I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

The next three weeks were excruciatingly difficult. My ENTIRE life changed.

At the time, I could hardly believe it. It seemed the he had broken up with me because he couldn’t get over the fact that I’d been with Frank. And he tried to cover it up by telling me that it was because he didn’t trust me.

He wanted the easy way out.

And he found it.

In my bones I knew that he knew that, but he just couldn’t admit it.

I later realized it was that he was only trying to live with too many emotions, all at the same time.

He was addicted to alcohol and pills.

He was depressed.

He couldn’t get past the grief and guilt from the death of his grandma.

That one night after he broke up with me, I flung my cell out my car window and ran over it a few times, out of anger and hate. And when I got home, I threw all the rest of his shit out on the lawn. I walked by it and avoided my eyes for a few days, but it eventually found it's way away from me.

The day after that, I bought a new cell phone. Some big clunky thing that opened strangely, but had a lot of capabilities, called a Sidekick.

I saw it as a new beginning. A fresh start. One that I so desperately needed.

Thank the Lord, my friends were all really good to me.

Mike and everyone at Eyeball understood, and knew that I had to fully inundate myself with work in order to return to some sort of normalcy. Which I did. If I wasn't at home, sleeping, I was at Eyeball.

Natalie was at my side 24/7, since Sid still had ties with Mikey and Gerard. Jamia and I had made a truce and were on good terms again, despite her breaking up with Frank.

And Frankie, oh, Frankie... he was just too involved with Gerard for me to be around for a while. And the band was his dream, I could never get in the way of that. I think he understood.

And, yeah, Gerard had gotten with Olivia. What are ya gonna do?

It was a Thursday after work and Natalie was having dinner with me again. The breakup was no longer a source of tension, but of conventional conversation that I could, lightly, joke about.

“I should have known it would happen, though,” I admitted, sipping a glass of wine, that I had recently become accustomed to, “All his songs are about killing me!”

Natalie tried to hold back a smile.

“You’re not helping!” I cried.

“I’m sorry, but, you know that’s not why this is happening. And he apologized on the cd about that.”

“Oh,” I ignored her, “and you know ‘Demolition Lovers’? ‘Hand in mine into your icy blues...’? My eyes are BROWN! What asshole gets that wrong?!”

“That guy from Moulin Rouge... and they still loved each other... ‘Seems I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re bluu-u-e-’ ”

“Natalie! You’re NOT helping!” I glared at her sitting on the couch.

“Sorry, sorry...”

I sat next to her and was about to turn the TV on, “You know what? I miss Frank.”

“Yeah, me too.” She concurred.

“You think I should call him?”

“Yeah, it’s been a long time to not see your best friend.”

“You’re so right. I think I will.”

I called his mom’s house, and he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Frank? Watcha doin’ tonight?” I asked with a smile.

“Kat?! It’s so good to hear from you. How ya doin’ kid?”

“I’m doin’ okay. I really want to talk to you. Can we hang out?”

“Of course! You wanna come over here?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“See ya in half an hour?”

“Perfect!” I exclaimed, sounding too happy, I think.

“Well, I hate being a third wheel, so I’m out,” Natalie said holding her arms out for a goodbye hug, “Call me later.”

We kissed on the cheek and she left.

I pulled on some jeans and an old Morrisey shirt and headed down the well-known streets to Frank’s house.

He opened the door and pulled me into a great big hug, closing the door first since the last time we’d done that we got everyone in a shit load of trouble.

“Here we are again. Single, fucked, drunk friends.” I proclaimed.

“I’m not drunk yet. I can’t believe you started without me!” He complained.

“Well, you better hurry and catch up then.”

We sat on the couch in the front room in the big empty house and talked for hours. About nothing, about everything. Late into the night and until my throat was tired and my voice became hoarse.

I was leaning my head on the back of the couch trying in vain to stay awake. I yawned wide.

“Jeez, I hope I’m not boring you...” Frank pouted.

“I’m so sorry. It’s really not you. I’ve just had a long, long, long, day. And an even longer week. You ever have those?”

“All the time.”

FRANK’s POV

Saying that, I wanted to tell her about how Gerard was wearing us all down with his sporadic behavior, but I knew she didn’t want to know. Talking about him would only hurt her, but I wanted to say something so bad. He was acting so uncharacteristically, and it was driving us all insane.

Oh, why can’t we all just be a happy family again?!

MY POV

“You wanna watch some infomercials?” Frank asked me.

I knew he knew that I’d fall asleep, but that meant he wanted me to spend the night, “Yeah! I hope the Chuck Norris one is on.”

“Sweet, let me look.”

Um, yeah, it took about seven minutes for me to fall dead asleep.