I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

Love Is Not A Victory March,...
...It's A Cold And It's A Broken Hallelujah.

“Holy shit... holy shit, holy shit, HOLY SHIT!”

They were coming back today.

Not good.

I was running around my apartment like a headless chicken, freaking out.

I was putting a bunch of food out that I had bought or made, for the Coming Home party the girlfriends had arranged.

‘I’ll just act normal... Yeah, I can do that...’

I sat at the kitchen counter, but couldn’t help my fingers from tapping like crazy. I blew my nose and checked the clock again. Sid and Jamia should be here pretty soon to help me finish setting up. The boys were gonna meet us here, sometime today and we arranged for some of our friends to join in the celebration. I figured if a lot of smiling, excited faces were there, they’d forget about all the shit, and be happy.

Plus, it’s a lot harder to kill a girl with a dozen witnesses.

My stomach was growling at me again, I hadn’t been eating lately. I just didn’t have the time, from running from work, to the hospital, to the phone here to hear what else in my life was falling apart at the seams.

I got up and grabbed a sandwich.

“Mmmmm... You always make everything better.” I told my sandwich.

The girls arrived as I finished my lunch and had poured myself a Coke.

“I’ve started biting my nails again, since Mikey’s been gone.” Sid confessed, holding out her stubby fingernails.

“Aw, bummer. Well, none of my clothes fit right because I’ve been stressed out for four weeks.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that. I didn’t want to say anything, but I can tell.” Jamia said.

“Hopefully I’ll go back to normal after a few days.”

We had all just sat down to watch a Lifetime movie when Jamia’s phone rang.

“Hey, look it’s Frank!” She told us merrily.

We all smiled and looked on to her conversation.

FRANK’s POV

I had to tell Jamia before anything really bad happened and she found out some other way.

God, she sounded so happy when she picked up the phone. How was I gonna say this?....

“Hey, baby! Where are you guys?”

“Uuumm, we’re still on the plane. Everyone’s asleep. I think we’re only, like, an hour from Newark, so that’s... that’s, um-”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah...” Technically speaking...

“So what’s up?”

“Where are you babe? Are you alone?”

“No, I’m at Kat’s house. We’re waiting for you guys.”

“Can you step outside for a minute?” I asked.

“Umm, sure.”

I heard her excuse herself and close the front door behind her. As she did, I changed my plan of attack. Instead of a premptive strike, I decided on a secret code.

Yep, I decided to lie.

“What’s this about, Frankie?” She wondered.

“I just had to say that I have something to tell you when you get back. So make sure NO ONE talks to you before I do, okay?”

“Uuummmm, okay. But why-”

“Because, baby, it’s important. Just promise, okay?”

“Okay, I promise.”

“Great! I’ll see you in an hour!” I farewelled and quickly hung up the phone.

Then I smacked my forehead for being the idiot that I am.

Wow, she is NOT gonna like me for a while after this.

MY POV

Jamia walked in with a confused look, “That is one strange kid...” She said, “He just told me that he has something important to tell me and that I can’t talk to anyone until he tells me. Weird, huh?”

I shoked on my Coke, “Ha! Yeah, weird!” Well, THAT wasn’t suspicious.

“Do you guys know anything about it?” She asked.

“Nope, not a thing. Why would we?” I sputtered out.

“Yeah, we don’t know anything.” Sid, calmly, backed me up.

“Anyways, he said they should be back in about an hour.”

“Cool, the movie will have just ended.”

The girls went back to watching the TV. I was staring at the TV, but all I could do was worry about what was about to happen.

And how we’re all DOOMED.

People started arriving a bit after 2pm. I won’t go into particulars, so just imagine a pack of wolves attacking a gazzelle that looks a lot like my kitchen counter.

I was leaning against my bedroom door watching the festivities. Everyone looked so happy, but their enthusiasm did nothing to soothe the wretching my stomach was going through.

‘What is he going to say to me? What is there to say? Maybe he’ll be fine. Yeah, maybe he’s fine and I’M fine, too and Grandma’s fine and we’re just a jolly little family... Ha!’ I blew my nose again and coughed for a long time, growing sicker by the minute.

‘I just wonder how this is gonna end.’

“Fuck! I see their van!” Someone yelled.

I perked up and lifted my head to see out the window. It was them alright. Everyone hid behind some piece of furniture, but I stayed where I was against the door. Buddy opened the door and walked in first.

“SURPRISE!!” Everyone yelled.

