I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

“Ah... what the fuck... AAahhhh!” Buddy woke up and smeared the cream all over his face, “Hey! You fuckers!

The room exploded in laughter and Buddy sat up in anger.

“You fucking pieces of shit!,” He was mad, but couldn’t stop smiling, “I hate you guys...”

“You had it coming. After all those times you and Katmandu got me!” Frank vindicated his actions.

“God, that’s funny EVERY time! Hahahah-” I was cut off by the big glob of shaving cream that was thrown at me and hit my chest, “Did you... you just... Oh, you don’t know how DEAD you are right now!” I ran over and lunged on Buddy.

While I was spreading shaving cream into his mouth and ears, and he was trying to crawl away, everyone woke up. Buddy couldn’t do much to defend himself because he was laughing too hard, and no one could help him, because they were all doubled over as well.

I stood up, victorious, and wiped my hands on Gerard’s shirt.

“What did I do?!”

“Something good I guess, come into the bedroom...” I told him, pulling him by his shirt, “Everyone help themselves to breakfast!”

I opened the door, with no concern for Mikey, and Gerard helped my shirt off.

“I think your bra is dirty, too.” He tried to convince me.

“I think your dirty.” I responded, removing his shirt and dropping it to the ground.

His hands didn’t leave my skin as I stepped next to the closet door.

“I hate everything I own!” I complained about my wardrobe, enjoying the warmth from our skin touching.

His lips were suctioned to my neck, leaving a mark, and his hands were sliding under my bra.

“I guess I’ll just wear this...” I resolved, but he soon turned me around to face him and shut me up.

“Hey, can we eat your-’ I heard Troy come in, but stop short.

Gerard groaned and turned his head to look at him. I kept my eyes on Gerard and smiled at his frustration.

“Eat whatever.” I authorized.

“Uh, okay. You too Gerard, eat whatever...” He joked.

“Fuc-” Gerard started, but I put my hands on his face and turned him to look at me.

I was looking at his lips and then took them in mine. He pressed close to me and I stumbled to maintain my balance. Unfortunately, I failed and tripped into the open closet, pulling Gerard down on top of me.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I did that!” He apologized.

“Ahh! I’ve got a high heel up my ass!” I flipped on to my side and removed the shoe and threw it. Of course it had to hit Mikey, finally waking him up.

“Oops, sorry Mikey!” I stood up and grabbed a sweatshirt for myself, and then a shirt for Gerard.

I ran out of the room with Gerard on my heels. Pulling our shirts over our heads, I needed another cup of coffee.

“Necesito más café, Toro.”

“Por supuesto.” Ray then poured me the cup of coffee I asked for.

“Me amo nuestro juego.”

“Yeah, me too.” Ray agreed.

“I really hate you guys.” Frankie told us, sarcastically.

“Tell me about it.”

“So, everyone has something to eat right? ¿Algo comer?” I asked.

“I think... yes.” Jamia said, hesitantly.

“Good.” I looked around at the people scattered, we all looked like shit.

Most of us were standing around the kitchen table, talking, venting, complaining, whatever.

“Did you really kiss every girl last night?” Troy asked Buddy.

“Oh, yeah. How many did you?” Buddy answered.

“I dunno... six?”

“Psssh, that’s only half!” Buddy teased.

“Wait, did you kiss Nat?” Troy wondered.

“No, Tim was all over her all night.”

“That’s right,” Troy looked over his shoulder to where Nat and Tim were sitting next to each other talking, “They’re still at it.”

“Haha, oh yeah. How... sickeningly cute.” Buddy commented.

“Hey... are you guys talking about me? I’m so embarrassed!” Frank interjected, in a girly tone.

“No, fool! You know, I just realized... everyone gets busy at Katmandu’s place.” Troy noticed.

“Yeah... everyone except me and Jamia...” Frank elaborated under his breath.

“Haha, you loser.”

“That’s not helping me get laid, fucker!” Frank pointed out, edgy.

“You see... what you got to do is get her jealous.” Buddy advised.

“What are you talking about, dumbass?” Troy doubted.

“Oh, yeah... nothing gets girls hotter than you kissing other girls. They can’t stand it, and they make it their mission to get you to kiss them. It’s always worked for me... and look at how much pussy I get!” Buddy claimed.

