Woke Up From Dreaming

Ever had that this cannot be real, am I dreaming, WTF is this guy doing in my bed kind of experience?

((&& No I’m not talking about the morning after type of thing either.))

Neither have I… until that night.

It all started a two weeks ago when my life was pretty much ruined. Yes, I know I sound overly dramatic but you would sound the same way if your mom and older brother were both killed in a car accident whereas you survived. I had survivor’s guilt for a week doing nothing but staying in my grandparent’s guest bedroom not speaking and barely eating.

Nana (my grandma) and Papa (grandpa) have always been old fashioned coming from a Native American family. They didn’t have A/C , cable, or computer. It’s 2009 for heaven’s sake. But I don’t mind too much. The house has 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms (one being homemade) and a TV/dinning/sitting room. It was small, but the land was wonderful… 20 acres of open land for the cattle and horses to graze on. It was beautiful. That’s where I went after my first week of being holed up in my small room.

When I finally came out I realized I no longer wanted to talk to anyone. Sure, I didn’t completely shut my grandparents out. I’d give them short, one or two worded answers that made them content. But if it was anyone other than them I became mute. Even towards my Uncle Phil that lived with us. He’s pretty much a hobo always living off other people. Honestly, he gave me the creeps which would be the reason I never acknowledge his presence.

The second day I was out on the land I fell asleep under one of the many shade trees with my Ipod going full blast. That was the day it started.

During my short nap I dreamt of wolves… hundreds of them. Hungry, craving my flesh. The background was dark with tints of red all over. Growling, scratching, circling. Then suddenly a howl splits the through the air seeming to freeze the wild beasts in their actions and with a second loud boom of a howl the pack disappears leaving one beautiful, lone wolf standing proudly on the hill. I stared it in the eyes for nearly five seconds before I awoke with a start.

Breathing heavily, I franticly scan my surroundings for the animals that haunted my dream. Seeing nothing I wipe the sweat off my brow and begin my journey back to the house where my only intent was eating an orange and going back to sleep even though it was only lunch time.

Upon returning to the house my plans to sleep the day away were quickly demolished by Nana and Phil who insisted I help wash the horses. We only had 5 horses so I figured I could take my time on one and let them do the majority of them. I went into my room and pulled my bikini out and quickly changed into it with a pair of denim shorts over it before heading out to the barn.

While I washed Bucky, who got his name from never letting anyone ride him and just so happened to be my favorite, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was staring at me. The feel gave me goose bumps on my arms. I turned to my nana and she was busy cleaning the horses hooves, so I peaked between Bucky’s ears at Phil. He didn’t notice I was looking towards him because his eyes were glued to my body.
Eww… I mentally cringed at the thought of one of my family members staring at my body in a “Take it off” kind of way.

Feeling highly uncomfortable knowing he was looking at me, I half-assed finished cleaning the horse and hurried to the house.

When I made it to my room I realized it was nearing 5 o’clock. I couldn’t believe how fast the day had gone. I fixed myself a sandwich, and as I entered my room I wrote on my white bored “ Already ate. Sleeping now.”As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.