every Saturday my Freshman and Sophomore year. It will ruin you." I sighed, my mouth watering just thinking about the juicy goodness.

"How long has it been since you've skated?" He asked me, his thumbs stroking my cheeks softly. "And do you still have skates?"

"Since my freshman year in college and no, I don't. The blades broke." I gave him a skeptical look, but he gave me a warning one back, telling me not to ask. I tried to put the pieces together, wondering why he was asking such weird and jumbled questions that were small in the grand scheme of life.

"Last question, kiss me?" He bit his lip slightly before flashing me his killer smile, making my heartbeat fluctuate from slow to fast in the matter of a few seconds.

"Now that I don't need to think about," I told him before leaning in and kissing him with everything I had in me, hoping that it would never end, and that he understood how happy I was that he was in my life.
***

I walked around the living room of my house, pacing to keep myself warm. Our furnace broke earlier this afternoon while both Dakota was at class and I was with Tony, and no one would be able to come fix it until the morning. I bitched at the guy on the phone, asking him how the hell the furnace guy expected us not to freeze our asses off. He just told me to stay somewhere else for the night. Normally it wouldn't be that big of a deal, I really wanted to leave anyway, but Dakota was in one of those moods and me leaving would not go over well.

Ton, our furnace broke. Fuck my life.

I sent him in a text. It took me a good minute to type the message since my fingers were so cold that I could barely press down on the keys. I shivered as I wrapped my fleece blanket tighter around me, wishing it was Tony's arms instead. Dakota came stomping into the room, flipping on the TV and muttering about how cold she was. The same words came filtering out of her mouth as she complained for the umpteenth time about how she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. I rolled my eyes which didn't go unnoticed by her.

"Why don't you just go sleep with your fucking boyfriend?" She snapped at me, glaring across the room at where I sat curled up for warmth in one of the chairs.

"Because I'm being considerate of you since I know you don't have anywhere to go," I shrugged, trying to keep my attitude in check. I really wanted to tell her fine and then storm out the door and drive to Tony's, but I couldn't. He had an early flight tomorrow and I didn't want to tempt him.

Want to come over? Tony asked via text.

I shook my head at the screen while Dakota scowled at me, her teeth baring in a nasty way. I sucked my cheeks in and looked up at her. "What the fuck is your problem?" I asked her, sick of being the nice girl.

"You're my problem. You and your stupid boyfriend." She sneered at me, leaning forward. My breathing hitched and for a second I though maybe she knew about Tony. But she was far too calm for that.

"You don't even know him so stop talking about him like that." I growled to her, my heartbeat accelerating with the oncoming fight.

"Exactly. I don't know him because you won't let me meet him."

"You don't need to meet him." I told her. With all the fighting, my body was growing warm and my teeth had long since stopped chattering. It was obvious that things with Dakota and I were about as chilly as the temperature inside our house. My phone vibrated in my hand, taking me away from my stare down with Dakota.

I'll come get you. I want you warm and in my bed.

My heart stopped beating in my chest, whether from Tony's words or from the fact that there would be no way to get out of the house without Dakota seeing him. I was about to respond telling him no, I'd be fine, when Dakota opened her mouth.

"You are such a bad friend." She snapped at me. My head flew up and I gave her a pissed off and appalled look.

"Are you kidding me!? Out of all the stupid shit you have ever said, that has to be high on your list. Not only have I always been there for you, but I've put up with all of your bad moods and your bad decisions. Who was there for you when your brother called you a cunt? Who was there freshman year when you almost killed yourself from alcohol poisoning? Who was there when Tony Lucia kicked you out of your bed?" I screamed at her, my face beat red as I fumed loudly. I was panting by now, sweat forming on my face from how hot my blood was boiling.

"So? You're supposed to be there through the good times too. But you haven't been, you've been prancing around with your boyfriend who I know is a hockey player. I know. I've seen you hanging out with Jess, Lyssa, and Kara, who are all dating hockey players." She growled at me. "How could you even do that? Be around Tony. Which one is it? Is it Tony?" She asked, her eyes daring me to confirm it.

