I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

A few hours of fun flew by and Gerard and I found our way into our own bed.

“I... I... I...” I was panting and wiping the sweat away from my brow, trying to find words to thank him.

“Well, I’ve done my job and you’re welcome.” He smirked at me, but soon laughed.

“Oh my God...,” I breathed, “I love you, boy. You know that?”

He stared at me for a moment, watching me catch my breath, waiting till our chests fell in time.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” He finally said, thoughtfully.

I closed my eyes and let his words soak in and brand my heart.

Not for too long, though. We went at it for the rest of the night and 8am came much to quickly.

“He-hello?” I answered the phone half asleep.

“Hey, princess, it’s me. I’m comin’ over at 8, right?”

“It is 8, Frankie.”

“Oh, well, good. I’m outside.”

“What?... Uuhhh, okay, I’m coming down.”

I slowly got out of bed and searched for clothing.

“Let me guess. Frank?” Gerard groggily asked, waking up.

I nodded my head, “You can hit the shower if you want.”

“No, if I don’t shower, I’ll have your scent on me forever!” He took a deep sniff and scrunched up his face.

“Ew. No, that’s gross. Haha, you look like a bunny when you do that.”

“You fuck like a bunny.” He said into his pillow.

“Shut the hell up, boy.” I pushed his head into the bed.

“You’re just mad because it’s true!” He called to me as I left the room.

Stumbling down the hall. I could see Frankie’s shadowing excitedly bouncing around outside. He made me smile and I started to laugh as I opened to door.

“I CAN”T BELIEVE WE’RE LEAVING TODAY!” Frankie cried out, lunging at me with a hug.

“Aaaahhh! Yep, I can’t believe it either.”

He was squeezing me and had me pinned against the couch. He stepped back and I looked up at him

“You look sad," He said, "It’s okay, well be back before you know it.”

“Please, I won’t miss you guys. Us girls can finally have a nice, peaceful week.” I tried to brush off his comment and walked into the kitchen. I could feel him watching me.

“Damn he must of hammered you pretty hard last night. You’re walking funny today.” Frankie commented flatly.

“I am not!” I protested, turning on the pot of coffee I desperately needed, “Am I?” I thought out loud, somewhat proud, “You’re just jealous.”

“Um... not jealous.”

“Oooohhh, so you and Jamia, huh?”

“Well...” Frankie lifted his eyebrows in a dead giveaway.

Gerard sauntered in just then.

“Hey, bro! Up high, nice work!” Frankie raised his hand expecting a high five and shifted his eyes to me.

“What are you talking about?” Gerard said, at first.

I turned around facing away from the boys to take down some cups.

When I did, Gerard walked to Frank and gave him a low five and bragged in a hushed voice, “You see how she’s walking this morning? Fuck yeah, dude!”

“Teach me the ways, oh grasshopper.” Frankie complimented.

“You’re too young.” Gerard advised.

“What are you boys whispering about?” I interrogated.

“Just man stuff, princess...” He smiled at Gerard and let out a quick devious laugh, “So, um... how long does it take to get there?” He asked me.

“Pfft, I don’t know, a couple of hours?”

“This is gonna be so sweet!” Frankie stammered while Gerard came over to me.

“You can still change your mind about coming.” He reminded me, giving me a lingering kiss.

“Well, maybe... no, no, I can’t. I’ll just come visit you in New York City and it’ll be good.”

“But, the van isn’t big enough for me to do my work.” He sexily hinted.

“Gerard! Not in front of the child.” I motioned to Frankie.

“Oh come on, I’d watch you two. You know I would.” Frank guaranteed.

“God! I’ll be happy when the boys in my life are away!...,” I thought about my words, "For a while anyway.”

There was a knock at the door, it was Mikey and Sid.

“Hey you guys. Sorry I’m not... dressed, or anything.” I apologized opening the door. I walked back into the kitchen and the entered the room.

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Sid assured.

Mikey dropped his bag next to Frankie’s near the couch, “Hey, Kat, are you okay? You’re walking kind of... funny.”

Gerard and Frank exploded into laughter and my cheeks became warm with embarrassment. I smacked both of them on the back of the head.

“I don’t get it. What did I say?” Mikey sputtered, baffled.

We all leisurely conversed for while, waiting for Ray and Otter to show up.

When they did, Mikey and Frank went outside to discuss the configuration of all the luggage. Gerard and I stole a quiet moment in our room while he finished getting dressed. My eyes became blurry with tears, and I hurried into the bathroom before they began to fall. Gerard soon knocked on the door.