I said it, too, but weakly. I felt that if I moved too fast I would puke, and that would take the focus off the guests of honor and on to me.

The crowd rushed the boys, messing up their hair, giving high-fives, and hugging. After a moment Frank broke through and ran over to Jamia. He lifted her up, then set her down to kiss her. I watched with a slight grin then moved my eyes to the ground. As I looked up I met eyes with Gerard. He slowly worked his way away from the people and over to me in the shadows.

“Hey.”

I sighed, it was so good to see him in real life, “Hey.”

I reached up to move the hair from his eyes. Niether one of us could help the smiles at our lips.

“How are ya, Kat?” He said with a laugh.

I grabbed him around his waist and rested my head on his chest, “Better... I’m better now.”

“Good. Me too.”

I held on for dear life for a while until someone called Gerard away.

‘Maybe this will work...’

MAYBE I spoke too soon.

As Gerard talked to some people from Eyeball, I waltzed over to the counter and grabbed a drink. Jamia was there.

“Hey! This turned out well, didn’t it?” I asked happily.

“Yeah, I think so.” She returned.

“Oh!” I remembered that Frank had to talk to her, I guess it wasn’t what I thought it was about, “What did Frank say?”

“I don’t know, nothing really.” She started.

Phew.

She continued, “Just something all love-dovey. Not like him at all.”

“What can I say. That’s Frank for ya.”

“You’re right.” She laughed.

I had to know what was going on with Frank, so went to find him.

He was by the stereo changing the tape.

“Welcome back to the Merry Prankster.” I greeted him.

“Hey, Kat,” He said quietly, “It’s really good to see you.”

“Same to you, kid.” I agreed and pulled him into a friendly hug.

GERARD’s POV

I took a sip from my red plastic cup, and as I looked up I saw Kat and Frank hugging. She just can’t keep her damn hands off him, can she?

Hmmm, if Frank’s there.... where’s Jamia?

I scanned the room until I spotted her. She was over by window next to the front door. I walked over to her.

“Hey, you wanna grab a smoke?” I asked.

She nodded hesitantly, and stepped through the door I held open for her.

I lit hers up, then mine.

“Thanks for helping Kat with the party. I kind of feel like she’s been lost without me.” I explained, looking across the street.

She wrinkled her brow with a confused smile, “Umm, yeah. She’s had a lot going on lately. I don’t blame her for not having all her ducks in a row all the time.”

“I guess. She called us up all the time while we were over there, whining.”

“I don’t think she was whining-”

“She’d call either me or Frank and ask us how to do all sorts of shit... She probably feels more connected to Frank now more than ever since...” I looked over to her and smiled, “...well, you probably know.”

“What?”

“You know.”

“No, I don’t. What are you talking about?”

I leaned down to her and whispered, “Since they, you know, hooked up.”

“Excuse me? Hooked up? What are you talking about?”

“Oh shit!” I gasped and put my hand to my mouth, “You don’t know? I shouldn’t have said anything. Sorry.”

She stormed back inside.

I sipped my drink and smiled.

MY POV

Frank and I were laughing like good ol’ friends again. I was almost hyperventilating and had to hold on to Frank’s shoulder so I wouldn’t fall over as he told me about being on a bus with the stinky Way brothers.

All of a sudden I heard the door slam shut, which made the both of us look. Jamia shoved her way through some people, gabbed her coat, and stomped over to us.

“FUCK YOU Frank Anthony Iero for lying to me.” She cried through clenched teeth.

Before she left, she looked me up and down and glared at me.

Frank and I watched her leave and then looked at each other.

We instantly knew what that was about.

And I instantly knew who had caused it.

Frank went after her and I followed behind. He flung open the door and ran down the walkway for a second until he realized she was gone. I observed him until I recognized the figure in my peripheral vision.

It was Gerard.

“What was that all about?” He asked like a pretentious slime.

Frank turned around quickly and stared at Gerard for a while, but he didn’t come after him, he just turned around again and walked away.

“Frank! Come back!” I yelled at him, but he didn’t oblige.

I saw Gerard turn to go inside, but I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“Get the FUCK out of my home.” I screamed and pushed him down the stairs.

He fell flat on his ass and gave me an icy glare before I slammed the door shut.

“Everybody out,” I instructed as I hurried past everyone to my bedroom door.

“Kat-” Buddy tried to stop me, but I pulled myself out of his grip.

“You too Buddy.”

I flew into my bedroom where I locked myself in.