My gaze never wavered from hers and I wanted so bad to tell her that he was. I wanted to throw it into her face, tell her she was never good enough for him and the thought of him actually fucking her was ridiculous. She had to have lied, there was no way Tony would lower his standards that much. But I was too afraid to ask him, afraid that he would confirm what Dakota said and I wouldn't be able to handle it. Dakota raised her eyebrows at me with each passing second, her doubt wavering.

"No. It's not Tony Lucia. And it's none of your fucking business who it is." I snapped.

All of a sudden, her whole face became blank again, telling me she believed the big, white lie that spewed from my lips. Her shoulders rolled back and she pressed a smile onto her face, relaxing back into the cushions.

"Well, in that case, hook me up with him." She murmured, shrugging her shoulders at me. I held back the glare that was pulling my eyes down and my mouth into a vicious sneer. I pursed my lips and sucked my cheeks in, tilting my head to the side.

"You hate him," I forced out through gritted teeth. Dakota let out a soft, airy laugh that sounded like nails on chalkboard. In my mind, I was diving over the coffee table like that scene in mean girls where they are at the mall and Lindsey Lohan's character is visualizing the mall as the watering hole in Africa. Dakota was the prey that got her ass thrown into the water fountain. Just the visual of it made me relax just a little bit.

"Tony is an asshole, I won't deny that, but he is sooo good in bed." She murmured, her eyes closing and giving me the opportunity to glare viciously at her. A low growl sounded from my chest as the jealous girlfriend clawed against my insides, desperate to get out. "He does this thing with his tongue that just makes me melt. It drives me to the point of insanity," she sighed happily, making my stomach swirl as if I was going to barf. My phone vibrated next to me, but my fists were too clenched to reach down for it.

"Oh really?" I pushed out, licking my dry lips as I snapped my teeth at her. I tried to count to ten in my head to relax myself but it wouldn't happen. Instead, it just pissed me off more.

"Yeah, and he is so big. soo big." Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me tauntingly. As if I needed you to tell me that.My nails dug into the palms of my hands until I was practically screaming out in pain, but it was better than clawing her fake blue eyes out and ripping her blonde hair out. It was then that I realized, as long as I was in love with Tony, Dakota and I could not be friends.

"So I bet you take a lot of pride in fucking Tony huh? Even if he kicked you out? I bet he regretted it. I bet he looked at you the next morning and was like holy shit, how could I have fucked that," I spat out at her. Her mouth dropped open and she looked back at me absolutely speechless. "That's exactly what he did isn't it?" I sneered.

"How dare you!" She yelled at me, standing up from the couch at the same time I stood from the chair. "You don't know anything about Tony and I!" She yelled at me.

"Oh really? I think I know a lot more than you ever told me." I snapped at her, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring down at her.

"Tony and I had sex. End of story. It was the best night of my life and he told me we couldn't be together. He told me it couldn't happen again because of hockey."

"He was being polite, Dakota. Do you have to be such a fucking moron? Tony Lucia doesn't give a damn about you or the fact that you had sex all those years ago. Chances are, he never even knew your name. You probably attacked him, but none of that matters because he's with someone who loves him, who wants him for more than his status on the hockey team. And she is 100 times better than you." I pushed out, my teeth still gritted as my body shook with anger.

"Trust me, I was the best he ever had," she scoffed.

"Trust me," I mimicked her, "you were the loosest he ever had."

Movement from the corner of my eye pulled me away from Dakota. I turned my head to the stairs where Tony stood, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glanced from Dakota to me. I looked back to Dakota who looked back at him with a mix of emotions. Half of her looked like she wanted to run to him and the other half looked like she wanted to break down and cry. She slowly looked back at me, her lips pursed and her blue eyes turning to ice as she set them in a glare.

"The door was open so I thought it would be okay to walk in. And damn, it's cold in here."

Oh Tony, you have no idea, but it's about to get a lot colder.