“Are you in there? Don’t... don’t cry, babe. What have I said about crying?”

Before I answered Mikey called him outside. I composed myself and stepped out of my hiding place. I joined Sid in the kitchen again and gave her a smile.

“So? What can we get away with while they’re gone?” I joked.

“Just about everything, I think.” Sid revealed.

“Oooh, we better think of something good, then.”

We laughed then went outside to fix what they hadn’t.

“No, no, no, you have to put the equipment under our shit because it’s heavier.” Ray directed.

“Wow, this thing is small.” Mikey commented about Otter’s van.

“You’ll all become better friends.” I promised.

Everyone laughed a bit then fell silent, lost in thoughts about the journey ahead of them.

“Thanks so much, Kat, for all your help. You’re why were here.” Ray commented, snapping us out of our own heads.

“No, stop it. You guys had the talent, and it was just a matter of time. I was just in the right spot at the right time-”

“Too bad, that’s a lie. We owe everything to you.” Otter remarked.

“He’s right.” Gerard had come up beside me and had his arm around my shoulders, “So you better come with us, so we don’t fall apart.”

“You guys worry too much. Just let it go, give it all you got every night, and you’ll always land on your feet. Don’t take people’s shit, because they’re just scared of what you guys can do. Trust me when I say that.”

The boys started nodding in realization and confidence.

We had a “moment.”

“Now, Buddy is gonna be here pretty soon, so is there anything else anybody needs?” I made the situation “normal” again.

“Do you have your inhaler, Mikey?” Gerard made sure in a protective brotherly tone.

“Yes.” Mikey quietly responded.

“Does everybody have deodorant? It’s critical.” I asked.

Just as I did, Buddy rolled up. He would be acting as road manager until we found a real one. The boys were laughing at Mikey and just the whole crazy situation.

“Are we ready to embark on to the darkest galaxy in the known universe, boys?!” Buddy feverishly asked, freaking the boys out.

“Buddy! Don’t scare the poor things. Don’t worry guys, Buddy’s out of his damn mind. He won’t let anything happen to you. Remember what I said.” I vowed.

“Oh no. Did she make one of her infamous “pump up” speeches?” Buddy wondered.

The boys all kind of looked around at each other.

“And I missed it!? No!!! I can’t believe it! I love her speeches.” Buddy exaggerated.

We finished packing everything and Buddy took out his ThomasGuide map and picked out the best route to Boston, which was the first stop of the tour. Gerard went inside to grab something. He called my name from inside and I joined him to see what he wanted.

“Do you need something babe.”

He was sitting on the couch and I joined him then out my legs over his.

“Come on, we got to go, baby. Opportunity is waiting.” I professed using big hand movements.

He looked over at me then away then back to me. I pushed his hair behind his ear and gave him a smile.

“I think... I think I’m scared. I don’t know if I can-”

“No, no don’t say that, because I know you can. You’ve lived in your head for your whole life. You are so, so amazing. And I love you more than anything and people will love you if you give them a chance.”

“You know? It’s crazy... but I believe you. And I love you. Thank you. I just need a smack in the head sometimes.”

“Yeah, you do, but that’s why I’m here.” I gave him a big, cheese-filled smile and squeezed his cheeks.

“Stop that!” He told me and grabbed my face into a kiss.

I threw my arms around his neck and grasped him so I would leave a mark. The kiss ended and I latched on to his neck. I was so attached, I could feel his quickened heartbeat. My legs had wrapped around him, and I knew, I never wanted to let him go, but knew I had to.

I sat up and looked at his smiling face, “Now every fucking dirty chick on tour will know you have a crazy old lady at home!”

“Wow, you are one sexy old lady. But, I better leave something for all the shitbags here to remember you’re my old lady.” With that he left a nice brand on me.

“Get the fuck out here!” Buddy was honking the car horn and screaming.

“I guess I got to go.”

“Yep.”

He lifted me up, then placed me on the floor. He pulled me by the hand out the door and we walked out to the van. We stole once last moment behind the van.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Don’t say “too”. It cheapens the phrase somehow.”

“Fine, I love you.”

“Okay.”

“Bye. See you later.”

“Yeah.”

With that he slid back the van door and climbed to the back seat with Mikey.

“I love you, princess.” Frankie said.

“I love you, Frankie.” I responded.

“I wasn’t talking to you! I was talking to Casanova back here.” Frankie pointed to Gerard.

“Ah, get the fuck out of here you hoodlums!” I said while shutting the door.

Sid and I blew kisses and waved to them as they drove away.

Gerard looked back at me one last time, and I couldn’t help but think he felt it, too.