I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

**Yeah, I'm not a complete freak... the title comes from an Alkaline Trio song called Radio. It's AMAZING. Every line of that damn song could be a chapter title. Listen to it NOW.**

12 Blue In The Face.m4a

That morning I woke up to Gerard holding my nose, so I stopped breathing.

“Fuck you, dick.” I said hitting him in the chest.

He just smiled at me.

“Sorry, you were just too beautiful. I had to wake you up to make sure you were real.”

“So, you tried to kill me?”

“It was the first thing I thought of.”

“I see... not really, but whatever.”

A few seconds past and I realized Frankie had his arm over my waist. I went to move it but Gerard broke the silence before I got the chance.

“Truth or dare?”

“What? I’m not drunk anymore.”

“You’re not? I am,” he laughed out, “Truth or dare?”

“Fine, I’ll play your little game, but only because your nose does this.” I poked his nose.

“Beep.” He made me giggle.

“Dare.” I finally answered.

“Okay, I dare me to unbutton your pants.”

“Gerard!” I quietly scorned.

“Well, okay, I guess since it’s a dare I have to do it.” He pretended, and reached for my pants.



“Stop it, silly.” I moved his hand on to Frankie’s arm slumped over me.

“Oh shit, I forgot he was here.”

“Stop lying,” I laughed, just because he was being so damn cute, “We have all day. It’s my last day before I have to go back to work.”

“Uh-uh. I have an appointment with my therapist today.”

“Aww. Really? Bummer. When?”

“Not now.”

“I’m not having sex with you here, Gerard.”

“Ah, man, now that’s a bummer.”

We lazily kissed for a while, and I curled up in the crook of his arm. I was just about to fall back into sleep when I felt Frankie moving. I looked over to him and he was shaking.

“Gerard.” I pushed him, and brought his attention to Frankie.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” I turned over to wake up Frankie, “Frankie, babe, wake up.”

I lightly stroked his arm, he barely reacted to me. I sat up and swept the hair out of his face.

“He has a fever. Frankie wake up.” I tried again, he began to stir, “C’mon, hun, get up, you’ve got a fever.” I laced my fingers with his and he opened his eyes.

“It’s fucking cold in here.” Frankie whispered.

“Here,” I grabbed the comforter from over Gerard and I and completely covered up Frank, “Are you okay, you’re still kind of shaking.”

“Um, I don’t know yet, give me a minute, okay?”

“Sure thing. You want me to start the tea kettle? Is it your throat? I think this is your Epstein Barr virus acting up again.” I listed off everything I could think of and sat up.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m fucking tired as hell.”

Gerard sat up as well and began to massage my shoulders.

“Fuck... it’s your kidneys, Frank, they can’t take it. I should have never let you drink so much.” I cursed myself, sliding off the bed and out of Gerard’s grasp.

“No worries, princess. Just go get some donuts, or something okay?” Frankie propped himself up on his elbows.

“No.”

“Yeah.”

“No. I’m gonn-” I repeated.

“Go get some fucking donuts, dammit!” Frankie started laughing, but that led to coughing.

I looked at him with concern.

“Nope, don’t look at me like that, we’ve been through this a hundred times. Now, go get me some damn donuts!” He pointed his finger towards the door, “Go with her loverboy.” He insisted, looking over at Gerard.

I walked over to Frank on the bed and reached out to feel his forehead again, but he slapped it away.

“Ow!”

Frank looked up at me with “what-did-I-just-say?” eyes.

“Okay, okay, we’re going. Let’s go, babe.” I motioned for Gerard.

Frank rubbed his temples as we left the room.

“You want some aspirin?” I offered before closing the door.

“I’m not listening.” Frank mused, his voice hoarse.

“Not this again.” I murmered as we went down the stairs.

“Not what?” Gerard asked.

“Frankie is really prone to getting sick. He was, like, always sick when he was little, and he gets sick a lot now. Epstein-Barr is just this dormant virus he has that pops up every once in a while. It’s a bitch too, because it can last for months. And Frankie can get real bitchy.”

We laughed and made our way to Dunkin’ Donuts.

“So, you really wouldn’t have sex with me at Frankie’s house?” He asked me, pressing his face into my ear.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’ve already done it around Frankie. And we haven’t gotten caught. Why tempt fate?” I caught a woman wearing an ugly suit glaring at us. I gave her a “what?” look, and slid my hand into Gerard’s back pocket.

He put his arm around my shoulders and I looked up at him to see if he was listening, he was staring at the flourescent sign.

“Ooo! Coffee!...” He pointed out.

“You’re still drunk, baby.” I wrapped my other arm around his waist.

He laughed, at the sign apparently, and looked at me, “What?” he asked, smiling.

“I said, I LOVE you.” I said it slowly, so he would understand.

“Oh... Thanks.” He just sort of laughed like Beavis and Butthead.

We brought the dozen dunuts and two cups of coffee to Frank’s house. I walked upstairs and found Frank asleep.

“Hey. Are you awake?” I whispered to him, face down on the bed.

He didn’t answer, so after I checked he was still breathing, I went back downstairs. Frank’s mom left for work early, so we had the house to ourselves. There was a TV in the kitchen, so I turned on some cartoons and Gerard and I threw back our breakfast sitting on stools together. The phone rang, and out of habit I picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, bring me a donut.” Frankie had called me with my cell phone I left on his bedside table.

“Okaaay.” I was weirded out because he caught me off gaurd, and his voice was so deep, I didn’t know who it was.

I made it back up the stairs, and could hear Gerard’s unmistakable high-pitched laugh from the kitchen.

“God you frickin’ scared me Frank. I thought you were your uncle Pauly, from the mob.”

“No, he only calls on holidays.” Frank weakly muttered, he was still laying on his stomach.

“Poor kid, at least you still have your wit. You look like shit.”

“Thanks, princess. At least my boyfriend doesn’t laugh like a heina.”

“Shaddup.” I told him, mocking his Jersey accent.