“You’re full of-” Troy started.

“You know? That makes sense...” Frankie said, putting it all together in his head.

“Yeah, bro. You should try it. Try it now.” Buddy insisted.

“Yeah,” Frank turned to leave, but then turned back around, “Wait, with who?”

“Whoever won’t care as much.” Buddy responded.

“I’d kiss Kat, but there’s Gerard, and we’ve kissed a dozen times... and then some.... but whatever," he said, vaguely, "Will it work if it’s with her? I don’t know if Jamia will care.”

“Just look at how pissed she is now. You kissed Kat last night, and Jamia’s barely spoken to you today.” Troy said, trying to convince Frank not to do it, but his message was lost in translation.

“True. As long as you promise it won’t fuck me and her up forever.” Frank confirmed.

“Girl scout's honor. Now, go get ‘em, tiger.” Buddy encouraged, pushing Frank over to me.

I glanced over at Frank who was walking over to me, Gerard, Toro, Sarah, Julian, and Vasco. He took a long swig from his beer and had a scheming look in his eyes.

“Oh, God. What’s the Sundance Kid up to now?” I whispered over to Gerard.

Sarah was making us all laugh by randomly quoting bad commercials.

Frank had a sour face on and Sarah called him on it, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, it’s just that none of you followed the rules last night.”

“That’s what you’re hung up on? Seriously?” Vasco asked.

“Yeah! Why even have rules if you’re not going to follow them?” Frankie objected.

“You’re only saying that because they were your rules.” Julian figured.

I sighed at the stupidity of this conversation and looked down into my cup of coffee out of boredom.

“There’s only one way that’ll I’ll be satisfied,” Frankie started, “If I get my seven seconds...”

Before I could grasp what he had just said Frank had grabbed me and forced his tongue into my mouth. I tried to pull away, but when I did, he pushed me up against the counter and bit my lip. Hard. I put my hand up to my mouth and shoved him away from me.

“What?! It’s the rules!” Frankie obnoxiously told me, after I gave him the dirtiest look.

“Frankie! You need to stop! There can be no more of this, from now on. You need to get your shit together and grow the fuck up. I don’t even understand it anymore...” I fumed.

My lower lip started to sting. Gerard placed his thumb over it and the warm red liquid stained him. Gerard turned to Frank, giving him an infuriated-yet-composed look before turning to grab me a wet towel.

“Here.” Gerard began to gingerly dab my lip with the towel.

Everyone had become awkwardly quiet and I glared at Frank with disdain, thanking him for the silence. He turned back to Buddy and Troy, but then walked towards the door. He opened it and left, slamming the door behind him.

“What the fuck just happened?” Mikey asked.

“You’re not the only one who does stupid stuff around here, Mike.” Ray added, with a short laugh.

I jumped up to sit on the counter and took the towel from Gerard, “I’m really fucking embarrassed, you guys,” I looked at Jamia with apologetic eyes.

“Um... we’ll be right back.” Buddy quickly muttered before rushing out the door with Troy, after Frank I supposed.

I was staring up at the ceiling trying to prevent tears from falling as most of the guests began to announce they had to leave. We said some short, strange goodbyes, and I was left in my humiliation surrounded by Ray, Mikey, Sid, Gerard, and Jamia.

“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s just a jackass.” Jamia assured me, seated next to me on the couch.

On one side was Sid and on the other was Jamia, they were both trying to calm me down. Ray and Gerard were seated around the kitchen table.

“Yeah, but I thought he was going to relax a little since you guys started up.” I insisted.

“He’ll never relax, he’s Frankie. Remember? Every girl is in love with him? Well, you're a girl and he's him. And I’m positive he knows he fucked up and is sorry.”

“But, I feel like it’s my fault, an now you two will never have a chance. And you’re perfect for each other.”

“If we’re perfect for each other, we’ll be together.”

“Yeah, and I think Frank just doesn’t know how to be in a relationship. All he knows is you and him being un-exclusive.” Sid noted, acting as the voice of reason behind all our immature drama.

“Uuuhhh! I’m so stressed out!” I expressed, leaning my head on the back of the couch. I let my head fall limply to one side and caught a glimpse of Gerard looking at me with... what was it?... scorn? contempt? debauchery? “I just want to go back to bed...”